Karin Fossum - The Water's Edge

She went back into the kitchen. On the counter was half a kilo of minced beef; they were having tacos and the man in her life was coming to dinner. She tried to calm herself down. She tried to follow a strategy because she did not want to lose this man, and as a result she put a great deal of effort into her cooking and her appearance. And even though they had never discussed marriage, he kept turning up. He was unable to resist her, and she did everything she could think of to keep him interested. She grew hot when she thought of him, yet she was also anxious because she could feel that he was not fully committed. And even though she was lovely, and even though she knew a few tricks in the bedroom, there was something reserved about him, a feeling of holding back she could not get to the bottom of. It takes time, she told herself, looking at the mince. He'll come round if I can just keep my cool. She could not imagine life without him: she started trembling as soon as she even visualised his face. He was tall, slim and blond. His body was taut and fit, and he was assertive in an attractive way. He never asked for permission if he wanted her, he just took her whenever he wanted to. She liked being possessed, liked that he forced her arms back and satisfied himself.

Again she snapped out of her daydreaming and went back to the window. She could no longer see Edwin. He had probably gone around to the other side of the van while the driver rummaged through the freezer for a box of choc ices. For a moment she stood there pondering her son's future. He was growing fatter and fatter and he was endangering his health. He was terribly shy with other kids. But he had some good friends, Sverre, Isak and Sindre. She thought of Sindre. A quiet boy with a frighteningly quick mind. He, too, felt like an outsider, he was simply too nice. She thanked fate for the boys who kept Edwin company. She adjusted the red dress and looked down the street. Her son was still blocked by the van. She did not understand why he was taking so long. She forced herself to stop thinking about it and returned to the kitchen where she fetched onions and jalapeño peppers from the cupboard, along with salsa, spices and tortillas. Soon she would hear the sound of Volvo tyres on the gravel and Ingemar Brenner would be on her doorstep, flashing his special smile. Again she grew hot. He was under her skin, she had his smell in her nostrils and when he was absent, when they were apart, her longing became unbearable. But he would be here in just a few minutes, and as she waited for him, she sashayed around like a young girl. Every time she passed the mirror, she smiled to herself, every time she reassured herself. This time it's going to last, she thought, he's the one, I'm feminine, I'm attractive and I surround myself with a cloud of wonderful perfume.

She returned to the window a third time because Edwin had not come back yet. The ice-cream van was still parked outside, the right indicator light flashing and the back doors open. Then she saw Ingemar's Volvo appear, he braked and turned into her drive. She rushed back into the kitchen, she started hyperventilating and forced herself to calm down. She was incapable of playing seriously hard to get, but she exhaled a couple of times to prepare herself. When she heard the doorbell, she walked calmly into the hall and opened the door. He was standing on the doorstep with his strong arms folded across his chest. She returned his smile flirtatiously. It was as if they were playing a game, and how they loved to play, they consumed each other with their eyes, one second at a time. Then he crossed the threshold and entered the hall. He pushed her up against the wall and planted a hand either side of her head. Now she was trapped and she liked it; she closed her eyes. He smelled of aftershave and soap, and something else, something masculine. He kissed her on the lips. Then she opened her eyes and looked at him.

'Did you see Edwin?' she said abruptly.

'Edwin?' he said feigning ignorance.

She wanted to get out of the trap. He prevented her.

'I don't know anyone called Edwin,' he teased her. 'Come on, let's get cooking, Tulla.'

'We're having tacos,' she said enticingly.

He pursed his lips.

'I'll be having my pudding in bed,' he purred, rubbing his nose against her neck. Again she tried to free herself. She wanted to be in control, but her body grew weak. This was what he wanted and he was relishing it. Finally he stepped aside. She rushed outside and looked down the road where she finally spotted her son walking towards her. She rushed back inside the kitchen. Ingemar held up the packet of mince to his nose.

'Let's have it raw,' he suggested.

His words made Tulla giggle. Her laughter rose from deep inside her and rolled out into the kitchen, bright and joyous.

Edwin stopped in the hall, he did not know what to do.

He leaned his massive body against the wall as he held the frozen box away from his stomach. He heard his mother's loud laughter from the kitchen. It was as if she was in a different place and had severed the strong bond between them. It was Ingemar Brenner who made her laugh like that. He decided to wait until she had stopped, but there was something about the silence that followed. He was not sure what they were doing, and that, too, was awkward. Edwin had ended up buying a box of blackcurrant lollies because the ice-cream man had been out of choc ices. He heard the icecream van depart, the tinkling bells growing ever fainter. Again he heard his mother's laughter. He waited with his hand on the door handle. Finally he opened the door and walked in.

'Edwin,' he heard. His mum was coming towards him. 'What took you so long?'

'He didn't have any choc ices,' Edwin said. He looked shyly at Ingemar and he suddenly felt upset about everything, about being in the way and being fat.

'Can I have a lolly now?'

'Can't you wait till after dinner?' Tulla said in a long-suffering tone of voice.

His eyes grew shiny; he badly needed a lolly.

'Go on, let the boy have a lolly,' said Ingemar cheerfully.

Tulla surrendered to the men in her life. Edwin took out a blackcurrant lolly, tore off the paper and sank his teeth into it.

That evening they watched television.

Ingemar sat in the corner sofa with his feet up and Tulla sandwiched between his knees. Edwin sat in an armchair. The dining table was littered with wrappers and lolly sticks. He had already eaten four. In his hands he held a soft toy. It was a dinosaur filled with fine sand and he was stroking his lips with the tip of its tail. This repetitive movement induced a trance-like state in him. He was sated and felt a sense of calm, but it was never long before his hunger returned to torment him. The television seemed to be nothing but meaningless flickering. From time to time his mother's laughter would break through if anything funny happened on the screen. Ingemar was playing with her hair. When Ingemar was in the house, his mother became unavailable. Everything was better before Ingemar turned up, Edwin thought; fortunately, Ingemar had to go away a lot. His mother had explained to him that he travelled widely and gave talks to people. He would often call in the evenings and when he did, his mother sprang to life like a clockwork toy that had been wound up.

'Your homework, Edwin,' she suddenly burst out. 'Have you done your homework?'

She had finally remembered his existence. He hugged the dinosaur and shook his head.

'In my day we always had homework,' Tulla said. 'I don't understand what it is they're doing now.'

'We do it at school,' Edwin explained. 'We do it in the last lesson, it's called project work.'

'But then it's not homework,' Tulla said.

Edwin shrugged. Again he held up the dinosaur to his mouth. He would be going to bed soon. Any minute now his mother would look at her watch, remember it was his bedtime and send him upstairs where he would lie listening to the voices downstairs: Ingemar's deep, calm voice and his mother's girlish laughter. Sometimes Ingemar would stay over and then he would hear them tiptoe down the corridor like naughty little kids. Other nights he would drive home and then Edwin would hear their voices on the doorstep. They always took ages to say goodbye. He preferred it when they went to their cottage, just him and his mother. Their little cottage named Pris which lay by Lake Sander. Ingemar never came with them and up there Edwin felt safe. And when there was no one else around his mother did not care how much he ate.