Patrick O'Brian - H.M.S. Surprise

Mr Atkins sat by him and in a rapid, excited whisper he told His Excellency of the discoveries he had made. Mr Atkins was never long in any community before he mastered all the gossip: he had found out, he said, that this Mrs V was not a respectable person, that she was in fact the mistress of a Jew merchant - ‘a Jew, for God’s sake!’ - and that her impudent presence in Bombay aroused indignation; that Dr Maturin was aware of the couple’s criminal conversation; and that he had therefore betrayed Mr Stanhope into a false position - His Majesty’s representative giving countenance to a connection of this sort!

Mr Stanhope said little in reply, but when he landed he was stiffer and more reserved than usual: in spite of his elaborate courtesy to Diana, his praise for the magnificent array of tents, umbrellas, carpets, cooling drinks (which reminded him of Ascot); for the lumpish statue of the elephant and the astonishing, astonishing wealth of sculpture in the caves, his want of cordial enjoyment affected the whole company.

He called Stephen aside as they were walking to the caves and said, ‘I am very much disturbed in my mind, Dr Maturin; I have word from Captain Aubrey that we are to embark on the seventeenth! I had counted upon at least another three weeks. Dr Clowes’s course of bleeding and slime-​baths lasts another three weeks.’

‘This must be some extravagant wild flight of naval hyperbole. How often do we not read of passengers urged to appear on board at let us say Greenwich or the Downs on a given date, only to find that the mariners have not the least intention of sailing, either for want of inclination or even for the want of the very sails themselves? You may set your mind at rest, sir: to my certain knowledge the Surprise was without her masts only a very short time ago. It is materially impossible she should sail on the seventeenth. I wonder at his precipitancy.’

‘Have you seen Captain Aubrey recently?’

‘I have not. Nor, to my shame, have I called upon Dr Clowes since Friday. Have you found benefit from his slime?’

‘Dr Clowes and his colleagues are excellent physicians, I am sure; and they are most attentive; but they do not seem to have prevailed with the liver complaint. They are afraid it may fly to the stomach, and fix itself there. However. . . my main purpose in begging for these few moments was to tell you that we have received overland despatches on which I should value your advice: and may I at the same time hint that perhaps you have not been quite as assiduous in attending at the office as ideal perfection might require? We have been unable to find you these last days, in spite of repeated applications to the ship and to your lodgings in the town. No doubt your birds have drawn you away - have seduced you from your usual exact punctuality.’

‘I beg pardon, Your Excellency; I shall attend this afternoon, and at the same time we can discuss your liver with Dr Clowes.’

‘I should be most infinitely obliged, Dr Maturin. But we are neglecting our duty in the most disgraceful manner. Dear Mrs Villiers,’ he cried, casting a haggard eye upon the feast spread in front of the caves, ‘this is princely, princely - Lucullus dines with Lucullus, upon my word.’

Mr White, the chaplain, to whom Atkins had at once communicated his discoveries, was as reserved as his patron; he was also deeply shocked by some of the female and hermaphrodite sculptures; and an unidentified creature had bitten him on the left buttock when he sat upon it. He remained heavy and stolid throughout the entertainment.

Mr Atkins and the young men of the envoy’s suite were less affected by the atmosphere, however, and they made enough noise to give the impression of a party that was enjoying itself: Atkins more than any; he was easy and familiar; he talked loudly, without restraint, and during the picnic he called out to Stephen ‘not to let the bottle stand by him - it was not every day they could swill champagne.’ After it he led Diana to a particularly striking group at the back of the second cave, and holding up a lamp he desired her to take notice of the flowing curves, the delicious harmony, the balance, worthy of the well-​known Greek sculptor Phidias. She was astonished at his assurance, the way in which he held her elbow and breathed on her; but supposing that he was in wine she did not formalise upon it - only detached herself, regretted that she had been so simple as to follow him, and rejoiced at the sight of Stephen hurrying towards them.

Mr Atkins continued in high spirits, however, and when the party broke up on the Bombay shore he thrust his head into her palanquin and said, ‘I shall come up and see you one of these evenings,’ adding with an arch look that left her speechless, ‘I know where you live.’

Later that day Stephen returned to the house on Malabar Hill and said to Diana, ‘Mr Stanhope desires his best compliments to Mrs Villiers, and his heartfelt thanks for an unforgettably delightful afternoon. Lady Forbes, your servant. Do not you find it uncommon hot, ma’am?’

Lady Forbes gave him a vague, frightened smile, and presently she left the room.

‘Maturin, did you ever know such a wretched miserable damned picnic in your life?’ said Diana. She was wearing an ugly, hard blue dress, tediously embroidered with pearls, and a rope of very much larger pearls in a loop to her middle. ‘But it was kind of him to send his compliments, his best compliments, to a fallen woman.’

‘What stuff you talk, Villiers,’ he said.

‘I have fallen pretty low for an odious little reptile like that Perkins to take such liberties. Christ, Maturin, this is a vile life. I never go out without the danger of an affront:

and I am alone, cooped up in this foul place all the time. There are only half a dozen women who receive me willingly; and four of them are demireps and the others charitable fools - such company I keep! And the other women I meet, particularly those I knew in India before - oh, how they know how to place their darts! Nothing obvious, because I can hit back and Canning could break their husbands, but sharp enough, and poisonous, my God! You have no notion what bitches women are. It makes me so furious I cannot sleep - I get ill - I am bilious with rage and I look forty. In six months I shall not be fit to be seen.’

‘Sure, my dear, you deceive yourself. The first moment 1 saw you, I remarked that your complexion was even finer than it was in England. This impression was confirmed when I came here, and examined it at leisure.’

‘I wonder that you should be so easily taken in. It is only so much trompe-​couillon, as AmŽlie calls it: she is the best woman-​painter since what’s-​her-​name.’

‘VigŽe Lebrun?’

‘No. Jezebel. Look here,’ she cried, drawing a finger down her cheek and showing a faint smear of pink.

Stephen looked at it closely. He shook his head. ‘No.

That is not the essence, at all. Though in passing I must warn you against the use of ceruse: it may desiccate and wrinkle the deeper layers. I log’s lard is more to the point. No, the essence is your spirit, courage, intelligence, and gaiety; they are unaffected; and it is they that form your face - you are responsible for your face.’

‘But how long do you think any woman’s spirit can last, in this kind of life? They dare not use me so badly when Canning is here, but he is so often away, going to MahŽ and so on; and then when he is here, there are these perpetual scenes. Often to the point of a break. And if we break, can you imagine my future? Penniless in Bombay? It is unthinkable. And to feel bound by cowardice is unthinkable, too. Oh, he is a kind keeper, I do not say he is not; but he is so hellish jealous - Get out,’ she shouted at a servant in the doorway. ‘Get out!’ again, as he lingered, making deprecatory gestures; and she shied a decanter at his head.