Carolyne Aarsen - A Cowboy For The Twins

“You know I need that money for my restaurant and eventually my own place.” She gave her mother a teasing grin as she put the containers holding leftovers in the refrigerator. “I’m sure you don’t want me and the girls staying here forever. Kind of cramps Dad’s and your style.”

“You know we enjoy having you around,” her mother said with a gentle smile. “If you’d had a new car you wouldn’t have had to get a ride with...Noah Cosgrove,” her mother added.

The evil man.

Millie’s words still made Shauntelle squirm. She would have to make a note to discuss with her mother how she talked about Noah. The girls didn’t need to get pulled into the drama and emotions surrounding her brother’s death.

“It was okay, Mother,” she said, trying to keep her tone light. She knew she would run into Noah sooner or later, so maybe it was just as well she got it over and done with.

Though she was still surprised at how difficult it had been to be around him. She couldn’t keep the image of her brother’s coffin out of her mind. The searing pain of lowering her brother down into the ground. The loss of her own dreams and plans.

She and Josiah had talked of starting the restaurant together, and he had promised once he was done working for Noah, he would come on board. Now that dream was gone too.

“I can’t believe he’s back. Acting as if nothing has happened.” Her mother’s voice broke as she folded her arms over her stomach, leaning back against the kitchen counter. Shauntelle felt the usual sympathy blended with her own grief. “He came around the store today to get gas, if you can imagine.”

“Maybe it was the closest place,” Shauntelle suggested, trying to rise above her own reactions. Sometimes she was tired of how much they had ruled her life recently.

Her mother harrumphed. “He could have gone to the Petro Pumps. It’s just down the road.”

“Or he could’ve just been trying to give you some business.”

Her mother frowned at her. “And why are you defending him? Josiah was your brother. If it wasn’t for Noah, he’d be still alive.”

Shauntelle knew this was her cue to stoke the fires of her mother’s anger, and normally it wasn’t difficult to do. But today she was bone weary and simply didn’t have the energy.

“I know,” was all she said.

“Are you okay, honey?” her mother asked, her voice still thick with emotion. “Are you thinking of Josiah too?”

“I sometimes wonder what he would be doing right now.” She easily slipped into one of her mother’s favorite conversations—imagining a life for Josiah had he not died.

“Probably working for your father. Maybe taking over the gas station.”

Shauntelle doubted that. One of the reasons Josiah had originally talked about working with her on a restaurant was to avoid exactly that scenario.

“He’d probably be traveling,” she said. “Where do you think he would go?”

Her mother said nothing for a moment, then looked back at her, her eyes dull. “Doesn’t matter, does it? He’s gone. And Noah is here. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that.”

The sorrow in her voice was Shauntelle’s undoing, and she hurried over to her mother’s side and pulled her into her arms. “You can pray about it, Mother. You’ve always said you receive your strength from the Lord.”

Her mother sniffed, nodded, and then pulled back. “Yes. If it wasn’t for my faith, I don’t know how I would have gotten through this dark time.” She tugged a tissue out of the box close at hand and dabbed at her eyes. “But I just hope Noah is only here for a short while. I’m not ready to face him for too long.”

Shauntelle knew she wasn’t either. Seeing Noah had been a shock on so many levels. He’d always been the boogey man. The “evil” man. The man who could create a twist in her stomach at the sheer mention of his name.

But even before that, he’d been someone who intrigued her. Someone she, at one time, had spun futile dreams around.

She shook the emotions off. He wasn’t for her, and she didn’t have room for him. She was being utterly foolish giving him even one second of her thoughts.

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