Christine Feehan: Dark Celebration 17

«You know it is dangerous. You know we cannot leave paper trails. Any contact with humans is risky, especially one on paper. It endangers all of us.»

Jacques slammed the dough hard onto the counter. «Shea has been researching why we lose babies even as she is carrying our child. She has investigated the deaths of thirty children under the age of one. What do you think that does to her?» His fist smashed into the dough. «She is about to give birth and she is terrified. She tries to hide it from me, but I have never been able to allow her even limited privacy.» The admission of weakness shamed him, but Jacques wanted his brother to know the truth. «She carries the burden of my sanity every moment of her existence.»

«Jacques, you love Shea.»

«Shea is my life, my soul, and she knows it, Mikhail, but it doesn't make it easy to live with me. I cannot stand other men near her. I'm always a shadow in her mind, and I have nearly driven us both crazy worried about this pregnancy-worried about her. If something should happen to her…»

«Shea will give birth and the child will be healthy,» Mikhail said, sending up a silent prayer that it was true. «Both Francesca and Gregori will see to it that Shea is in good health. I have every faith that you will not allow anything to happen to your lifemate during this time.»

«She begged me to promise to stay in the world and raise my child should something happen to her.» Jacques raised anguished eyes to his brother. «After her own terrible childhood, you can understand why she would need such a reassurance from me.» He rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking tired and weighed down with sorrow. «You know I cannot exist without her. She is my sanity. It is the only thing she has ever asked of me, and I cannot safely comply no matter how much I wish to reassure her.»

«What do you know of this woman?»

It was the only apology Jacques could give his brother. By allowing Shea correspondence with a stranger, a human unknown to their species, he had opened the door to endanger their entire race. «The woman, Eileen Fitzpatrick, sent Shea numerous photos of Maggie, Shea's mother, and a woman Eileen claimed was Maggie's half sister. Apparently the half sister is Eileen's grandmother.»

«How would she find Shea?»

Jacques shrugged. «The internet. Shea researches genealogy all the time.»

Mikhail's eyebrow shot up. «Why? She is no longer human, but Carpathian.»

«And apparently genealogy still matters in her research, Mikhail,» Jacques said. «Not only for Shea, but Raven and Alexandria and Jaxon-all of them as well as our families too. Gregori and Francesca take care of the Carpathian genealogy necessary for the research into the deaths of our children.»

«And this Eileen found her through the genealogy site Shea was working on?» Mikhail prompted.

Jacques nodded, all too aware of Mikhail's continuing censure. «Eileen was born in Ireland, but she happened to be living in the States. I asked Aidan to look into her discreetly. She owns a bookstore in San Francisco and spends a great deal of her time looking up her family history in the library, using their computers.»

«So at least this woman is far away.» Even as he said it, Mikhail scowled, his dark brows coming together and thunder rolling over his face-cracking in the skies. He read the truth on Jacques's face. «She's here?»

«She will be at the inn this evening. Eileen asked Shea what she would be doing for Christmas, and Shea thought it was natural for a human to be cooking food for the children and having a Christmas party, so she mentioned it.»

Mikhail watched Jacques roll a wooden pin over the dough to flatten it. «I like nothing about this party. I should have told Raven no. It has occurred to me many times lately that sooner or later our enemies will strike at our women and children. What better time than now with so many of us gathered in one place?»

«Raven was right, Mikhail. After the last attempt on your life, we all needed something to lighten our spirits. I will admit I have been more uneasy than usual, but I suspect it is because Shea is so close to giving birth.»

«Maybe,» Mikhail said. «Maybe.»

«I do not think our enemies will be able to rally this quickly to launch another concentrated attack on us, Mikhail, but of course we will take every precaution.» Jacques rolled the dough out with more enthusiasm than expertise and threw a handful of flour over it, sending another cloud of white particles into the air.

Mikhail couldn't pull his fascinated gaze away from the mess his brother seemed to be making. «Where's Shea now?» He lowered his voice another notch.

«She had better be lying down. She is not feeling very well.»

«It is possible the vampires cannot rally, but the society working against us has always

found us here in the mountains. They have spies, and it is entirely possibly they have heard of this gathering. One or more of the locals has to be in their pay. And of course, we cannot ever forget that the dark mage is still alive.»

Jacques's black eyes glittered with menace, ice cold and dangerous, reminding Mikhail that even with Shea to steady him, Jacques was a lethal and frightening man. The white flour dusting his face and on the tips of his lashes did nothing to soften the threat emanating from him. «We should begin regular sweeps through the town and surrounding areas and see what we can pick up.»

Mikhail inhaled sharply, and immediately began to cough as the flour particles entered his lungs. He liked most of the townspeople, had a genuine friendship with a few, and the idea of continually invading their privacy was repugnant to him, even though he knew it was necessary.

Jacques scowled at him. «I can handle it myself.»

«You know as well as I do that our enemies have been able to find a way to keep us from detecting them. Continual scanning or taking blood deliberately to monitor them will only rob our neighbors of the privacy they are entitled to. We would not want such a deliberate invasion of our privacy.» It was an old discussion, but one he always made to remind himself of right and wrong.

«We have more than a right, we have a duty to protect our women and children, Mikhail, and I shouldn't have to tell you that. You nearly lost Raven three times now.»

Mikhail tamped down his own rising beast. It would do no good to turn a useful discussion into an argument. Jacques had a valid point-as did Mikhail, and in the end, they would do what they had to do to protect their race.

Mikhail studied his brother's snarling face. Jacques had been on the verge of insanity when Shea rescued him, and after all the years with her, the demons still lurked very close to the surface. At the slightest hint of danger to Shea, the monster rose quickly, and anyone too close to Jacques could be in danger.

«Jacques?»

They both turned at the sound of Shea's voice. She stood in the doorway, her bright red hair tumbling around her face, drawing attention to her emerald green eyes and the dark circles beneath them. I felt your need of me. What is it, wild man? She sounded gently amused even as she wrapped him up in her warmth and love.

Jacques took a breath, calmed his mind, suddenly aware that he had inadvertently tightened his hold on Shea. I seem so sane to others, yet I am still fragmented without you. I am sorry I disturbed you. His voice was intimate and gentle, a wash of emotions as he took in the love of his life. Something softened inside, eased the roaring of the demons rising in

him-the deep rage that never quite left him no matter how hard he struggled to overcome his past. He would never be easy in the company of humans as his brother was, and he couldn't quite suppress the thought that invasion of privacy was well worth not only his own peace of mind, but his need to keep this woman safe for eternity.