Kate Carlisle - One Book In The Grave

“I followed Ian over here. I was sure he was up to no good.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Ew. What a slob. “When he left just now, he let this delivery guy in, so now I’ve caught you in a lie you can’t slither out of.”

“How’d you get into the building?”

“Your front door takes forever to close, so I got in after him.”

“Well, get out.”

Suzie moved in closer and Minka cringed. Good. Suzie looked a lot tougher than she was, but at times like this, flexing some muscle couldn’t hurt.

“I’m not leaving until I get some of the books Ian delivered to you.”

“What books?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.” She flicked her chin toward the delivery guy. “You’ve got that whole big box of books to restore. I want some.”

“Oh, my God,” I muttered. “You are deranged.”

“Right here okay?” the deliveryman asked.

I whipped around and saw he was standing right where I’d showed him. “Perfect. Thanks.”

“These are the bookshelves you ordered last week?” Vinnie asked. “Can we see them?”

“Yes,” I said, shifting away from Minka. “They’re a really nice oak and they’re going to go on this wall. What do you think?”

“Perfect,” Vinnie said.

“Cool,” Suzie said. “I like books everywhere.”

We watched the deliveryman maneuver the box off the dolly inch by inch; then he held one end and carefully laid it down on the floor. “There you go.”

“Anybody home?” someone bellowed from my front door.

I jolted. Yet another person was at my door?

But Vinnie smiled and said, “It’s Jeremy and Sergio.”

More fun neighbors.

“Come in,” I shouted in the general direction of the front door. “Close the door behind you, please.”

“A party on a Wednesday afternoon-how delicious,” Jeremy said as he hugged me. Then he gazed beyond me toward the kitchen. “Ooh, cookies.”

“Bring the plate over,” I said.

Jeremy went after the cookies, and his boyfriend, Sergio, grabbed me. “Hi, cutie.”

“Hi, Sergio,” I said, patting his back. “How are you?”

“Fabuloso, as always.”

“Brooklyn, darling, are we having a party?”

“Derek?” I spotted him coming through the hall and into the living room. “You’re home early.”

“A good thing, apparently,” he said, kissing me firmly, then wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “I do hate to miss a party.”

Minka shoved me again. “I don’t care if you’re having a party. I want answers. And I want my share of the Covington work.”

I turned on her. “They’re not books, Minka. They’re book shelves . I ordered them a week ago.” I realized I was yelling but I couldn’t help it. She was a delusional moron with a left jab that could land you in the hospital.

“Liar!” she cried.

“Oh, my God.” I grabbed my own hair to keep from strangling her. “You’re a lunatic and you’re trespassing. Now leave before I call the police.”

“Hello, Derek,” Vinnie said brightly, ignoring the commotion.

“Vinnie,” he said, giving her a hug as he observed my less-than-amusing tête-à-tête with Minka. “How are you?”

“Very well, thank you.”

“Sign for this?” The deliveryman shoved a clipboard in front of me. A pen was taped to the steel clip.

“Sure.” I signed my name and he tore off a receipt and handed it to me. Then he turned the dolly around and took off for the door.

“Thank you,” I called after him. I heard my front door slam shut and felt momentarily relieved until I realized Minka was still there.

“Cookie?” Jeremy said, holding the plate out.

“Yes.” I shoved half of the cookie into my mouth. “We have milk.”

“Ooh, yummers,” Jeremy said. “I’ll get it.”

“Darling, what’s going on?” Derek leaned close and whispered in my ear, “Where is our houseguest?”

I stood on tiptoe and answered quietly, “On the roof.” I turned and looked around at the confusion. Derek and I gazed at each other, then shrugged and laughed.

“I’ll open some wine,” he said, and I nodded my approval.

“Hey, Brooklyn, aren’t you going to open the box?” Suzie asked as she munched on a cookie.

“Yeah,” Minka snarled as she adjusted her hat. “I’m not leaving until I’ve seen exactly what’s in there.”

“Whoa.” I must have been distracted before, because I was just now getting my first good look at her-and had to shield my eyes. Pink and plastic were her watchwords today. The shirt was a shiny, one-shoulder creation that stretched across her voluptuous bosom so tightly that if it came loose, I feared somebody would lose an eye. Her pink stretch pants were sliced vertically all the way up her thighs so her skin popped out appallingly. She wore a matching pink, glittery pillbox hat tilted jauntily to one side.

Words failed me.

Derek stepped forward and held up my heavy-duty Tough Tool box cutters he’d found in my workroom. “Shall we?”

“Yes,” I said. “Would you do the honors, please?”

He knelt down next to the big box and sliced the cardboard top open to reveal another box, this one made of wood.

“Are those the shelves?” Suzie asked. “They look unfinished.”

A highly suspicious Minka stood over one end of the box with her arms folded across her chest, just waiting to point an accusing finger at me. Moronic twit.

“This is so exciting,” Sergio said, fanning himself. “Ooh, Derek, you’re so strong.”

Jeremy licked his lips in agreement.

I giggled at Derek’s momentary look of horror.

He moved around the edges of the wooden crate, using the heavy blade of the cutters to pry the top up. “Help me with this, will you?”

Suzie and I gripped one end while Derek took the other end. Together we lifted off the top and laid it along the side of the crate.

“Well?” I asked, turning around to look at my friends’ reactions.

Jeremy screamed and slid to the floor.

“Holy crap,” Suzie shouted and skittered backward.

Vinnie made some kind of wheezing sound and yanked Suzie back farther. She began chanting something in her native language, then cried out, “Dear goddess, what evil has come into our world?”

I turned and looked. And gasped. Derek grabbed me before I could join Jeremy on the floor, and pressed my head to his chest so tightly I could barely breathe.

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God,” Suzie chanted.

“This isn’t happening,” I muttered, lifting my head to catch my breath.

Minka whipped around, pointed at me, and screamed, “You’re a sick, twisted bitch!” Then she made a gagging sound and ran for the door. I could hear her screaming all the way down the hall.

I braced myself, then turned back to make double sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

But no, it wasn’t an illusion. Lying in the box was Angelica, almost as beautiful as she’d ever been, surrounded by faded, wilting flowers. Her hair was coiffed, her makeup was perfect, and she was very, very dead.

Minka’s screeching could be heard for blocks around. It brought Max racing down from the roof.

“What the hell’s wrong?” he shouted from across the living room. “Sounds like a screaming hyena out there.”

I whipped around. “Oh, Max,” I cried, and ran to meet him.

“Are you okay, hon?” he asked, rubbing my back. “Was that you screaming?”

I shook my head but couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him what was wrong, so I just stood there as he rocked me in his arms.

I could see Derek bent over the corpse, doing something. Knowing Derek, he was probably checking for a pulse and telltale signs of her cause of death. A minute later, he circled the room, surveying the people, appraising the situation, focusing on triage.