Hannah Begbie - Mother - A gripping emotional story of love and obsession

‘Someone who’s honest, and brave, but doesn’t know all the answers.’

‘But I don’t know any of the answers.’

‘Exactly my point.’

My stomach knotted. ‘I have to go. It’s getting late.’

He touched me lightly on the sleeve as I turned to leave. ‘My daughter and I are very close. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and CF has given me countless opportunities to fight for her. To make her proud of me. In a strange way, it’s been a gift. Be brave. Go out and fight for your cub’s life.’

He looked down at his feet then, overcome by emotion or else sensing that he had gone too far – I didn’t know which.

But he was quick to look up, smiling, recovered. He loosened his very orange tie and undid a button and I thought, yes, he’s right about going out to fight.

An answer, at last.

‘Here, before I forget.’ He tore a piece of paper out of his notepad. ‘It’s a list of Phil Collins’ most upbeat ballads to cheer you up … and also my contact details in case you want to run that draft speech by me.’ He folded the page and handed it to me.

‘Thanks, but I’m thinking I might do better starting with a fundraising cake sale than standing up and talking to a whole load of people.’

‘Like tonight? Tonight wasn’t all bad, was it?’

‘Goodbye.’ I smiled.

‘Let me know about that speech. Or if you just need other advice, help, whatever.’

I stood on the kerb and watched him hail another cab – a single sharp swing of his arm to command its attention, after which it cut through a lane of traffic to meet him. Its orange light flicked off and I heard him say, ‘Hampstead.’ A mumbled address that I didn’t catch, then, ‘That’s right, near the running track.’ He took his seat and looked out of the window at me.

I smiled, waved, then looked away first because I’d been taught never to look as desperate as you feel.

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