Kate Carlisle - One Book In The Grave

Despite my aches and bumps and bruises, the walk might have been tolerable if it weren’t for Minka. She bitched and ranted and shrieked at every brush of a tree branch against her, every root she lurched over, every bush she bumped against. All I could hear was her angry voice as she seethed and fumed, mainly about me. She refused to take responsibility for her own paranoid actions that led to her being kidnapped by Crystal Byers. No, it was all my fault. I was the Death Zone. Disaster loomed all around me. Beware to anyone who stepped within my Circle of Doom.

Derek hugged me close as Minka vowed loudly and repeatedly never to come within a thousand yards of me again.

Oh, if only she meant it. Honestly, what had I done to deserve being stalked by bloodletting survivalists and Minka LaBoeuf?

Two weeks later, my living room was cleansed and purified of all lingering dead-body vibes and their associated cooties. My bookshelves arrived and we assembled them during a party that I’d actually planned. We all had much more fun than at the previous impromptu gathering, the one ruined by that party-crashing zombie Angelica.

Mom reported that the dust had finally settled in Dharma and the survivalists had crawled back into their Hollow. Of course, the whole town would be dining on the gossip stirred up by Solomon and the Byers sisters for the next two years.

Emily had recovered fully from her kidnapping ordeal. She and Max had traveled back and forth to the Cleveland Clinic, where her father was responding positively to the latest round of drug therapy. Emily was hopeful that he would be able to come home in the next month or so, in time for the wedding.

Crystal and Melody Byers were in jail. And if there was a God in heaven, the sisters would be wearing matching orange jumpsuits for a long, long time.

At the farmers’ market in Dharma, all the local Ogunites were out in force, collecting money for the Byers Sisters Defense Fund. All of them, that was, except Mary Ellen Prescott, the manicurist who was only now proclaiming loudly that she always suspected that the sisters had murderous intentions.

Solomon had been held for questioning in Joe Taylor’s murder, but a clue emerged that proved Angelica had been there on the day Joe was killed. Two of her long, curly hairs were found, one trapped in the screen door leading to the alley behind the store, and one on the back of the blue chair in the antiquarian room.

Solomon and his lawyer did everything they could to blame Angelica in the harassment and attempted-murder charges Max had pressed. The he said/she said strategy appeared to be working, and Solomon was eventually released.

I was no longer certain that Solomon was a psychopath, but he was a ruthless bully and a manipulator. The one bright light was that Inspector Lee had taken such an instant dislike to Solomon that she was determined to work like a bloodhound tracking down enough evidence to send him to prison. Several weeks later, Lee’s efforts came to fruition when she found an eyewitness who had seen Solomon rigging Max’s staircase a few hours before Emily’s mother arrived and was hurt so badly. With any luck, more witnesses would be found and Solomon would end up spending a few years behind bars after all.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon when Derek and I traveled back to Dharma for the official reengagement party for Max and Emily.

I’d invited everyone who had anything to do with the odd adventure we’d been through recently. Gabriel, Ian, all my neighbors. Even Mary Ellen Prescott, but only because she’d seen right through the Byers sisters’ perky-blond facade.

The party was held on my parents’ terrace and even Guru Bob was in attendance. We’d had a little talk beforehand that had left me with more questions than answers. But I would think about that later. Now it was time to party. The champagne was flowing and Savannah had catered the affair, so the food was spectacular.

I left Derek talking with Dad and Austin, and went to find Emily. She looked adorable in a pink dress with striped white and green piping around the waist, neck, and cuffs.

After we greeted each other with a tight hug, I said, “Emily, you look so beautiful.”

“Thanks.” She blushed and moved closer to whisper, “Your mother suggested a quick trip to the Laughing Goat sweat lodge and I think it worked wonders.”

I tried not to roll my eyes as I backed away to scrutinize her more intently. “Mom swears by their fifteen-point detoxification program, and I have to admit it’s definitely working for you.”

I didn’t care how refreshed Emily appeared; I wasn’t about to slather myself in curried ghee and huddle inside a sweat lodge for a week. Mom swore by a lot of things I wouldn’t dream of taking her up on, including cosmic bilocation, espresso enemas, and gandoosha. Don’t ask.

I was all for a healthy complexion, but I was just as happy to leave the purging and gargling to Mom.

Emily told me she’d already found a new job teaching second graders in Marin County. She would start after the winter break, when she would move into Max’s farmhouse in the hills above Point Reyes Station.

“I’m there every weekend now,” she said.

“So you and Clyde?”

“We’re like this,” she said, holding up her crossed fingers. We both laughed.

“And how do you like the goats?”

“I love them,” she gushed. “And Max has created a new goat-cheese blend in my honor.”

“Ooh, what’s in it?”

“It’s a blend of sweet goat cheese, chocolate, and raspberries. It sold out the first day he took it into town.”

“Mm. I hope I can taste it someday soon.”

“You will.” She gave me a bashful look and added, “He calls the concoction Beauty and the Beast.”

“Aww,” we said in unison, then laughed together.

I hugged her once more, promised that Derek and I would come to Point Reyes for a weekend soon, and left her to mingle.

There were so many people I wanted to talk to, but none more than my best pal, Robin, who was currently negotiating to sell her Noe Valley flat in the city in anticipation of moving back to Dharma to live with my brother Austin.

We hugged, then stood yakking excitedly with our arms around each other. I’d known her since the first day my family arrived in Dharma, and we were still inseparable whenever possible.

She let me know how happy she was with Austin, and I gave her the quickie version of the Max Adams scandal. Then she laughed when I told her that Guru Bob had suggested I was destined to remain a Nemesis, seeking vengeance and justice for the dead.

“Why are you laughing?” I whined. “It isn’t funny.”

“I’m laughing with you,” she assured me, and squeezed my arm. “Look, I never would have survived the murder in my apartment if not for you and Derek. And then I found Austin, and my life is so full now. I’m happy, Brooklyn, and it’s all your fault.”

“Okay, I’ll gladly take responsibility for you being happy.” Robin had been in love with Austin since we were in third grade.

“Good,” she said with an affectionate bump of her head against mine. “And now that you’ve worked your magic for Max and Emily, you can’t quit now.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

Robin chuckled again, and I let it go. I was fine with the happily-ever-after part of the equation. It was just the part about tripping over dead bodies-or having them delivered to my door-that tended to get me down.

We both used up another tissue as we watched Austin and Max in close conversation. They had reunited briefly the night Emily was kidnapped, but this was the first chance they’d had to talk. The two had been best friends growing up and Austin had mourned Max’s death as deeply as any of us. I held my breath when it looked like Austin might punch Max in the stomach, but instead he punched his arm, then grabbed him in a tight bear hug that had everyone sniffling a little.