Tarquin Hall - The Case of the Missing Servant

By the time they pulled up in front of the gates and Handbrake honked the horn, he felt that the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders-the weight he'd become so used to-had vanished.

Like millions of other Hindu, Sikh and Jain households across India, every inch of Puri's house had been cleaned ahead of Diwali. In the kitchen, all the cupboards had been emptied and the shelves wiped down. The marble floors had been scrubbed and scrubbed again. Dusters had swished away cobwebs. Special lemon and vinegar soap had left all the taps, sinks and mirrors gleaming. And all the wood in the house had been lovingly polished.

The exterior wall that surrounded the compound had been whitewashed and a cracked tile on the porch replaced.

Rumpi had also been busy making preparations for entertaining all the family members and friends who were expected to visit them over the next few days.

Gift boxes of dried fruit, almonds, cashews and burfi had been packed and wrapped, and then stacked in one corner of the kitchen. Monica and Malika had been preparing huge pots of chhole and carrot halva, and deep frying batches of onion and paneer pakoras. And Sweetu had been sent to the market to buy bagfuls of "perfect ice," savoury matthis and oil for the diyas.

Puri's remit (he knew it only too well but Rumpi reminded him more than once) was to buy all the liquor, firecrackers and puja offerings-in the form of coconuts, bananas and incense-that would be made to Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth.

It was also his responsibility to pick up new decks of playing cards and some poker chips. No Punjabi Diwali could be complete without a bit of friendly gambling. And if this holiday was anything like last year's, they were in for at least one all-night session of teen patta.

After dropping Radhika at home, Puri went to the nearest market. He found it packed with people rushing around buying last-minute items. The shops were decked with colored lights and tinsel decorations. Devotional music blared from the temples. Every few seconds, bottle rockets whizzed and exploded overhead.

He returned after dark to find Rinku's Range Rover-license plate 1CY-parked in the driveway.

Before entering the house, Puri gave Handbrake his Diwali bonus and enough money to get an auto to Old Delhi railway station. By mid-morning the following day, he would be home with his wife and baby daughter in their village in the hills of Himachal.

"Thank you, sir," said the driver, beaming with happiness. "But, sir, one thing you promised me. The first rule of detection. What is it?"

Puri smiled. "Ah yes, the first rule," replied the detective. "It is quite simple, actually. Always make sure you have a good aloo parantha for breakfast. Thinking requires a full stomach. Now you'd better be off."

Puri saw Handbrake to the gate and made his way inside the house.

"So we've got out first visitor, is it?" he shouted as he stepped into the hallway.

He found Rumpi, Mummy and Radhika sitting with Rinku having tea and sharing platefuls of pakoras.

"Happy Diwali, Chubby!" Rinku said, greeting Puri with a hug and the usual matey slap on the back.

"You too, you bugger. Let me fix you something stronger."

"No, no, I've got to be off," said Rinku. "The traffic to Punjabi Bagh will be murder."

"Just one peg! Come on!" insisted Puri.

"OK, just one," replied Rinku who never needed much convincing when alcohol was on offer. "But you're going to get me into trouble."

"Then we'll be even!"

The detective poured both Rinku and himself generous glasses of Scotch, and soon they were telling Sardaar-ji jokes and splitting their sides with laughter.

Forty minutes and several more pegs later, Rinku stood to leave.

"Baby Auntie, have you seen my car?" he asked Mummy, his eyes twinkling.

"No, I must see what everyone is talking about," she answered, gamely. "Just I'll fetch my shawl. Such cold weather we're having, na?"

Rinku said good-bye to the rest of the family at the door and he and Mummy stepped outside.

"I've taken care of Chubby's little problem," he said in a hushed voice as they walked over to his Range Rover. "Those two gentlemen won't be troubling him again."

"I heard Inspector Inderjit Singh is suspended pending an inquiry into illegal activities," said Mummy.

"And it seems his friend has dropped plans for building a new office block," added Rinku.

"Just they're saying the market is doing slowdown, so it is best, na," said Mummy.

Rinku stooped down to touch her feet and wished her a happy Diwali.

"You too," she said. "And, thank you, beta. I'm very much appreciative."

She waved him off and returned to the house.

"What were you two talking about, Mummy-ji?" asked Puri, who had been watching them closely from the doorway. "It can't be such a long chat about a car?"

"Just I've been discussing one investment proposition."

"With Rinku?" The detective laughed. "What's he trying to sell you? The President's Palace?"

"Don't do sarcasm, Chubby. Rinku has given me one hot tip. Just some land is coming up and we're in discussion."

"You watch your back, Mummy-ji. He's a slippery fellow," said the detective, closing the door behind them.

"Oh, Chubby, when will you learn, na? Just I can take care of myself. Now, come. Let's play cards. Tonight I'm feeling very much lucky!"

AACHAR a pickle. Most commonly made of carrot, lime, garlic, cauliflower, chili or unripe mango cooked in mustard oil and spices.

"ACCHA" Hindi for "OK," "good" or "got it."

ADIVASI literally "original inhabitants." These Indian tribals comprise a substantial indigenous minority of the population of India.

AGRAWAL a community in India, traditionally traders.

ALOO PARANTHA flat Indian wheat bread stuffed with a potato and spice mixture, pan-fried and served with yogurt and pickle. Often eaten for breakfast.

ANGREZ Hindi for "English" or "British." Also means "Englishman" or "Britisher." Angrez noun, Angrezi adjective.

ASHRAMASthe four phases of a Hindu's life.

AUTO short for autorickshaw, a three-wheeled taxi that runs on a two-stroke engine.

AYAH a domestic servant role that combines the functions of maid and nanny.

"AY BHAI" Hindi for "hey, brother."

BAGHA-CHALL a strategic, two-player board game that originates in Nepal. The game is asymmetric in that one player controls four tigers and the other player controls up to twenty goats. The tigers "hunt" the goats while the goats attempt to block the tigers" movements.

"BHAANCHHOD" Punjabi expletive meaning "sister fucker."

BABA father.

BABU a bureaucrat or other government official.

"BADIYA" Urdu word for "wonderful," "great."

BAKSHISH a term used to describe tipping, charitable giving and bribery.

BAHU daughter-in-law.

BALTI a bucket.

BANIA a trader or merchant belonging to the Indian business class.

BARSAATI from barsaat , meaning rain. A barsaati is a room at the top of the house used for storage or servant's quarters that bears the brunt of the falling rain. Today, barsaatis in posh Delhi neighborhoods rent for hundreds of dollars per month.

BASTIS colonies of makeshift houses for the poor.

BATCHMATES students who attended the same school, college, or military or administrative academy.

BETA "son," or "child," used in endearment.