Tony Black - Long Time Dead

‘Yes, I understand.’

‘Do you, I mean do you really?… Gillian Laird is a very wealthy woman, she has influence and she has power, and that combination greases a lot of wheels in this town, Joey Boy.’

He scratched his head, turning that lank hair of his behind his ear again. ‘I just don’t see what I can do. I mean, I’ve told you all I know… I just work here. I’m not privy to every aspect of human interaction that takes place, I’m just a lecturer! I mean, what do you want me to say?’

He’d said plenty.

I could see Calder wasn’t for caving on this first meet, but he’d said enough to let me know there was far more in the tank. He had something to say, and he’d be saying it, even if it had to be dragged out of him. I planned to stick around, keep a close eye on him. Knew he wouldn’t like that, but fuck him, he wasn’t the one with the hands on the levers. Said, ‘Gillian tells me she sits on the recruitment board.’

He turned down his mouth. ‘I think so… yes.’

‘Say you were to appoint a new janitor… what would be the recruitment process?’

‘A new janitor ?’

‘Well, let’s skip the interview and CV and that… I fancy getting closer to the action – maybe we could just pretend I was the new janitor.’

He flustered. ‘That would be irregular, to say the very least.’

I bolded it: ‘And fucking murder isn’t?’

Calder closed his mouth. I watched his Adam’s apple rise slowly as he swallowed what looked like objections.

‘How about you go hunt out one of those dustcoats for me, Joey Boy.’

HOD HAD SEEN FIT TO warn me about keeping the course. Staying on track. By that he meant: off the sauce. If he thought he had any sway with me on matters of general inebriation, my daily state, he was deluded. Knew he understood that he carried no such weight at all. Hod, for all the heart in him, had a hard enough head to take reality as it comes. Which, truth told, scared the shit out of me.

I’d never seen the bloke so down on his luck; Hod was the archetypal hunter-gatherer. A survivor. Seeing his life unravel like this was a heartscald. Worse, being his only hope just turned the knife in me. This was about as close to a volte-face as you could get – Hod was usually the one bailing out my arse. If it wasn’t buying the Holy Wall off me, it was subbing me the readies to take Debs down the aisle… and putting me up when our marriage hit the skids. Hod had pulled me through a few scrapes – it played heavy on my conscience at the best of times – but I’d never countenanced the possibility that I’d be asked to pay him back. Bastard picked his moments. There were times when I was together, stable, in the neighbourhood of happy, even. Christ, I’d had a gym membership once. But right now, at this particular point in time, I was about as lost as lost gets. If I could manage to keep myself together long enough to see the week out I’d be doing well. Felt a shiver run through me. A black crow swooped on the pavement, cawed. In a second it was off, vanished. Wondered if I’d seen it at all.

I schlepped past the Cameo, took myself into Victoria Wine and got in some essentials.

‘Half Grouse, half Black Heart,’ I said.

Young girl on the counter smiled; was a wry, pitying smile. Made my heart flutter, don’t know why. Was well past hitting on chicks. That required far too much energy – something that was in very short supply right now.

‘Anything else?’ She wore an Avengers T-shirt, retro-style, covering quite a set too.

My mind played a trick on me, said, ‘You know any good coffee shops around here?’

She blushed, thought I was gonna ask her for a date. ‘Erm, well… there’s the big Costa.’ She couldn’t keep eyes on me now, ran fingers through her black hair, tucked some behind her ear. God, I felt stupid… what was I thinking?

‘Okay, cheers… will give it a look.’

She turned to the till. Put that sympathy smile on again.

‘That’ll be-’

I cut in, ‘Oh, better give me forty Marlboro, too.’

‘No worries.’

She bagged the lot and I hoofed it up the street, cringing.

You spend your days alone, drinking – hard-core drinking – the finer points of human interaction become lost to you. I’d jettisoned all small chat long ago. If there was ever a store of pleasantries, nodding-dog patter, or plain-old mannered chit-chat… I’d bumped it. What I did have was a mine of rants. Bitter? Me? Christ on the Holy Cross… was I ever. Funny thing was, I’d never really bothered about it before now. I dredged up a line from some fucking daytime TV agony aunt or uncle: ‘Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can bounce back.’ Had I fallen so low? The bottom of the pit couldn’t be that far away; whether I’d bounce when I hit it, though, that was the question. Way I felt right now, figured I’d just keep on falling straight through to the flames of hell.

Shook myself out of self-pity for long enough to order up a coffee in the big Costa. I saw what the chick in the offie meant, nice place indeed; but then, when you’ve driven every other coffee house within a country mile out of business, you can afford to be.

‘What can I get you, sir?’ said a lanky yoof, hefty bouffant giving off a bit of a New Romantic vibe there.

‘Coffee.’

A sigh. Was that a sigh? Surely not.

‘Hmm, we have latte, cappuccino, espresso-’

I held up a hand. ‘Whoa-whoa… spare me, eh? One white coffee, call it whatever you like, Prince Charming.’

He twisted his head, stuck out his neck like a giraffe going for low leaves. ‘What did you call me?’

‘Look, you have to remember… ridicule is nothing to be scared of!’

Handed over the cash, took a seat.

Was firing up the mobi contacts when the coffee came. Got it just about thrown at me, could see there being a gob or two in there. Like I gave a shit, took a sip and topped the lot up with my half-bottle of scoosh.

Found the number I was after. Wondered would it still be in use, figured it should, it hadn’t been that long since I’d spoken to Amy. With a bit of luck she’d be in the neighbourhood – her flat was around here – we needed to talk. Knew it would be the kind of conversation Hod wouldn’t approve of, but then he wasn’t running this show. Figured I could keep Amy’s involvement under the radar for a wee while at least until she’d proved useful… providing I could persuade her to help out that was.

Ringing.

A tightening in my chest – what was that? Conscience? Maybe. Perhaps Hod was right about keeping her out of this – the way she attracted trouble to herself. I needed the girl’s help, though. Told myself I’d keep a closer eye on her this time. Not let her get worked up with any radge ideas. That would do… surely.

Ringing.

‘Hello?’

She’d obviously cut me out of her contacts.

Said, ‘Hello, Amy.’

‘Gus… what in the fuck?’

I smiled into the phone. ‘Well, that’s quite the welcome.’

Got a laugh. It was a start.

‘Hey, if there’s one person I didn’t expect to hear from again, it’s your bold self… How’s it hanging, auld yin?’

This girl, I tell you, she had some moves.

‘To the left, yeah, that’d be right… Yerself?’

‘Just fucking peachy… Really good to hear from you, by the by, really good.’

Well, this was going all right… maybe a bit too well.

‘Look, reason I’m calling, Amy, is… well, I was wondering if you were about today?’

‘About? As in out and about?’

‘Yeah, y’know… for a chat.’

Silence on the line. Was that cogs turning? Had our Amy grown up a bit? Learned her lesson from hanging with me? I let the quiet gap stretch out, then heard: ‘A chat?’