Sharyn McCrumb - Foggy Mountain Breakdown and Other Stories

It wasn’t easy to maneuver with the car changing speed and turning corners. Danby felt himself getting quite dizzy with the effort of concentrating as the carrier gently rocked. But finally, when the car reached the interstate and sped along smoothly, he succeeded in positioning his paw at the right place on the bar, and easing it upward. Another three minutes of tense probing allowed him to slide the bar a fraction of an inch, and then another. The bolt was now clear of the latch. There was no getting out of the car, of course. Julie had rolled up the windows, and they were going sixty miles an hour. Danby spent a full minute pondering the implications of his dilemma. But no matter which way he looked at the problem, the alternative was always the same: do something desperate or go under the knife. It wasn’t as if dying had been such a big deal, after all. There was always next time.

Quickly, before the fear could stop him, Danby hurled his furry bulk against the door of the. cat carrier, landing in the floor of the backseat with a solid thump. He sprang back up on the seat, and launched himself into the air with a heartfelt snarl, landing precariously on Julie Eskeridge’s right shoulder, and digging his claws in to keep from falling.

The last things he remembered were Julie’s screams and the feel of the car swerving out of control.

When Danby opened his eyes, the world was still playing in black-and-white. He could hear muffled voices, and smell a jumble of scents: blood, gasoline, smoke. He struggled to get up, and found that he was still less than a foot off the ground. Still furry. Still the Eskeridges’ cat. In the distance he could see the crumpled wreckage of Julie’s car.

A familiar voice was droning on above him. “He must have been thrown free of the cat carrier during the wreck, officer. That’s definitely Merlin, though. My poor wife was taking him to the vet.”

A burly policeman was standing next to Giles, nodding sympathetically. “I guess it’s true what they say about cats, sir. Having nine lives, I mean. I’m very sorry about your wife. She wasn’t so lucky.”

Giles hung his head. “No. It’s been a great strain. First my business partner disappears, and now I lose my wife.” He stooped and picked up Danby. “At least I have my beautiful kitty-cat for consolation. Come on, boy. Let’s go home.”

Danby’s malevolent yellow stare did not waver. He allowed himself to be carried away to Giles’s waiting car without protest. He could wait. Cats were good at waiting. And life with Giles wasn’t so bad, now that Julie wouldn’t be around to harass him. Danby would enjoy a spell of being doted on by an indulgent human, fed gourmet catfood, and given the run of the house. Meanwhile he could continue to leave the occasional ball on the stairs, and think of other ways to toy with Giles, while he waited to see if the police ever turned up to ask Giles about his missing partner. If not, Danby could work on more ways to kill humans. Sooner or later he would succeed. Cats are endlessly patient at stalking their prey.

“It’s just you and me, now, fella,” said Giles, placing his cat on the seat beside him.

And after he killed Giles, perhaps he could go in search of the building contractor that Giles bribed to keep his dirty secret. He certainly deserved to die. And that nasty woman Danby used to live next door to, who used to complain about his stereo and his crabgrass. And perhaps the surly headwaiter at Chantage. Stray cats can turn up anywhere.

Danby began to purr.

367 Calabria Road

Passaic, New Jersey 07055

Dear Laurie Gunsel:

I hope you don’t mind me writing to you via your publishers. It says on the book jacket that you live in the Atlanta area, but that’s a big place, so I figured this was the best way to make sure that you got my letter.

I have just finished reading your new book Bullet Proof , and I had to write and tell you how much I enjoyed it. Since finding that book, I have been looking for the rest of the Cass Cairncross detective series. I located your first book ( Dead in the Water ) in a used bookstore, and I hope to acquire first editions of all your works. In hardcover yet, which is something I don’t do for many authors.

I especially liked the scene in Bullet Proof in which Cass’s preppy boyfriend Bradley turns out to be the killer, and, as he’s attacking our heroine, he falls out the window of the apartment when he trips over Cass’s cat Diesel. Nice touch!

Anyhow, Ms. Gunsel, you do good work. So I wanted to write and tell you that you have a satisfied customer, and that I’m looking forward to Cass’s next adventure, which I’m sure you’re working on even as I write.

Here’s wishing you the best of luck and continued success.

Sincerely,

Monty Vincent

Laurie Gunsel

Mr. Monty Vincent

367 Calabria Road

Passaic, New Jersey 07055

Dear Mr. Vincent:

Thank you very much for your kind letter about my books. It’s always nice to hear from readers. It’s nice to have readers.

I’m glad you liked Bullet Proof . It’s one of my favorites, not only because it went book club, but also because I got some rage out of my system toward an old… acquaintance, shall we say? I don’t think libel comes into it, because unfortunately, he didn’t trip over a cat and fall out a window. But I certainly enjoyed writing the scene and picturing him taking the plunge. Getting paid for it was just a bonus.

Thanks again for writing!

Feloniously yours,

Laurie Gunsel

367 Calabria Road

Passaic, New Jersey 07055

Dear Laurie Gunsel:

I can’t tell you what a kick it was to get your letter! Wow! A busy lady like yourself answering fan mail. I’m amazed.

Since I last wrote, I’ve finished the superb Dead in the Water and started The Gang’s All Here , in which the intrepid Cass goes up against the Mafia on Martha’s Vineyard. An interesting choice of locales, and, having never been there myself, I certainly enjoyed all the New England seaside ambiance with which you highlighted your story. I’d never have thought to set a Mafia story on Martha’s Vineyard. What creativity and contrast! A great read.

A question, though: in the scene in which Enzio Lombardi is pushed out of the lobster boat by Sewell, gets entangled in the lobster traps, and is left to drown and be eaten by lobsters, I thought I detected a note of satisfaction-dare I say glee? -in the narration, which would be the voice of you personally, I gather. So then I had to wonder. I went back and looked at the window scene in Bullet Proof again, and, to my unliterary eye, there seems to be a marked resemblance between the preppy boyfriend in that book and Enzio the mob guy in The Gang’s All Here . They don’t look alike, but I notice that they’re both “pretentious” dressers and that they have prominent ears. An interesting coincidence, I say to myself. Either the talented Ms. Gunsel has a thing about ears, or else we are seeing the same guy meet his demise yet again. So I decided to presume upon your good nature and ask.

Congratulations on making the B. Dalton bestseller list. I noticed your name on the list on my last visit to the mall, and cheered you silently as I passed the mystery section.

Sincerely yours,

Monty Vincent

Laurie Gunsel

Mr. Monty Vincent

367 Calabria Road

Passaic, New Jersey 07055

Dear Mr. Vincent:

Thanks for writing. I’m glad the Cass Cairncross series has kept you interested. I’m fond of her myself. After all, I suppose she makes my house payments. She’s certainly fictional (I should be so sylphlike!) but at times, she seems quite real-like a roommate who has gone on vacation, but may be back any time now. Not that I’ve ever had a roommate-not another woman, that is. And judging from my one unfortunate experience with a live-in guy, maybe I’ll just stick to cats. Diesel is quite agreeable, and never wants to watch pro football when Murphy Brown is on, so we get along fine. I wonder if Cass would be a good roommate. She’s obsessively neat, and having a detective around the house would certainly diminish one’s privacy.