Patrick O'Brian - Post captain

When Stephen reached the quarterdeck the admiral was uttering his thoughts on manilla cordage, and Jack and Sophie were standing some distance apart, looking extraordinary conscious. ‘His appearance,’ reflected Stephen, ‘is not so much that of concern as of consternation. His wits are overset: how very much at random he answers the admiral.’

‘And all that, my dears, has to be tarred, in the case we are rigged with common hemp,’ said the admiral.

‘Tarred, sir?’ cried Sophie. ‘Oh, indeed. With - with a tar-​brush, I dare say?’ Her voice died away, and she blushed again.

‘So I entrust the girls to you, Aubrey,’ said the admiral. ‘I shift the responsibility on to your shoulders - two great girls is a very shocking responsibility - and send ‘em aboard on Thursday.’

‘Upon my word, sir, you are very good - but not fit for a lady. That is to say, very fit for a lady; but cramped. Should be very happy, more than happy, to show Miss Williams any attention in my power.’

‘Oh, never mind them. They are only girls, you know - they can rough it - don’t put yourself out. Think what you will save them in pin-​money. Stow them anywhere. Berth them with the Doctor, ha, ha! There you are, Dr Maturin. I am happy to see you. You would not mind it, eh? Eh? Ha, ha, ha. I saw you, you sly dog. Take care of him, Aubrey; he is a sly one.’ The scattered officers on the quarterdeck frowned: the Admiral belonged to an older, coarser Navy; and he had been dining with his carnal colleague, the port admiral. ‘So that is settled, Aubrey? Capital, capital. Come, Sophie; come, Cecilia: into the chair - hang on to your petticoats; mind the wind. Oh,’ he added in what passed for a whisper, as the girls were lowered away in the ignominy of a bosun’s chair, ‘a word in your ear, Aubrey. Have you read your father’s speech? I thought not. “And now let us turn to the Navy,” said he to the House. “Here too we find that the former administration allowed, nay, encouraged the grossest laxity and unheard-​of corruption. My son, a serving officer, tells me that things were very bad - the wrong officers promoted through mere influence, the ropes and sails not at all the thing; and to crown all, Mr Speaker, sir, women, women allowed on board! Scenes of unspeakable debauchery, fitter, oh far fitter, for the French.” Now if you will take an old man’s advice, you will clap a stopper over all by express. It will do you no good in the service. Let him stick to the army. A word to the wise, eh, eh? You get my meaning?’

With a look of infinite cunning, the Admiral went over the side, attended by the honours due to his splendid rank; and having stood watching respectfully for the proper length of time, Jack turned to a messenger. ‘Pass the word for the carpenter,’ he said. ‘Mr Simmons, be so good as to select our very best hands with holystone and swab and send them aft. And tell me, who of the officers is the most remarkable for taste?’

‘For taste, sir?’ cried Simmons.

‘Yes, yes, artistic taste. You know, a sense of the sublime.’

‘Why, sir, I don’t know that any of us is much gifted in that line. I do not remember the sublime ever having been mentioned in the gun-​room. But there is Mallet, sir, carpenter’s crew, who understands these things. He was a receiver of stolen property, specializing in pretty sublime pieces, as I understand it - old masters and so on. He is rather old himself, and not strong, so he helps Mr Charnock with the joinery and fine-​work; but I am sure he understands things in the sublime way as well as anyone in the ship.’

‘We will have a word with him. I need some ornaments for the cabin. He can be trusted ashore, I suppose?’

‘Oh dear me, no, sir. He has run twice, and at Lisbon he tried to get ashore in a barrel, from the wrong side of the bar. And once he stole Mrs Armstrong’s gown and tried to slip past the master-​at-​arms, saying he was a woman.’

