A - Immortal Sea

mood on the walk home. When he thought about Stephanie, her smile, her eyes, her small, firm breasts, he didn‟t have to think

about anything else. He didn‟t want to talk to anyone else.

Maybe now he wouldn‟t have to.

They barely had time for dinner before the movie started. Mom would be careful what she said in front of Emily, and

Morgan wouldn‟t be around. Not two nights in a row. Mom was careful about stuff like that, too, with the guys she dated—or

didn‟t date—since Dad died. She didn‟t want them getting ideas, or she didn‟t want him and Emily getting ideas about

anybody taking their father‟s place. She‟d made an exception for Morgan, but only because Morgan was Zack‟s . . .

Father.

He shook his head. Not thinking about that. Think about Stephanie instead, her sharp blue eyes, her red and black hair, the

smooth silver ring at the corner of her mouth. “ The next step is up to you, ” she‟d said.

Which took him back to Morgan and his mother. Shit.

He pushed open the front door, planning to escape to his room.

His mom was sitting where she always sat, in the corner of the couch by the reading lamp, cradling her open laptop. She

worked all the time, making patient notes or doing research. When his dad was alive, they would sit together, not really

talking. Every now and then, his mom would read something out loud about drug interactions or complications from herpes

and his dad would reach over and pat his mother‟s foot.

Good times, he thought sarcastically. But the memory, so ordinary, so clear, clogged his throat.

“Hey, Mom.”

She glanced up from her monitor, her face lighting in that way that made him feel loved and annoyed at the same time. “Hi,

Zack.”

He waited for the familiar litany of questions. How was your day, your lunch, the walk, your life?

When it didn‟t come, the tension leaked out of him like air from a balloon.

“Mom.”

She looked up again, her eyes dark and questioning.

Morgan thought he should tell her.

But he wouldn‟t. He couldn‟t.

He cleared his throat and took the coward‟s way out. “Is it okay if we eat early tonight?”

“Hungry?”

“Yeah.” He was always hungry, so that wasn‟t a lie at least. “Actually, I‟ve got to be someplace at seven.”

“Where?”

He hunched his shoulders. She was always after him to get out of his room, to go out. What did it matter where he went?

“Some movie. At the community center.”

Her face cleared. “Maybe you‟ll see Emily there.”

“Em?”

“She‟s going with a friend from day camp. His parents are taking her. Do you want a ride?”

Stephanie was sixteen. All the guys she dated probably had their driver‟s licenses already. Hell, they probably had cars.

“I‟ll walk.” He heard the sullen note in his voice and made an effort. “Thanks, though.”

“No problem. I‟d better get started on dinner, then.” Her smile flickered as she uncurled from the couch. “So you won‟t be

late.”

She set her half-closed laptop on the coffee table. A minute later he could hear her in the kitchen, banging cupboards,

opening drawers.

He hovered in the living room, caught between coming and going, between his past and his future, between what he had

and everything he wanted. He could follow her and talk to her. He could go upstairs and hide.

He flopped on the couch, thumbed the remote for the TV, and picked up his mother‟s laptop, prepared to dull his mind into

quiet.

His mom was still online. He ran his finger over the keypad to shut the application. Froze, with his finger raised and his

heart thudding in his ears.

THE FINFOLK OF ORKNEY, he read. These sorcerous shape-shifters of Scotland are frequently confused with the more

benign legend of the selkie. While some scholars have argued that the tales have roots in the invasions of the Viking longboats,

Hallen’s Scottish Antiquary of 1886 refers to . . .

Tuna melts, Liz decided, grabbing the can opener out of the drawer. Simple and quick. And Zack liked them. Tigger

mewed as the opener bit into the can, releasing the smell of tuna. Adolescent boys were like strays. As long as they were

eating, they didn‟t run away. She‟d set his plate in front of him and say . . .

And say . . .

“You Googled me,” Zack accused behind her.

Her heart sank. Not the opening she was searching for.

“Like I was a disease or something,” he continued.

She turned. “Zack.”

He stood in the middle of their new kitchen, a skinny, black-haired version of Morgan with stormy face and glittering eyes.

“ He told you, didn‟t he? My . . . Morgan.”

“Someone had to.” His head snapped back as if she‟d slapped him. She bled for him, her man-child, her firstborn,

struggling with a fate and a secret too big to bear. “It doesn‟t make any difference,” she said gently.

“It does to me.”

“You‟re still my son. I love you.”

“I‟m a freak.”

She shook her head. “You‟re unique.”

“Mom. That‟s what they say to kids they put in special classes.”

Despite her heartache, she smiled. “Nothing wrong with special classes.”

Except that Morgan wanted to take him away. For training, he‟d said.

A pang struck her heart.

She dumped the tuna into a bowl. Tigger quivered at her feet. “You‟re the same on the inside,” she said firmly. “Anybody

who cares about you will see that.”

“I turn into a shark. Did he tell you that?”

Her throat closed. A shark. Well. The skin on her arms prickled.

“ I chose the forms most likely to be acceptable to you, ” Morgan had said. “ The closest to human of the creatures of the

sea. ”

Bending, she set the nearly empty can on the floor for Tigger. The kitten‟s vibrating little body pressed against her ankles.

“He said you were a shape-shifter. An elemental. A child of the sea.”

“A shark. It‟s fucking scary.”

“I imagine it is.” She straightened and faced him. “Especially for you.”

His chin thrust out. Trembled. The glitter in his eyes was tears.

She melted. Stepping over the kitten, she crossed the kitchen, reached up, and put her arms around him. His shoulders were

broad and bony. His head loomed above hers.

His arms, his chest, his whole body stiffened. And then he made a sound deep in his chest and sagged against her. His

forehead leaned against her shoulder. His body shook.

She closed her eyes.

“It‟s okay,” she said, the way she had when he was a little boy, with a little boy‟s hurts and fears. She stroked his blackdyed hair. No matter what he was, what he could become, how old he got, he was still her Zack. “Everything‟s going to be all

right. It doesn‟t make any difference.”

She hoped.

“Why did you sleep with him?” Zack asked when the meal was done and they were clearing the dishes away.

Her heart bumped guiltily. “What?”

“Morgan. Did you know what he was before you . . .” Zack ducked his head. “You know.”

She exhaled in relief. He wasn‟t referring to last night. But where was he going with this? “No, of course not. I didn‟t know

until today.”

“So it would have made a difference,” Zack said. His eyes were bleak and curiously adult.