Mingmei Yip - The Nine Fold Heaven

I listened to the scraping of her cloth shoes as we turned corners and passed empty rooms. Finally, she stopped in front of an office and knocked softy, head bowed, like a sinner about to make her humble confession.

“Sister Stone, you have a visitor, may I bring her in?”

A voice boomed from behind the door. “Yes, please come in!”

The sister introduced me to the abbess. “This young lady is Miss Jasmine Chen and she’s looking for a Madame Julie Lewinsky.”

She signaled me to sit across from the older nun, then quietly left.

The room was nearly bare. Besides the wooden desk, a few chairs, and a tall metal cabinet, the only decoration was a wooden cross with a little person spreading his arms on it, looking sleepy with his drooped head. I recognized this man and knew that his name was Jesus. I also knew that all the nuns here, and elsewhere, were his collective wives.

The sixtyish, plain-faced nun studied me with suspicion. “Why are you asking for Madame Lewinsky, and what is your relationship with her?”

The intimidating-looking nun had a few wisps of gray hair escaping from underneath her hood like wayward desires.

“I am doing a favor for a friend who was one of Madame Lewinsky’s old students. She had a letter for her, but when she tried to deliver it, she found that Lewinsky had moved out and heard she was here. Unfortunately, my friend had to leave for Hong Kong, so she asked me to visit her teacher for her.”

The abbess got up and went to a metal cabinet. She took a large ring of keys from her habit, picked one, and used it to open a drawer. She came back with a thick book, set on the desk in front of her, then put on a pair of rimless glasses.

She wet her thumb and began to flip the pages. “Yes, Miss Lewinsky visited many times.” Then she raised one thin eye brow. “Hmm… in fact, a few months ago, she began to stay in our infirmary.”

My heart began to pound. So Lewinsky was here and I could see her, and possibly my little Jinjin, soon, maybe even in a few minutes! I tried but failed to suppress the corners of my lips from lifting like curtains.

“So, Sister Stone, can I… see her now?”

She lowered her head to give me a suspicious look over the rim of her glasses. “Be patient, young lady. Who are you?”

I repeated what I’d already told her. “My friend was her former student and I am going to deliver a letter.”

“What is the letter?”

Damn. I was not prepared for this sort of interrogation and I didn’t actually have any letter.

Seeing that I didn’t respond, she asked, “Then why didn’t your friend just send it?”

“She did, but it was returned, so she asked me to find Madame Lewinsky’s whereabouts and give this letter to her personally.”

“Then why didn’t your friend come to it deliver herself?”

“Because she’s already left Shanghai.”

She tried to penetrate my eyes with her wolflike ones. “But you can’t do that.”

“Excuse me? Can’t do what?”

“See Julie Lewinsky.”

I found myself getting annoyed at this nun with her obtrusive questioning. So I dared her. “But why not?”

“Because she’s already favored by God’s loving call.”

“What do you mean?”

She shook her head, letting out a heavy sigh. “Another unreached Chinese. Have you never heard God’s word or read the Bible?”

What I’d heard about God and the Bible wasn’t good. Most of us Chinese didn’t want the foreigners’ God trespassing in our territory.

The abbess went on. “So let me be direct—she’s passed away.”

“What?” My brain froze for a moment. This was the last thing I’d imagined could happen—the one person who for sure knew Jinjin’s fate was dead! After all I had been through, could fate be so cruel?

I blurted out, “You’re sure?”

She looked at me with an authoritative look, as if she represented God. “I am a Christian. We do not use our Lord’s name in vain.”

“Of course not. I’m so sorry, Sister Abbess Stone. I apologize and please forgive my audacity.”

In fact, I didn’t understand what she was gibbering about that Lewinsky was summoned by God’s boundless, privileged love or using the Lord’s name in vain. I didn’t know anything about this Western Lord, only our Chinese Lord Guan. Or General Guan, who didn’t say much, but then would cut people in half if they annoyed him!

The abbess nodded. “I accept your apology. To forgive is the great lesson taught by Christ. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, you should turn your left one to receive the same.”

I wondered, if I slapped her sunken cheek right now, would she turn the other one?

But I ignored the itch on my hand and instead politely asked. “Where is Madame Lewinsky buried?”

“Why would you want to know that?”

“So I can pay respect to her for my friend, and hope she’d have a closure. I can also burn my friend’s letter as an offering to her former teacher so she can read it in heaven.”

“If I tell you, you must promise not to do any such superstitious thing. She is in God’s hands.”

There wasn’t any letter to burn anyway, so I nodded. The abbess scribbled on a piece of paper, then handed it to me.

“Here’s the address of the cemetery. I will offer a prayer for her, you should too.”

“How did it happen, I mean, Madame Lewinsky’s passing?”

“How? She came to us in her final days by the grace of God. According to the file, she came here a few months ago with a baby. She expressed her wish to live with our order as a lay sister to repent for the terrible sin she had committed. What her sin was, only Father Ricci and God know. But since she brought this little fellow along, I knew instantly the sin had to do with the baby. But the infant was Chinese, not Eurasian, and didn’t look like her a bit, so it couldn’t possibly be adultery. What she did is for God to judge, not us mortals, we are but His humble servants.”

Now I could barely restrain myself as I listened to her pious chattering. So Jinjin was really alive! And this not very friendly nun might know where he was. I knew if I seemed overly eager, she would become suspicious and probably clam up.

So I made use of all my training to appear emotionless. “What happened to the baby?”

For the first time I saw something resembling a smile on the face of this childless woman who was married to God. “A very cute, healthy, and handsome boy, I should say. So he was soon adopted.”

I felt my heart almost jump out of my chest. “What, adopted? By whom?”

“An American couple.”

“You know their name and where are they?”

“But why on earth do you want to know, young miss?”

“Hmm… nothing, just curious. Just thought I might know them—I know a lot of Americans.”

“This was a private adoption, so we can’t release any information. Young miss, you must learn to curb your overzealous curiosity. Omniscience only rests with God, not us mortals.” She scrutinized me with her elongated eyes. “Miss Chen, just who are you and why are you so curious about Julie Lewinsky and her Chinese baby?”

I blurted out, “Because HE IS MY BABY AND I WANT HIM BACK!”

Her jaw dropped as she stared back at me. “If that is true, you must notify the police immediately.”

Confused and agitated, I jumped up and ran from the room.

No one interfered with me when I rushed out of the convent. I then paced for more than an hour to try to calm myself before flagging a rickshaw.

That night I flip-flopped in the hotel bed, thinking of the strange workings of fate. Then, as if on cue, my little Jinjin came into my dream.

“Mama, I’ve been doing very well, so don’t you worry about me.”