Christine Feehan - Dark Demon 16

«How do I know? The healers do incredible things. Maybe he could be saved. He isn't wholly Carpathian. So if he did turn, he isn't wholly vampire.» She wiped her hand over her face as if that could erase the knowledge of the extent of her twin's betrayal. «He was a good man. For centuries, he was honorable and he suffered so much.»

Vikirnoff sighed with regret. «You wanted to know why he wanted children. I have seen that question in your mind many times.»

She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and refused to meet his gaze, shaking her head slightly.

«He is looking for blood just as Xavier wanted the blood of his children to sustain his life. That is how he remained alive all these years. Not all children will carry what he needs, so he wanted several from different mothers.» And Razvan now wanted Natalya's blood just as Xavier sought it all those years ago. Razvan would not take her from Vikirnoff. He could not be allowed to destroy the fragile threads that bound their hearts even as their souls were welded so tightly together.

«You don't know that.» But it made sense. It was exactly what Xavier had done. She had witnessed it when she'd grasped the handle of the ceremonial knife.

«No, I do not. And I do not know if there is any hope for him. What I do know is there are vampires conspiring to kill the prince and kidnap you. They are hunting for a book your

father gave his life to protect. He was so desperate to protect that book he put a compulsion on you to find it should someone start nosing around the cave.»

«Someone went into the ice cave before us and that triggered the compulsion.» She'd already figured that out for herself.

«If your father was willing to give his life to keep that book from Xavier, I am willing to bet we do not want it in his hands.»

«I still think there's a chance.»

«Natalya, I cannot tell you how many friends-even family I have had to hunt and kill. When we face a loved one who has become a vampire, even hunters hesitate. And when facing a hunter as skilled as your brother, hesitation is a death sentence. You cannot afford pity. You cannot afford to think he can be saved. He cannot.»

«How do you know, though? Have any of you ever tried to heal a vampire? Has it ever once been tried?» She knew it was desperation, but she couldn't help pushing it. There had to be a way to save her brother. If his sacrifice for her had led to his downfall then she bore the responsibility. He had been there for her when she needed him so desperately; she had to find a way to be there for him.

Vampires were completely evil. She had seen their depravity, their joy in the killing of others. She couldn't bear that Razvan had chosen such a thing. That he had deliberately embraced everything they had fought against all of their lives. Vikirnoff could see her struggle to fight off the weight of guilt and fear and even repugnance. She didn't want to fear her brother. She didn't want to loathe and despise him. She didn't want to feel revulsion for what he had become.

Reluctantly, Virkirnoff released Natalya when she pushed away from him. His heart ached as he watched her swim restlessly back and forth across the small pool. He couldn't lie or soften the truth. He respected her too much for that. When they hunted for the book, they would be pursued. And they had to hunt for the book. He knew it, and somewhere, deep inside, so did Natalya. The book would surface sooner or later, maybe even in another century when memories had dulled. It was far too dangerous to leave to chance.

Vikirnoff rubbed his hand over his face, his stomach lurching at the idea of what was to come. Natalya was an exceptional woman, but one he had never expected, one he'd thought he would never want. Yet why had he envisioned a docile, amenable woman as his lifemate? Natalya was a woman to walk beside him. He could not imagine his life without the sharp edge of her tongue, or her peculiar sense of humor.

His brows drew together as he watched her swim back and forth. The beads of moisture on her face were not from the spring water and that was painful. Does that television set in your room at the inn actually work? He used their more intimate path of communication deliberately, wanting her to feel him inside of her.

She halted abruptly, throwing back her hair so that water went in every direction. Blinking rapidly to clear her vision, she nodded. «Why?»

«Half of what you say makes no sense to me. If we are to communicate adequately, I have to watch your late night movies.»

She sent up a spout of water straight at his face. «Don't sound like you're going to a funeral. Late night movies are fun. Fun. Do you even understand the concept of having fun?»

There it was again. That heartbreaking note of desperation, of strain, in her voice. She was gamely smiling at him, but her eyes were dark with sorrow. Vikirnoff waded over to her, his gaze locked with hers. All the teasing in the world wouldn't fix it. All the love in the world wouldn't take it away. All he could do was pull her into the shelter of his body, as close to his heart as possible. And tell her the real truth. She would see him for what he was. It was a risk he hesitated to take. Their relationship was so very fragile and he always seemed to make the wrong decision.

He was aware of his blood moving through his body, carrying his shame. «I do not know that Razvan willingly chose to embrace evil, Natalya.»

«I don't understand what you mean. He has to be vampire. Or at least in league with the vampires. How could that not be choosing to embrace evil?»

He heard his heart thundering in his ears, trying to drown out the sound of his voice confessing. Voicing aloud what he didn't want known. What he didn't admit to himself. He rubbed his face against hers, his fingers tangling in her wet hair.

Natalya held her breath, sensing how vulnerable Vikirnoff was at that moment, sensing the cost to his pride. «Tell me.»

«Before I met you. Long before I met you, I hunted the vampire everywhere I went. I was good at it, Natalya, because life no longer mattered to me. Not my life and not that of any other. I realized I was becoming the very thing I hunted so I sought my brother, hoping his close proximity would alleviate the growing darkness.»

Natalya pressed closer, circling his neck with her arms, wanting to give him strength as he'd done for her. «Go on, Vikirnoff.» She felt his reluctance and knew he was giving her something of himself, something that cost him dearly.

Vikirnoff drew in a tortured breath. «It helped for a few years and then the emptiness was a weight pressing heavier than ever. I backed off making the kills, allowing Nicolae to destroy the vampires after we found them. I even spent most of my time in another form.»

«All good things to keep yourself going.» She caught glimpses of a stark, bleak existence in his mind, but it was nearly impossible to understand without merging with him and he was holding himself away from her.

Vikirnoff closed his eyes. «You are not understanding what I am saying to you, Natalya. I am an ancient Carpathian. I am well-schooled in what happens to our males should they continue to live and hunt and destroy. There is a point of no return. A place in one's mind where a choice must be made.»

Natalya frowned and pulled back to look at the lines etched into his face. «What choice?»

«Every moment of our existence, we are acutely aware of the gathering darkness. We know if we do not find our lifemate there is a time we must make a decision to protect our people and the populations of the world. Once that time is upon us, we cannot allow it to pass us by. If we do not choose to meet the dawn with honor, then we endanger our souls by becoming vampire.»

Natalya reached up to frame his face. «But who can ever make such a choice?»