‘Then he shall go with Bonden and a file of Marines. Mr Charnock,’ he said to the waiting carpenter, ‘come along with me and let us see what we can do to the cabin to make it fit for a lady. Mr Simmons, while we are settling this, pray let the sailmaker start making a sailcloth carpet: black and white squares, exactly like the Victory. There is not a moment to be lost. Stephen, my hero,’ he said, in the comparative privacy of the fore-​cabin, putting one arm round him in a bear-​like hug’ ‘ain’t you amazed, delighted and amazed? Lord, what luck I have some money! Come and give me your ideas on improving the cabin.’

‘The cabin is very well as it is. Perfectly adequate. All that is needed is another hanging bed, a simple cot, with the proper blankets and pillows. A water-​carafe, and a tumbler.’

‘We can shift the bulkhead a good eighteen inches for’ard,’ said Jack. ‘By the bye, you will not object to the bees going ashore, just for a while?’

‘They did not go ashore for Mrs Miller. There were none of these tyrannical caprices for Mrs Miller, I believe. They are just growing used to their surroundings - they have started a queen-​cell!’

‘Brother, I insist. I should send my bees ashore for you, upon my sacred honour. Now there is a great favour I must ask you. I believe I have told you how I dined with Lord Nelson?’

‘Not above two or three hundred times.’

‘And I dare say I described those elegant silver plates he has? They were made here. Please would you go ashore and order me four, if it can be done with this?

If not, two. They must have a hawser-​laid rope-​border. You will remember that? The border, the rim, must be in the form of a hawser-​laid rope. Mallet,’ he said, turning to a very elderly young man with lank sparse curls who stood bowing and undulating beside the first lieutenant, ‘Mr Simmons tell me you are a man of taste.’

‘Oh, sir,’ cried Mallet, bridling, ‘I protest he is too sweetly kind. But I had some slight pretensions in former days. I contributed my mite to the Pavilion, sir.’

‘Very good. Now I want some ornaments for the cabin, do you understand? A looking-​glass, a vast great looking-​glass. Curtains. Delicate little chairs. Perhaps a - what do you call the thing? - a pouffe. Everything suitable for a young lady.’

‘Yes, sir. I understand perfectly. In what style, sir? Chinoiserie, classical, directoire?’

‘In the best style, Mallet. And if you can pick up some pictures, so much the better. Bonden will go with you, to see there are no purser’s tricks, no Raphaelos passed off for Rembrandts. He will carry the purse.’

The last days of Stephen’s stay in the Lively were tedious and wearing to the spirit. The cabin was scrubbed and scrubbed again; it reeked of paint, beeswax and turpentine, sailcloth; its two cots were slung in different positions several times a day, with stork flowers in match-​tubs arranged about them; the whole was shut up, forbidden ground, except for a space where he had to lie in disagreeable proximity to Jack, who tossed and snorted through the night. And whereas the general atmosphere in the frigate grew more and more like that of the Polychrest on the verge of mutiny, with sullen looks and murmuring, her captain was in a wearisome flow of spirits, laughing, snapping his fingers, skipping heavily about the deck. The married officers looked at him with malignant satisfaction; the rest with disapproval.

Stephen walked up to Admiral Haddock’s house, where he sat with Sophie in the summerhouse overlooking the Sound. ‘You will find him very much changed,’ he observed. ‘You might not think so at the present moment, but he has in fact lost much of his gaiety of heart. In comparison of what he was, he is sombre, and less inclined to make friends. I have noticed it particularly in this ship - distinctly more remote from his officers and the crew. Then again, he suffers frustration with more patience than he used; he cares less passionately about many things. Indeed, I should say that the boy has quite vanished now - certainly the piratical youth of my first acquaintance is no longer to be seen. But when a man puts on maturity and invulnerability, it seems that he necessarily becomes indifferent to many things that gave him joy. I do not, of course, refer to the pleasure of your company,’ he added, seeing her look of alarm. ‘Upon my word, Sophie, you are in prodigious fine looks today,’ he said, narrowing his eyes and peering at her. ‘Your hair - I dare say you have been brushing it? No: what it comes to is this, that he is a better officer, and a duller man.’