Lawrence Block - A Walk Among the Tombstones

They went in the back of the truck and it was all fixed up with a mattress, which made it comfortable, actually, or it would have been comfortable if she could have relaxed, but you couldn’t, not with these guys, because they were too weird. How could you relax?

They made her take everything off, every stitch, which was a pain in the ass but she knew not to argue. And then, well, they fucked her, taking turns, first the driver, then the other one. That part was pretty much routine, except of course that there were the two of them, and when the second man was doing her the driver pinched her nipples. That hurt, but she knew better than to say anything, and anyway she knew he was aware that it hurt. That was why he was doing it.

They both did her and they both got off, which was encouraging, because it was when a guy couldn’t get it up or couldn’t finish that you were sometimes in danger, because they got mad at you, like it was your fault. After the second one groaned and rolled off of her she said, “Hey, that was great. You guys are all right. Let me get dressed, huh?”

That was when they showed her the knife.

A switchblade, a big one, really skanky-looking. The second man, the one with the dirty mouth, had the knife, and he said, “You ain’t going nowhere, you fucking cunt.”

And Ray said, “We’re all going somewhere, we’re going for a little ride, Pammy.”

That was his name, Ray. The other one called him Ray, that’s how she knew it. The other one’s name, if she heard it then it never registered, because she didn’t have a clue. But the driver was Ray.

Except they switched, so he wasn’t the driver now. The other one climbed over the seat and got behind the wheel and Ray stayed in back with her, and he kept the knife, and of course he didn’t let her put on her clothes.

This was where it started getting really hard to remember. She was in the back of the truck and it was dark and she couldn’t see out and they drove and drove and she didn’t have any idea where they were or where they were going. Ray asked her about drugs again, he was hipped on the subject, he told her junkies were just looking to die, that it was a death trip, and that they should all get what they were looking for.

He made her go down on him. That was better, at least he would shut up, and at least she was, like, doing something.

Then they were parked again, God knows where, and then there was a lot of sex. They took turns with her and they just did stuff for a long time, and she was like zoning in and out, like she wasn’t really a hundred percent there for part of the time. She was pretty sure that neither of them came. They both got off the first time, on Twenty-fourth Street or wherever it was, but now it was like they didn’t want to come because that would break up the party. They did it to her in, well, all the usual places, and they put other things inside her besides parts of themselves. She wasn’t really too clear on what they used. Some of what they did hurt and some didn’t and it was awful, it was all terrible, and then she remembered something, she hadn’t remembered this before, but there was a point where she got really peaceful.

Because, see, she knew she was going to die. And it’s not like she wanted to die, because she didn’t, she definitely didn’t, but the thought somehow came to her that that’s what was going to happen, and that was all that was going to happen, and she thought, well, like I can handle that. Like I can live with it, almost, which was ridiculous because that was the point, she couldn’t live, not if she died.

“Okay, I can handle that.” Just like that, really.

And then, just as she had really come to terms with it, just as she was enjoying this feeling of peacefulness, Ray said, “You know what, Pammy? You’re going to get a chance. We’re going to let you live.”

The two of them argued then, because the other man wanted to kill her, but Ray said they could let her go, that she was a whore, that nobody cared about whores.

But she wasn’t just any whore, he said. She had the best set of tits on the street. He said, “Do you like ’em, Pammy? Are you proud of them?”

She didn’t know what she was supposed to say.

“Which one’s your favorite? Come on, eeny meeny miney mo, pick one. Pammy. Pam-mee” — singsong, like a taunting child — “pick a titty, Pammy. Which one’s your favorite?”

And he had something in his hand, sort of a loop of wire, coppery in the dim light.

“Pick the one you want to keep, Pammy. One for you and one for me, that’s fair, isn’t it, Pam-mee? You can keep one and I’ll take the other one, and it’s your choice, Pam-mee, you have to choose, you hot little bitch, you have to pick one. It’s Pammy’s choice, you remember Sophie’s Choice , but that was tots and this is tits , Pam-mee, and you better pick one or I’ll take them both.”

God, he was crazy, and what was she supposed to do, how could she pick one breast? There had to be a way to win this game but she couldn’t think what it was.

“Look at that, look at that, I touch them and the nipples get hard, you get hot even when you’re scared, even when you’re crying, you little cunt, you. Pick one, Pammy. Which one will it be? This one? This one? What are you waiting for, Pammy? Are you trying to stall? Are you trying to make me angry? Come on, Pammy. Come on. Touch the one you want to keep.”

God, what was she supposed to do?

“That one? Are you sure, Pammy?”

God—

“Well, I think it’s a good choice, an excellent choice, so that one’s yours and this one’s mine and a deal’s a deal and a trade’s a trade and no trades back, Pam-mee.”

The wire was a circle around her breast, and there was a wooden handle attached to each end of the wire, like the kind they slipped under the string of a package so you could carry it, and he held the handles and drew his hands apart, and—

And she was out of her body, just like that, floating without a body, up in the air above the truck and able to look down through the roof of the truck, watching, watching as the wire slipped through her flesh as if through a liquid, watching the breast slide slowly away from the rest of her, watching the blood seep.

Watching until the blood filled up the whole of her vision, watching it darken, darken, until the world went black.

Kelly was away from his desk. The man who answered his phone at Brooklyn Homicide said he could try to have him paged, if it was important. I said it was important.

When the phone rang Elaine answered it, said, “Just a minute,” and nodded. I took the phone from her and said hello.

“My dad remembers you,” he said. “Said you were real eager.”

“Well, that was a while ago.”

“So he said. What’s so important they got to beep me in the middle of a meal?”

“I have a question about Leila Alvarez.”

“You got a question. I thought you had something for me.”

“About the surgery she had.”

“ ‘Surgery.’ That what you want to call it?”

“Do you know what he used to sever the breast?”

“Yeah, a fucking guillotine. Where are you coming from with the questions, Scudder?”

“Could he have used a piece of wire? Piano wire, say, used almost like a garrote?”

There was a long pause, and I wondered if I’d pronounced the word incorrectly and he didn’t know what I meant. Then, his voice tight, he said, “What the fuck are you sitting on?”

“I’ve been sitting on it for ten minutes, and I’ve spent five of them waiting for you to call back.”

“God damn it, what have you got, mister?”

“Alvarez wasn’t their only victim.”