Steven Brust - Yendi

I was definitely going to have to do something about this Laris fellow.

“ Time to get moving, boss .”

“ Eh? ”

“ You’ve been sitting there for about two hours now. That’s enough .”

“ It can’t have been that long .”

“ Humph .”

I noticed Cawti was in the room, waiting for me. “How long have you been there?”

“About two hours.”

“It can’t—have you been talking to Loiosh? Never mind.” I took a couple of deep breaths. “Sorry,” I said. “I’m not used to this.”

“You should be by now,” she remarked dryly.

“Yeah. I’ve got that to console me. How many people do you know who have survived . . . ”

“Yes, Vlad? What is it?”

I sat there thinking for a very long time indeed. Then I asked the question again, in a less rhetorical tone of voice. “How many people do you know who have survived even two assassination attempts, let alone three?”

She shook her head. “There are damn few who survive the first one. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone surviving two. As for three—it’s quite an accomplishment, Vladimir.”

“Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Look Cawti, I’m good, I know that. I’m also lucky. But I’m not that good, and I’m not that lucky. What does that leave?”

“That the assassins were incompetent?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

I saw it and raised one. “Are you?”

“No.”

“So what else does it leave?”

“I give up. What?”

“That the attempts weren’t real.”

“What?”

“What if Laris hasn’t been trying to kill me?”

“That’s absurd.”

“I agree. But so is surviving three assassination attempts.”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Let’s think about it, all right?”

“How can I think about it? Damn it, I did one of them myself.”

“I know. All right, we’ll start with you, then. Were you actually hired to assassinate me, or were you hired to make it look like you were trying to assassinate me?”

“Why on Dragaera—?”

“Don’t evade the issue, please. Which was it?”

“We were hired to assassinate you, damn it!”

“That’s admissible at Court, you know. Never mind,” I said quickly as she started flushing. “Okay, you say you were hired to assassinate me. Suppose you were given the job of making it look good. How—”

“I wouldn’t take it. And get myself killed?”

“Skip that for the moment. Just suppose. How would you deal with the questions I’ve been asking, if your job was to make me think Laris wanted to kill me?”

“I—” she stopped and looked puzzled.

“Right. You’d answer just as you’ve been answering.”

“Vladimir,” she said slowly, “do you actually think that’s the case?”

“Uh . . . not really. But I have to allow for the possibility. Don’t I?”

“I guess,” she said. “But where does that leave you?”

“It means that, for the moment, we can forget about you and Norathar.”

“You still haven’t said why he’d want to do this.”

“I know. Skip that, too. Let’s take the attempt outside the office. I’ve told you about it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I got out of that because I’m quick and accurate and, mostly, because Loiosh warned me in time, and took care of one of them so that I was free to deal with the other.”

“ I was wondering if you’d remember that, boss. ”

“ Shut up, Loiosh .”

“Now,” I continued, “how could Laris, and therefore anyone he hired, not have known about Loiosh?”

“Well, of course he knew about him—that’s why he sent two assassins.”

“But they underestimated him?”

“Well—forgive me, Loiosh—but he didn’t do all that well against Norathar and me. Also, you reacted better and more quickly than Laris could have expected. As I told you before, Vladimir, you have a talent for making people underestimate you.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he gave the job to a pair of incompetents, hoping they’d bungle it.”

“That’s absurd. He couldn’t tell them to bungle it, that would be suicide. And he couldn’t know they’d fail. As I understand it, they almost got you.”

“And, maybe, even if they had, they wouldn’t have made it permanent. We can’t question them. Which reminds me, you could also have been told not to make it permanent. Were you?”

“No.”

“Okay, skip that. Maybe he figured I’d survive, and, if I didn’t, that I’d be revivified.”

“But you still haven’t said why.”

“Wait for it. Now, about today—”

“I was wondering when you were going to get to that. Did you see what the one threw at you?”

“The sorcerer?”

“No, the other one.”

“No. What was it?”

“A pair of large throwing knives, with thin blades. And they were perfectly placed for your head.”

“But I ducked.”

“Oh, come on, Vlad. How could he know that you’d react that quickly?”

“Because he knows me—he’s studied me. Deathsgate, Cawti. That’s what I’d do—what I’ve been trying to do as best I can.”

“I have trouble—”

“Okay, just a minute then.” I yelled past her. “Melestav! Get Kragar in here.”

“Okay, boss.”

Cawti looked an inquiry at me, but I held up a finger as a signal to wait. Kragar came into the room. He stopped, glanced at Cawti, and looked at me.

“This lady,” I informed him, “is the Dagger of the Jhereg.” As I said it, I looked a question at her.

“Might as well,” she said. “It doesn’t much matter anymore.”

“Okay,” I said. “She is also known as Cawti. Cawti, this is Kragar, my lieutenant.”

“Is that what I am?” he mused. “I’ve wondered.”

“Sit down.” He sat. “Okay, Kragar. You’re Laris.”

“I’m Laris. I’m Laris? You just said I was your lieutenant.”

“Shut up. You’re Laris. You get word that I’m sitting in a restaurant. What do you do?”

“Uh . . . I send an assassin over.”

“ ‘An’ assassin? Not four?”

“Four? Why would I send four? Laris wants to kill you, not give you Imperial Honors. With four assassins, you have three eyewitnesses to the thing. He’d get one good guy. There are plenty of ‘workers’ who wouldn’t have any trouble finalizing you if they knew you were sitting in a restaurant. If he couldn’t find someone good, he might go with two. But not four. ”

I nodded and looked at Cawti. “The way you and Norathar work keeps you out of contact with a large part of the Jhereg. But Kragar’s right.”

“Is that what happened, boss?” Kragar asked, looking puzzled.

“Later,” I told him. “Now, let’s suppose that you didn’t have anyone around who could do it, or any two. For some reason, anyway, you want to use four of them. What do you tell them to do?”

He thought for a moment.

“Do I know where you’re sitting, and what the layout of the place is?”

“Whoever told you I was there told you that stuff, too, or else you get back in touch with him and ask.”

“Okay. Then I tell them that stuff, and say, ‘go in there and do him.’ What more is there to say?”

“You wouldn’t have them wait outside?”

He shook his head, looking more puzzled than ever. “Why give you a chance to be up and moving? If you’re sitting down—”

“Yes,” said Cawti suddenly. “When I stepped outside, they were just standing there, waiting. That’s been bothering me, but I didn’t realize it until now. You’re right.”

I nodded. “Which means that either Laris, or his button-man, is a complete incompetent, or—that’s all for now, Kragar.”