Gail Bowen - One Fine Day You’re Gonna Die

“Gabe, listen to me. You’ve got everyone here in a panic, but I know you’re faking. Don’t play along, Charlie D.”

I attempt to clear the air. “Gabe, this is a high-stakes game, so I need you to tell me the truth. Are you planning to commit suicide?”

“I prefer to think of it as exiting on my own terms,” he says.

There’s a hopelessness in his voice that I recognize.

“Let’s rethink this, Gabe,” I say. “I’ve been where you are, standing so close to the Gate of Hell I could read the inscription over the entrance.”

“‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.’” Gabe supplies the passage from Dante’s Inferno . “One of life’s nastier surprises is that even our suffering is not unique.”

Dr. Harris cannot contain her impatience.

“Gabe, you’re an adult. Whether you choose to end your life is your decision. I’ve lost track of the number of times you’ve threatened suicide. You’re like the boy who cried wolf.”

“Ah, but one day, there really was a wolf, and he ate the boy. My wolf is a vial of saxi-toxin. It takes so little-there’s more than enough here for both of us. Just a pinprick from the hypodermic and, within seconds, oblivion. Would you like to say goodbye, my dark star?”

Robin spits out her response.

“To you? I don’t think so. I’ve already said goodbye to you a hundred times. You never get the message.”

Gabe sounds weary.

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to say goodbye to your daughter.”

“What?” For the first time since she walked into the studio, cracks appear in Robin Harris’s facade. “What are you talking about, Gabe?”

“You never quite hear me, do you, my dark star? I simply asked if you wanted to say goodbye to Kali?”

Robin’s eyes are wide with fear.

“What are you talking about? You know I wouldn’t let you anywhere near my daughter.”

“Too late, Robin. She’s here with me now.”

“You’re lying. I talked to Kali two hours ago. Her nanny had just given her a bath and tucked her in.”

“And Kali was wearing her new pajamas- the ones I bought her for Halloween-but why don’t I let Kali tell you about them.”

As she describes her new pajamas, Kali’s voice is as tuneful as a well-played flute.

“ You were gone before Gabe came, Mummy. The pajamas he gave me are dark blue and they’re covered in moons and stars…and when the lights go out, the moons and stars glow in the dark.”

Dr. Robin Harris seems to crumple before me.

“That’s her voice,” she says. “Oh my god, Gabe has my daughter.”

For the first seconds after she hears that her six-year-old is with Gabe, Dr. Harris looks as if she’s been sucker-punched. But she’s a champ, and she comes out swinging. She pulls her microphone closer, a rookie mistake but-given the circumstances-understandable. I reach over and adjust it.

“How did you get her, Gabe?” she asks. She makes no attempt to disguise the hostility in her voice. Both Robin’s tone and her question surprise me. I thought her first concern would be Kali’s safety. But it’s not. Dr. Harris obviously sees Gabe’s possession of her daughter as a kind of power play.

“What did you promise Inge?” she asks. “She would never simply hand Kali over to you. She’s been my nanny since Kali was born.”

“Which means she has seen how deeply I love you both,” Gabe says quietly. “Inge and I talk all the time. She’s been concerned about this rift between you and me. I wish you could have seen her face when I told her the estrangement was over.”

“She believed you?” Robin says.

“She was ecstatic,” Gabe says. “We were all ecstatic, weren’t we, Kali? Kali and I were so happy that we decided to let Inge go to a Halloween party she was invited to and have an adventure of our own.”

“Gabe, I need to talk to my daughter.”

“When you’re angry, all the music goes from your voice, Robin. Mummy’s a little upset, Kali. You can say hi to her, but remember we can’t tell her where we are. That’s a secret.”

“Hi, Mummy,” Kali says. She is at the center of this drama, but her voice is bubbly and unconcerned. “Gabe bought me a new game of Candy Land. We played it up at the lake, ’member?”

Robin’s tone is urgent.

“Listen to me, Kali. You have to get away from Gabe. Start screaming and run.”

There’s a bell-like sound in the background on Gabe’s end of the line. I raise a finger and mouth the word listen to Robin. She furrows her brow in concentration but shakes her head. She can’t identify what we’re hearing.

Gabe comes back on the line.

“ My turn to talk, Kali,” he says. “Mummy doesn’t understand that we’re playing two games tonight. You and I are playing Candy Land, and all of us are playing hide and seek. Mummy is It. It’s not fair for the person who’s It to tell us to scream and run, because as soon as she finds us, the game is over.”

Robin’s composure shatters.

“Gabe, please…”

“ Your voice is full of music again,” Gabe says. “I’ve never been able to resist your music. Kali wants us to sing a song for you. I want to do that too. We want you to remember how much we loved you.”

Suddenly I know this isn’t a game. This is for real.

“Gabe, you’re not going to-”

He cuts me off. “Kali, let’s sing for Mummy.”

Gabe’s voice is a pleasant tenor, and Kali’s little girl voice is fresh and tuneful. They sing a duet: “You Are My Sunshine.” By the time they finish, Nova is in tears, and my throat is thick. Robin is frantic.

“Kali, listen to me,” she says. “This isn’t a game. Gabe isn’t your friend. He’s going to hurt you. You have to get away.”

“She can’t hear you, Robin,” Gabe says. “I have the phone, and you won’t be talking to Kali anymore because you cheat. You don’t play by the rules. I’m not surprised but I am disappointed. I had hoped that perhaps since this was the last time the three of us would be together…”

My heart is pounding. I can barely form the words.

“Gabe, don’t kill that little girl.”

“Trust me, Charlie,” he says gently. “It’s for the best.”

“How can killing a six-year-old child be ‘for the best’?”

Gabe sounds very tired . “There are circumstances…”

I find myself shouting .

“What circumstances could possibly justify taking a child’s life?”

“There aren’t any.” Robin’s voice is fervent. “Gabe, stop this. I want my daughter. I won’t press charges. I give you my word.”

“Even the music in your voice won’t sway me this time, my dark star. There’ve been too many words, and I remember them all- especially the ones at the end. You told me I ‘no longer meet your needs.’ I wept, but your eyes, ‘those silent tongues of love’ Cervantes wrote about, were cold. You were my whole existence, Robin.”

“People fall out of love,” Robin says tightly.

“I didn’t,” Gabe says. “When I promised to love you till the day I died, I meant it. In less than half an hour my birthday and my life will be over. I will die loving you, and that, my beloved, is a great gift.”