David Corbett - The Devil’s Redhead

At the bottom the concrete floor was clammy and freezing cold. A disgusting shiver rifled up her legs at the same time a thunderclap of pain shot down from her head. She faltered, one knee gave way and, holding out her arm, she managed to hit the floor softly, whispering, “Whoa, boy.”

Despite her best effort to be stoic, her face was wet with tears. Every inch of her skin bled sweat, and she sat there panting, holding her head and wondering, Good God, what is this?

After several minutes the pain at least became a known quantity, she could think. Where oh where did I put that stash, she wondered, Frank’s old meds, from the times I took him to the hospital. Unable to reach her feet again, she crawled around the back of the stairwell and found the old blue suitcase in a clutter of sagging boxes. She fumbled with the clasps, then just threw it down, busting it open in a cloud of vaguely familiar clothes. Tucked into the inner flap she found the small brown prescription bottle, inside of which she found Haldol, some Pavulon, Nembutal, a Darvocet. Quite a brew, she thought. Not a painkiller in the crowd, but given the circumstances, I’ll settle for numb.

She swallowed dry the first two capsules that tottled into her palm. Taking a deep breath, she settled down onto the cold floor and prepared to wait.

Abatangelo gave Waxman a lift to the Cantina Corozan, down the street from his flat. It was time for the rituals of sobriety. Coffee. Ice water. Cheap heavy food. Waxman leaned into the pay phone, connecting with the Metro desk to get a go for the next day’s edition.

The article, scrawled on place mats, a third of it in Abatangelo’s handwriting, lay on the counter. It had taken two hours to get it down. After muddled agonizing, Waxman chose a front-on shot of Shel for the art.

This was the way with Wax, Abatangelo remembered, you had to stroke his hand. You had to check his fever, bring him soup, tell him how much you loved absolutely every thought he stole from you. Otherwise he’d stop listening halfway through. The eyes would glaze over. You’d never recognize a word you said.

One of Waxman’s modifications, except for one teasing line, was to downplay the Aryan Menace theme, until the connections seemed a bit less contrived. Abatangelo had responded, “Sure, sounds smart,” secretly feeling a little off the wall for having played this card to begin with. Blut und Ehre, he thought. Blood and Honor. Where the hell did that come from?

Another of Waxman’s self-assertions involved removal of all mention of Abatangelo from the article. In defensive tones, Waxman had argued that an “anonymous source in the narcotics trade” conveyed more credibility to the average reader than a named felon. Abatangelo offered only token protest. Remaining nameless had the advantage of postponing Shel’s awareness that he was the one who’d dropped the dime on Frank. It troubled him, thinking how she’d react once she knew. He made a pact with himself- he would never claim he only did it for her.

Regardless, if all went well, in less than twenty-four hours, Frank would be on the run alone, in custody for murder, or dead. Better than I have a right to expect, he thought. But exactly what Frank had coming. Remember, he’s not just some sorry, hapless twerp. He kills people.

At the pay phone Waxman seemed neither agitated nor terribly pleased. They were dealing, him and whoever. The smell of boiling beans and fatty meat impregnated the tiny cantina. Above the grill, Christmas decorations streaked with greasy dust rattled in the overhead fan’s humming exhaust.

Waxman said, “Sure, sure, sure,” and got off the phone. He scratched his throat and turned, eyes searching out Abatangelo, nodding. They were on. He crossed the room as though the man on the other end of the line were still arguing with him.

“Congratulations,” Abatangelo said. “How’s it feel?”

Waxman sat down and tasted his coffee. “We bump a piece on the American Atheist Society. Twenty column inches somewhere between the obits and the weddings. No art.”

Abatangelo shrugged. “From tiny acorns,” he offered. He would have liked a stronger bid out of Waxman, but he told himself, Be patient. He slid the manila envelope containing the best of his prints- of Shel, the ranch house, the cars coming in and out- across the counter. “Just in case,” he said, trying to sound optimistic. Waxman accepted the envelope, then fingered the article lying out before him, folding it into sixes.

“One o’clock deadline,” he said. “This still needs tuning.” He removed his glasses and put his fingers, short and thick and freckled, to his eyes, massaging them in circles. “Take it to the tabs, Jew,” he murmured.

“You ride yourself too hard,” Abatangelo told him.

Waxman smiled wanly, finished his coffee and put his glasses back on. Away from his face, his hands shook.

“I’ve got two cats to feed,” he announced. He rose and searched his pockets for his keys.

They bid each other good night. Abatangelo, outside the cantina, watched while Waxman trudged uphill along Delores Park, brightened one moment, darkened the next, as he passed through successive wastes of lamplight. When he vanished finally into the shadowed doorway of his apartment building, Abatangelo turned away to find his car.

Steering toward home, he fidgeted with the radio and found a nightfly playing Ellington’s “The Midnight Sun Will Never Set”- winking horns, a Johnny Hodges solo insinuating flesh and romance. At Market and Church, streetlights flashed overhead in a winter mist. Derelicts and leather queens ignored the crosswalks, wandering the street in defiant oblivion. In a high lit window, a man with a sheet gathered around his neck got a midnight haircut from a woman in a red slip.

Abatangelo pictured Shel lying awake in his bed, dressed as he’d left her, in his sweatshirt and boxers. He imagined she’d be restless, staring at the walls. Probably her headaches had kept up. It still seemed a miracle of sorts she was even there.

He stopped at a corner market for another liter of Stolichnaya. Two Lebanese brothers manned the store- one scowled, the other offered a smile of dizzying falsity. Abatangelo asked the two brothers where the pay phone was, and in sudden, familial unison they pointed back toward the ice machine. He dialed his own number, preparing to apologize for not calling sooner. It rang ten times. Eleven times. Behind the register the smiling brother, mimicking a baseline fade-away, ash-canned a crumpled candy bar wrapper from ten feet.

“I not be stopped,” he shouted, fists in the air. “I am Hakeem.”

Abatangelo hung up, barged out of the grocery, threw himself behind the wheel of his car, and headed for North Beach. Don’t go off till you know there’s something to go off about, he told himself. She’s not your secretary, why would she answer your phone? She’s unplugged the damn thing. She’s asleep. He turned onto Columbus recklessly, tires catching the film of fresh oil the rain had lifted off the pavement. Abreast of The Smiling Child Market he braked so suddenly the car fishtailed across the center stripe. He nearly tagged the 30 Stockton heading downtown.

He parked and charged up the stairs. The door was locked, like he’d left it; he tried to believe that was a good sign. He opened and closed the door quietly, in case she was sleeping. Leaving the vodka in the kitchen, he continued back to the bedroom. A note rested atop the pillow on the unmade bed.

Dear Danny:

Don’t hate me, okay? I love you. I mean that. Bottom of my heart. Now and always. But there are people after me, people I don’t wish on anyone. Least of all you.

Don’t follow. You won’t find me.

– Shel

He read it twice, the paper rattling in his hands as he told himself not to panic. You won’t find me, she says. It wasn’t meant as a tease, he realized, she was trying to warn him off. But there was no way he could do as she asked. Follow? You bet. And I know just the place to start.