Christine Feehan - Dark Curse 19

He lengthened his nail and drew it across his chest, opening his vein. He couldn't even promise her he wouldn't repeat his mistakes, the darkness in him may have gathered strength over the years, but it had been there from the beginning. Even with his lifemate close, it was a living, breathing entity inside of him and it demanded those around him go his way.I will fight my nature as much as possible, Lara . He murmured to her softly as he pressed her mouth to the wound over his heart.I will be all things to you. Come back to me and let me show you I can be what you need . He had only considered how much she must change to be what he needed. How had he been such a fool?

She didn't respond. Not to the scent of his blood, and not to his coaxing words. In the end he had to resort to a command, wincing as he did so. How could she ever resolve living with one such as him? How could he protect her from his own nature? Even now, when she so clearly chose death over living with him, he imposed his will on her.

Juosz es olen ainaak sielamet jutta. Drink and become one with me. Live with me. I will never be perfect, but I will do all within my power to make you happy. Drink and live. It was a command-a compulsion-and he put every bit of power he could summon into the directive because he was not able to let her go. He would choose life for her and spend the rest of the time they had trying to convince her

he had done the right thing.

Her mouth moved against his bare chest. He was unprepared for the strange reaction of his body. The heat exploding into fire. The fullness in his groin. The burn of need in his veins. He threw back his head and absorbed the feeling, took it deep and held on to it. The call of one lifemate to another. His soul had called to hers and hers had answered. Their minds sought one another, needing the constant closeness between them. Now his body was calling, determined to awaken hers. Where was his heart? Did he even have one? Was that part of the curse of the De La Cruz family? Maybe they really didn't have hearts-or maybe it was just him. Although right now, right at this moment, he felt like his was breaking. He ached for both of them.

His life force flooded her starving body, organs and tissue and brain greedily reaching instinctively for nourishment-for life. He made certain he not only gave her enough to replace what she had lost, but enough for a formal blood exchange. Their first true exchange and it was much needed. He had to find a degree of control to combat the darkness that had grown so strong over the last few centuries. His one fear had been that of turning vampire, becoming the most loathsome of evil creatures, yet now, with his lifemate to provide the light to his darkness, he should have been free of worry. Without the formal blood exchange, even with the claiming ritual, until they met as one in body as well as soul and mind, he was a danger to everyone-but mostly he was dangerous to her.

Nicolas cradled Lara in his arms, close to his chest, still rocking. The sun had gone down some time ago and the night was on them. He had no idea when she had managed to harm herself or how long she had lain awake contemplating harming herself, but her spirit was a long way from her body.

«O jela sielamak. Light of my soul, come back to me.» She struggled and at first he thought it was to stay away from him, but then he realized her spirit was trapped elsewhere. She had drifted away on a sea of blood and wherever her spirit had roamed, past or present, or the shadow world, she was trapped in a web she couldn't get out of. Without hesitation, he merged his mind fully with hers, following the path to find her and guide her back to the land of the living.

Chapter 8

Nicolas shivered. It was cold. For the first time in his life, when he tried to regulate his body temperature, it was impossible. The cold was mind-numbing. And there was so much fear, wave after wave swamping him. Fear was not an emotion he was intimate with and the waves were overwhelming, keeping him off balance, his stomach churning and his heart beating too loudly. He didn't question that he shouldn't have a heart-or hear one, not while he was without his body, he simply accepted whatever happened and continued after her.

He found himself in a child's body. She was so tiny, her heart wild. Terror-her terror-settled into his mind, filling every corner, every compartment until he breathed it in and out, until it was living inside his very soul. He stared through horrified eyes at a man chained to the wall of ice. A young woman sat beside him weeping as she tried to wipe the beads of sweat from his face.

Razvan/father.

Nicolas breathed through the terror and tried to focus on what was happening. Razvan was nearly

drained of blood, weak, barely able to talk coherently, his voice low and trembling so that the woman leaned close and pressed her ear to his lips in order to hear him.

«Shauna, get her out before it's too late. You have to let her go.»

Lara's mother shook her head, tears running down her face. «She's too little, Razvan, she'll never make it on her own.»

«Better she die than let him get his hands on her.»

«I can't bear it. I can't bear to lose you and her. There has to be another way.»

«I will need blood and you've already given me too much.»

«She hates giving blood. She's too young to understand,» Shauna said, but she was already lifting the little girl with copper curls onto her lap.

Instead of feeling comforted, Nicolas was swamped with Shauna's fears as well. Living in the body of the child-Lara he struggled against the arms holding him tightly, fought, kicking and biting as Shauna extended the child's arm toward the man lying pale and ravaged. His heart felt as if it might explode. He tried to shift, to get away from the teeth coming at his small, exposed wrist. He had always been fast and strong, his powers honed at a very early age when few boys could even think of shifting, yet now he was powerless to free himself. He could only wait, watching those teeth come closer and closer to his flesh.

His body shrank away from the hot breath. He heard whimpering and felt Lara's spirit desperately fighting to free itself. The small arm was already covered in scars. This wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. There was no escaping those sharp teeth tearing through her skin to get at her tiny veins.

Nicolas pushed Lara behind him, shielding her as those teeth tore into his wrist. Pain blossomed, stole his breath, punched him in the gut. His vision darkened and blurred. He couldn't minimize the pain as he always had done, he had to let it wash over and through him, accept it to keep from passing out. Even as a child he'd been able to control pain over the many mishaps of shifting too close to the ground or slamming into a tree while flying. Although a man, he was merged deep with Lara, reliving those early years and he was as helpless as she had been. Merged so deep with her, he was not Carpathian, able to push pain aside: He had to suffer through it as she did.

He felt each individual tooth, felt skin rip, tissue and muscle, felt the puncture into his vein and the flow of his life force from his body. His spirit shrank until he felt small and vulnerable beyond even his scope of imagination. At the worst moment in his life, he had never felt this helpless. The lips sucking blood from his body felt greedy and ravenous. His body became leaden, his heart struggling to find a beat while his lungs labored for air.

«Stop! Stop, Razvan,» Shauna cried and pushed at the mouth clamped around the little wrist. «You're going to kill the baby.»

Razvan jerked back. Tears spilled down his face. «I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lara. Shauna, this isn't safe. I can't stop myself anymore. I'm becoming like him.»