Christine Feehan - Dark Curse 19

Lara closed her eyes and let herself drift on the music. It was quite beautiful, obviously an original piece. There was more to Nicolas than the aggressive hunter she first thought him. The water flowing out of the wall and into the pool added to the soothing feel of the forest and music. She felt him sink down onto the bed beside her.

«I have to go out for a short while, Lara,» Nicolas said. «I must feed.» He stroked his hand over her hair. «I would not do this, knowing it may upset you, but you are very weak and I need to bring you to full strength.»

She moistened her lips, concentrating on the strains of music, her pulse jumping at what he meant. She knew it was true. She could barely lift her arms. If she was going to find the bodies of her aunts, or at least find the answer to what happened to them, she had to regain her strength. And now there was the puzzle of her father. The child hadn't seen the truth of his terrible existence, but the woman had. She had to find the same answers for him. If it was possible that he was alive, she needed to find him and free him.

«Lara?» Nicolas leaned close to her, smoothing back her hair with a gentle hand. «Do you understand

what I'm saying to you?»

She forced her eyes open to meet his gaze. It was now or never to see if he had really changed. She pushed herself into a sitting position. Instantly he was there with his strong arms, propping her up, pushing air and pillows around her until he felt her comfort.

She made herself say it out loud, her gaze steady on his. «You want to give me blood.»

He didn't look away and he kept his mind firmly merged with hers. «I need to give you blood,» he corrected, allowing her to see the truth, to feel his hunger for her, for the taste of her, for the excitement of holding her close to him and feeling the incredible bonding between lifemates. More than his personal hunger to exchange blood with her, she felt his even stronger need to make her healthy again.

She moistened her lips. «I need to go back to the ice cave,» she blurted out. «That's the reason I came here in the first place. I have to go back. Not you. Not the other Carpathians, but me. My aunts kept me alive, no, they did more than that. They kept me sane, and I suspect they kept my father sane as long as they could. I owe them and I need to go find them. Dead or alive, finding out the worst, it doesn't matter, I have to do this.»

She clung to the mind merge, reading his reactions, refusing to flinch away from the dominating, very powerful demon who rose on a tidal wave of darkness to protest. His curse, he had said. She saw him so clearly now. Nicolas would never be anything but what he was, and that was a forceful presence who had confidence in his decisions. He would always believe in protecting her first, keeping her safe, but he was also struggling to give her a sense of confidence. He saw her as an equal, but one who needed to be guarded and governed. He was determined to grow beyond that. She saw and felt his struggle to fight back his first reaction. The protest welled up in him strong-violent even.

«You are not going to make this easy for me, are you?» he asked with a small sigh.

«I have to go into the cave. I'm asking you to understand.»

«That I can say without reservation. I do understand. Truthfully,I have to go back to that cave. I was there with you, sharing the horrors for a small time and their voices helped not only you cope, but me as well. You are my lifemate, a gift from the gods, and they kept you alive and sane for me. I understand the need to know their fate. If they are dead, I will recover their bodies and bring them home. If they, by some miracle, are still alive and I find proof, I will never stop until they are found.»

For the first time she reached out to him, taking both of his hands in hers, her gaze never wavering. «I have to go myself, Nicolas.» She repeated each word with distinction, watching it sink in, watching his instinctive reaction.

He looked so incredibly handsome and dangerous with his black glittering eyes and smoldering, sensual features. His hair was long already and tied back again with a leather thong making her wonder for a moment if he had deliberately brushed the strands across her bare skin. She felt her color rise at the thought.

«Read my mind, if you need to. See why it's so important to me. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have the same needs that drive you to protect those you love. The aunts were the only real support I had in my childhood. I didn't remember my father at all until I rediscovered the ice cave.»

«Kod alte han. Darkness curse it.» Nicolas hissed the oath between his teeth. The problem was-he

did understand. How could he not? He didn't want to, not when the mere thought of Lara in that cave made him crazy. It was too dangerous. What kind of a lifemate would he be if he didn't protect her? All of his life he had ranted about the males being too lenient with their women, being wrapped around their fingers…O jela peje terad. Sun scorch it . He was going to address the warrior's council and demand that Mikhail forbid the women to hunt the vampire. If he allowed those blue-green eyes to sway him from what he knew to be the right path…

He groaned. «Do not do this to me, Lara.»

«I know it will be difficult for you. If I learned anything about you, merged together as we were, I know this is asking something huge of you-to put aside your need to keep me safe, but I have to ask you. In return,» she moistened suddenly dry lips. Her body trembled and then she raised her chin. «I don't expect you to be the only one sacrificing. In return, I'll try to accept your need of my blood.»

There it was. The offer. The lifemate howled with absolute joy. The demon rose, hungry, insatiable, punching him hard with a fierce, possessive desire. Blood surged hotly in his veins and pulsed in his groin. If she said it and he accepted, she wouldn't-couldn't-go back on her word.

The demon, the arrogant, dominant hunter rejoiced. The lifemate stepped back and assessed the situation. She was pale, trembling, wringing her hands together. The price was far too high for both of them and finally, there was something he could do for her.

He took a deep breath-let it out slowly. His hands framed her face and he shook his head. «Not like this. Not a bargain between us when you are repulsed and frightened by the very thought. When I take your blood, Lara, it will be with love, an expression of love, a ritual between man and wife as old as time. If I cannot make you comfortable enough to trust me to accept the bond willingly, then I do not deserve you as a lifemate.» He held up his hand to stop her from answering. «That is not to say I will not insist on you accepting my blood and if an exchange is necessary, I will tell you. You will have the option of my controlling you for those few moments so you do not fear.»

Lara's fingers wrapped around his wrist. «What if I can't do it?»

«Then I must help you.»

«And the cave?»

This was his gift to her, the only one he had to give. Everything he was rebelled, hard knots twisted in his gut. «I will take you.»

There was a small silence while she stared into his eyes, seeking the truth. He felt her moving in his mind. The music continued, the breeze moved through the trees and the dragon stars danced overhead.

«Do you mean it?»

«I am your lifemate. Seek your answer in my mind.»

She tilted her head to one side, her gaze locked with his. Just as he had lived her earlier life and finally understood what it was like to feel helpless, vulnerable and humiliated, she had been merged with him and was beginning to understand that Nicolas had spent centuries guarding everyone around him. It was inherent in his nature. And to allow her to put herself in danger was an enormous concession-more, it went against everything he had ever believed in or stood for.