Anne Fox - Camp Chaos

“If I’m not cut out for it, then no one is,” she said.

“Cocky. I like that.” He smiled. “Familiarize yourself with your new digs, get a little rest, and I’ll come collect you when it’s time for dinner.”

She consulted the building map. Cafeteria , she noted, tapping her finger on its location. “Tell you what: you tell me when you want me there, and I’ll be there.”

He grinned even more. “Good enough. Be there at 1700 hours.”

He turned and walked off as she entered her quarters. Looking around, she noted that it was a good-sized apartment with living area, dining nook, kitchen, bath, and bedroom. It even had windows, which puzzled her. Thought we were underground. When she walked up to one, however, she noticed it was actually a high-definition transparency, back-lit by an LED panel. From the brightness of the panel, she surmised that somehow the light intensity was designed to mimic the actual daylight outside the BEQ above.

Walking to the dining area, she noticed a gift-wrapped basket of fruit on the table with a little card. Welcome, Special Agent Hanko. Nice. Guess they figured out I like fruit when I ordered lunch. In the kitchen, coffee pot. And not one of those stupid little one cup brewers. She opened the fridge and laughed out loud. Bagels! And everything to go on them, plus a bunch of other goodies. The toaster on the counter has a bagel setting, too. Dishes in the cabinets. Cleaning supplies under the sink. Guess Clara wasn’t lying when she said they provide everything.

She consulted the building map, making note of the laundry, library, and quartermaster store. Sitting down, she decided to study it. Cafeteria, infirmary, dental clinic, optometry, pharmacy, armory, gunsmith. Field team housing, noticing hers was one of eight, with one marked as temporary housing. She traced the path from her quarters to the cafeteria and judged from the distance she’d walked from legal to her quarters how much time it would take her to get there. Then she set an alarm on her watch and went into the bedroom. Finding her suitcase sitting on the bed, she decided to put away her clothes and toiletries, then returned and laid down on the bed. Staring unseeing at the ceiling, her mind wandered through everything she’d absorbed since leaving Albuquerque.

SHE WAS JARRED awake by the buzzing of the alarm on her watch. Fuck◦– more tired than I thought. Picking up the building map from the bedside table, she stuck the access card in her pocket and headed out the door. Left, right, left, second door on the left.

Arriving at the cafeteria, she noted her watch, minute to spare , and walked through the door.

“Pay up,” Turtle said, turning to Edge.

“Fuck.” Edge handed him a quarter. Everyone in the room laughed. Kat noted that there were more people than just the six she had already met.

“A little bet on whether you’d make it here in time on your own,” Spud explained. “Edge lost. As usual.”

Spud swept his hand around the room. “Some of these kind folks have stayed a little longer than usual so the introductions could be made. You’ll be meeting each of them a little more up close and personal over the next five days. Probably a bit more up close and personal than you’d like.” He started around the room. “Dr. Wright and Dr. Richardson are our two docs,” pointing out a man and woman, “Dr. Anderson is our psychiatrist, Dr. Keithley is our dentist, Dr. Gilman is our opthalmologist, Page, Jana, and Janet are our nurses◦– they double as dental assistants, and Janet does our haircuts as well, James is our pharmacist and also lab tech, Mike is our quartermaster, and last but not least, probably the guy you’ll see the most while serving in the unit given what you were picked for, Luigi is our master gunsmith.”

“Kat,” she said, putting her hand on her chest.

Everyone laughed.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Kat’s gonna die,” Luigi said, “So we don’t know who the heck you are. Not yet, at any rate.” He took her in for a moment and added, “I understand you shoot, and I understand you’re very good. Nice. I like a challenge. My job is to make you a gun that can shoot better’n you.”

“We’ll see,” she said. Bet’s on .

“Hope you like chicken,” Cloud said. “I tried something a little different in honor of your arrival. Chicken cordon bleu with asparagus spears and wild rice, with a nice little peach cobbler for dessert.”

Ooooooooo went around the room as some of the personnel began drifting out. “Trying to impress the lady,” Spud remarked.

“You double as the cook?” Kat asked.

“We all take turns at cooking. Everyone except Edge, ‘cuz he can’t cook worth a shit. He can burn spaghetti.” Everyone laughed again. “We’re hoping you have decent culinary skills.”

“So, you don’t have a cook.”

“Hell no!” Cloud said. “We’re tough! We can even eat Edge’s spaghetti!” Everyone laughed uproariously, with those nearest him giving Edge a shove.

“You get the place of honor tonight,” Spud said, indicating a chair at the table as Cloud went around and set food at all the places. “Because we all know what you’re going to be going through over the next few days.”

She looked at him skeptically and sat. Looking around the table, she noticed everyone was watching her. No one was touching their food.

“Am I supposed to say grace or something?” she asked.

Everyone laughed again.

“No, we’re waiting for you to eat some first,” Turtle said.

“You won’t eat until I do?”

“Yeah. If you keel over after tasting my food, then we’re all going to skip dinner and go back home for a bowl of popcorn or something,” Cloud said, getting everyone laughing again.

She sat looking at him.

“Seriously, Kat,” Spud began. “It’s a bit of a superstition in the unit. It’s considered bad juju to eat before the new guy eats. Take a bite of something, because everyone here is starving, and frankly it smells really good. For a change,” he added, eliciting yet another laugh from the people around the table.

She picked up knife and fork and cut off a bit of the cordon bleu. They all watched her in anticipation. If they put hot chilis in it, then they all forgot I’m from Albuquerque . Putting it in her mouth, her eyes went a bit wide. She chewed and swallowed. “This is really good!”

“Hey! She likes it!” Edge exclaimed.

Everyone started to eat, share stories, and joke with each other.

Hungrier than I thought . She deliberately paced herself as she ate, knowing it would raise eyebrows if she wolfed the food down as she usually did at home. “This is really good,” she remarked.

“I still don’t see where you put it,” Spud said.

“Don’t sit still and you just burn it up,” she replied. “The Bureau isn’t big on retaining chunky monkeys.”

“If you have to eat like that now, it’s going to be fun watching you eat when you start training with us.”

She sat back, nothing but empty dishes in front of her. “Must have been good,” Cloud remarked, picking up her empty plates.

“Delicious.”

Everyone sat looking at her.

“Another superstition? Do I have to get up first?”

“No. We’re just wondering if you have any questions for us,” Turtle said.

“Well, ok. What’s this unit called?”

Everyone looked around at everyone else.

“What? I don’t get to know yet?”

“No, it’s not that,” Spud said. “It’s just that it really doesn’t have a name. We just refer to it as ‘the unit.’”