Ellery Queen - Cop Out

“No? You’re putting me on.”

“I don’t get any of this.”

“You want I should spell it out? What you do, cop, is you hold this for us. Like you’re a bank.”

Malone tried to look stupid.

“You still don’t get it,” Furia said. “We drew a real dumb one, Hinch, a dummy town cop.”

Hinch heehawed.

“Okay, dummy, listen good,” Furia said. “With the bread on us we can’t get through the roadblocks. Without it we can. They’ll have no reason to handle us different from anybody else. Specially seeing there’s going to be four of us in the car.”

“Four of you,” Malone said. His mouth was sticky. “I thought there were three.”

“Four,” Furia said. “Me, Hinch, Goldie, and your kid. Only she’ll be Goldie’s. Her mama, like.”

“No,” Ellen said. ‘Wo.”

“Yeah,” Furia said. “Your kid’s our receipt for the loot. All clear?”

“It’s taking chances,” Malone said carefully. “Suppose one of the officers recognizes her when you’re stopped? This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody. That blows it.”

“You better pray it don’t. Can you pray?”

“Yes,” Malone said. He wondered if it was true. He had not been inside a church since his confirmation. Ellen took Barbara every Sunday to the second mass, she’s not going to grow up a heathen like you, Loney Baloney, you’re a cross he has to bear Father Weil says.

“They tell me it helps,” Furia said. One of the eyes in the bear mask winked. “All clear now?”

“All clear,” Malone said.

“It better be. You try any cop stuff, dummy, or your missus there sets up a squawk, and the kid gets it through the head. Be a nice dummy and keep your old lady’s yap shut and you get the kid back with her noggin in one piece. It’s that simple.”

Ellen’s eyes were scurrying about and Malone said, “Ellen.”

“I won’t. They can’t!”

“They can and you will. We have no choice, honey.”

“You listen to your papa, honey,” Furia said. “He’s a smart dummy.”

“How do we know they’ll keep their word?” Ellen screamed. “You know what you’ve always said about kidnapers, Loney!”

“This isn’t a kidnaping except technically. All they want is to hold Bibby as security till they can get the payroll back.”

“We’ll never see her again.”

“They’ll keep their word,” Malone said. “Or they’ll never see this money again. I’ll make sure of that.” He said to Furia, “All right, we have a deal. But now you listen to me and you listen good.”

“Yeah?” Furia said.

“You hurt my daughter and I’ll hunt you down and cut you to pieces. If it takes the rest of my life. You, and this goon, and that woman upstairs.”

A growl behind him. “Fure, let me. Let me.”

“You close your goddam mouth, Hinch!” Furia shouted. He jumped up and sprang forward, eyes in the wrinkled mask boiling. “I ought to knock you off right now, cop, you know that?”

“You need me,” Malone said. He tried not to swallow.

“I ain’t going to need you forever. Nobody talks to me like that. But nobody!”

“Remember what I said.”

Their eyes locked. I could jump him now. And get a bullet in my back from the goon. And leave Ellen and Bibby to their mercy. Malone looked away.

“Goldie!” Furia yelled.

A woman’s voice from upstairs said, “Yes, Fure.”

“Wake the kid up and get her dressed!”

“Let me,” Ellen whimpered. “Please? She’ll be so scared.”

“Let her,” Malone said. “She’s not going to try anything.”

“She damn well better not.” Furia waved the Colt. Ellen jumped to her feet and ran up the stairs.

Furia sat himself down on the rocker. The Colt was aimed at Malone’s navel. He’d love to pull that trigger. He’d pull, not squeeze. He’s kill-crazy. Malone looked down at his own hands. They were gripping the edge of the sofa so hard the knuckles resembled dead bone. He put his hands on the black bag.

They appeared at the top of the stairs, Ellen clutching Barbara’s hand, the woman strolling behind them. The woman was wearing a mask, too. Through the mouth slit she was smoking a goldtipped cigaret. That was all Malone saw of her.

He said with a smile, “Baby. Come down here.”

She was still sleepy. Ellen had dressed her in her best outfit, the red corduroy dress, the patent leather shoes, the blue wool coat and hat.

“Have you told her anything, Ellen?”

“What could I tell her?” Ellen said. “What?”

“Are we going someplace, daddy?” Bibby asked.

He set the black bag on the sofa and took her on his lap. “Bibby, are you all waked up?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Will you listen to me very, very hard?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“These people are going to take you somewhere in a car. You’re to go with them like a good girl.”

“Aren’t you and mommy going, too?”

“No, baby.”

“Then why do I have to go?”

“I can’t explain now. Let’s say it’s because I ask you to.”

Her lips began to quiver. “I don’t like them. Why are they wearing those masks? They’re hor’ble.”

“Oh, they’re just pretending something.”

“They have guns. They’ll hurt me.”

“I have a gun and I’ve never hurt you, have I?”

“No, daddy… “

“Come on,” Furia said. “Time’s up, like the screws say.”

“Wait a minute, Fure,” the woman said. “Let him explain it to his little girl.”

“They won’t hurt you, Bibby. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“No… “

“Remember, they won’t hurt you. And you do whatever they tell you, Bibby. Whatever. You may even have to pretend, too, the way you did in the school play.”

“Pretend what?” Barbara asked in an interested voice.

“Well, the chances are some policemen are going to stop the car. If they do you make believe you’re sleeping in the lady’s lap. If they wake you up and ask you questions, just say the lady is your mama and that’s all.”

“My mama? That lady?” She looked at her mother. Her mother looked at her.

“It’s just pretend, baby. Do you understand?”

“I understand, but not whyT

“Some day I’ll explain the whole thing to you. But for now you’ve got to promise me you’ll do whatever they say. Promos? ise:

“All right. When will they bring me back?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A day, maybe two.”

“Well,” Barbara said. “I don’t like to, but I guess I will. Goodbye, daddy.” She held her face up to be kissed. Valentine face. He kissed it. She jumped off his lap and ran to her mother.

Ellen held on to her.

“Okay, okay,” Furia said. Malone could have sworn he was grinning under the mask. “Let’s get the show on the road, like they say.”

“Ellen,” Malone said.

The woman walked over and pulled Barbara from Ellen’s clutch. Sexy figure, flashy getup, hard voice-maybe late twenties, though it was hard to tell without a face to go by. And brains, she’s the brains. I know her from somewhere. I’ve heard that voice before. A long time ago.

“Come on, honey,” the woman said. “We’ll have just buckets of fun.” She took Barbara’s hand. “Fure. It won’t hurt to buy insurance. With Barbara in the car, and you and her and me making like one happy family, it will look better if Hinch isn’t with us. That getup of his doesn’t go with the act.”

“What, what?” Hinch said.

“Goldie’s right,” Furia said. “You hoof it, Hinch. You can cut off that main road into the woods somewheres and stand a good chance of not even being stopped. If they stop you, so what? One guy on the hitch. Stow your mask in the car. Also the heater-I’ll drop it in the river before we get to the checkpoint. We’ll meet you at the shack.”