P Deutermann - Spider mountain

“Them? Who’d screw around with those guys? They’ll be fine.”

I recounted how I’d felt, leaving law enforcement. How I thought my identity had been stolen, or at least lost. How I’d always felt just a bit superior to the average civilian in the street, but now had to watch my speed on the highway just like everybody else. She said she was still feeling that way and wondering if she ought to go back but in some other department.

“I was a senior female civil servant,” she said. “I can force the issue if I want to.”

“You don’t want to do that,” I said. “You’d always wonder about everything that worked for you after that-was it merit or the harpy effect.”

“I suppose,” she said. “But then there are these little niggling details of a mortgage, health care, a car payment, and retirement.”

“You could always do what Mose did-become a wilderness guide. It’s not like you don’t know some interesting places to go see in them thar hills.”

For a moment she got this dreamy expression in her eyes, as if that thought had crossed her mind. Aided and abetted by that conniving fake Injun over at County, no doubt. The one with the big nose, or something. But then she sighed and shook her head. I tried another tack.

“You’re vested in your state retirement,” I pointed out. “And my company can take care of those other matters-we need more lady agents at Hide amp; Seek Investigations. By the way, where do I send my bill?”

She cocked her head to one side. “Your bill?”

“As an SBI operational consultant? I believe we had a contract. I have some really spiffy timesheets made up.”

She started to laugh. “They never canceled that?”

“Not to my knowledge,” I said. “King told me to go home, but he never said, ‘You’re fired.’ I don’t believe you ever canceled it. Far as I’m concerned, I’ve been on the clock the whole time.”

“They’re going to shit little green apples,” she said, still laughing.

“They’ll pay it, too,” I said. “Or I can always try your trick with one of those operational reports going in the mail, now that I know where to send it. Inquiring minds have a right to know. Think of the recruiting impact.”

“ Big green apples,” she said. “I’ll think about your offer. That might be fun.”

Eat your heart out, Big Chief. I ordered more wine.