Christine Feehan - Dark Demon 16

She was so close to him, so close to his body. He was shielding them from eyes, not aggravating his injuries further by taking a different form. Heat poured off his body and into hers. His chest was hard and his thighs gripped her tightly. She became aware of her own body softening and fitting even closer to his. Desire shot through her, unexpected and piercing and totally out of place. She was being drawn, in spite of herself, into his world and she was terribly confused.

He whispered something in his language, something low and sexy, breathing it against her throat. She was vulnerable to his voice, to his accent, to the feel of his mouth moving against her skin.

What is it? Tell me?

Natalya shifted just a little to circle his neck with her arms, to weave her fingers into his hair while she told him the truth.

I looked into your mind, Vikirnoff. All this lifemate stuff you keep preaching is a bunch of crap. Part of her, some treacherous, lonely, feminine part of her desperately wanted it to be true. You want June Cleaver. Or Donna Reed. That's who you want. Some little yes woman with her apron on cooking you meals and saying «Yes, dear.» Instead you're stuck with… She pulled her head back to look into his eyes. She knew she was showing him she was hurt. It didn't matter right then. She needed to belong somewhere. If only for a moment. He wanted a lifemate, but he didn't want her. She kept her gaze locked with his. You're stuck with Xena, warrior woman, who you don't want, can't conceive of and don't understand.

She felt his confusion. Puzzlement. His eyes changed color, deepened, darkened with such intense emotion he robbed her of breath. I do not know these women, Natalya. I do not hear jealousy as much as hurt and it is unacceptable to me that I would cause you sorrow. I do not desire them nor would I ever. I prefer not to eat food so I do not expect nor want cooked meals. And I have no other lifemate, only you. I have never met this Xena you speak of.

Part of her wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to cry. I'm Xena warrior woman, you dope. You don't know anything, do you? She rested her forehead against his. This lifemate thing wasn't your choice any more than it was mine. You didn't want me. I want to be wanted for who I am.

There was such sadness in her voice, in her mind, it echoed through Vikirnoff's heart. How can you think I do not want you? You are a miracle to me.

Natalya turned her head away. She'd been in his mind and she knew his thoughts. He wanted a submissive woman who would hang on his every word, not someone with a smart mouth and an attitude. For one moment she thought about trying to change, living to be what he wanted, but she could never mold her personality or drive the tigress out of her. She was passionate and fiery and entirely too impulsive. She didn't wait for someone to lead her, she took her own path and she couldn't imagine being any different.

She watched the ground below them, inexplicably sad, the vivid shades of green, the riot of colors from the meadows of flowers and the stacks of hay dotting the rolling hills, all blurring together until she blinked away the tears swimming in her eyes. There were people down there, people with lives far shorter than her life, but so happy. People with families and children and someone to talk to. She had Vikirnoff. She knew he wasn't going to leave her, he believed he was tied to her for eternity, but he didn't want Natalya Shonski, with the blood of the dark mage running in her veins and a tigress crouching deep within her soul. He didn't want the woman who fought vampires and watched really bad movies on late night television.

Vikirnoff pressed his body tightly against hers so that she could feel what she did to him, the tight, painful ache that never seemed to entirely disappear, not even in the midst of danger. How could she think he didn't want her? There was no other woman for him, there could be no other woman. I have much to learn about women, Natalya, it is true, but do not doubt that I want you. His hands shifted on her body, a subtle difference, but she felt it all the way to her toes.

She wanted to smack him one. It just welled up, a tight hot ball of temper that raced through her bloodstream and came spilling out in a low warning growl that vibrated through both of them.

There was a small silence. His body rippled, muscles flexing and his knee pushed between her legs, forcing her into contact with his hard thick erection. Did you just warn me off?

If there was a suspicion of laughter in his voice, she couldn't catch it, but she felt it, as if the idea was amusing to him. His tone was pitched so low she shivered. It had gone from soft to black velvet, dark and mesmerizing and oh-so-confident. He knew she was drawn to him, that her body ached for his. He was in her mind and he could glimpse her fantasies. As much as she tried to keep sexual thoughts out of her head, they persisted, crowding in when she least expected it and the tigress in her reacted, rising with heat and need and hunger. Yes, I did. There was a challenge in her voice. What could he do, after all? She was safe and she knew it.

Because you think you are safe.

She tilted her chin. I know that I am. She let her gaze move insolently over his body. You aren't exactly in shape to win wars. Was she challenging him? Deliberately provoking him? She wanted to feel his mouth crushing hers again, his hands on her body. She wanted to belong, just once, to lose herself in another person when her whole world had come crashing down.

You should never underestimate your lifemate.

Her feet touched the balcony just outside of her room at the inn, but he didn't release her. His arms held her close and his knee was still wedged between her thighs. Natalya found herself caged between his body and the wall. His eyes glittered dangerously, and she recognized the predator. She felt the rash of heat spreading fast, the quickening of her pulse in answer to his sudden aggression. He'd been so gentle with her, she'd almost forgotten how dangerous he could be. He had the same animal instincts, the same possessive nature, the drive to be dominant.

Her heart pounded and her body pulsed with sudden hunger. He could drive away every demon she had, replace it with pleasure. There was no give in Vikirnoff and by challenging him, she brought out his every predatory instinct. She wanted to be mindless, to forget everything, only to feel.

Vikirnoff framed her face with his hands, the pads of his thumbs sliding over her soft skin. He studied her upturned face, the tears so close, the weariness. A small sigh escaped and his features softened. «You have gone through trauma witnessing the events of the past. In effect, you lived those events. There is sorrow and rage in you and your emotions are all mixed together so you cannot separate one from the other. I will accept your challenge another day, when you are not so confused and I know that any decision made is real and not because you are vulnerable. I took away your choice when I bound us together, I will not do so twice.»

Natalya stared up at him shocked that she was so close to tears. She had never felt so raw in her life. He pulled her into his arms, enfolded her against him, his palms at the back of her head, this time without even a small hint of aggression. There was comfort in his strength as he stroked caresses down her hair.

«I am sorry about your parents, Natalya. It is a terrible thing to have family betray us. There were times I thought hunters needed the loss of emotion in order to hunt friends and family who became the undead.»

Vikirnoff hadn't needed to share the deaths of her parents with her, but he had chosen to do so. He had stayed in her mind through it all, reliving those dark moments with her, sharing the emotional outrage and grief right along with her. He had fought beside her, healed her, teased her and shared his mind when she needed an anchor. Now, grievously wounded, his eyes and skin burning in the morning light, he still offered her comfort.