Dianne Drake - New York Doc, Thailand Proposal

“And I had to carry in wood to the fireplace. In my life, a fireplace is turned on with a little knob off to the side. One little flick, gas turns on and, voilà , a fire.” That had been a nice holiday, though. A wonderful holiday. No trappings like her parents required. Just simplicity and—the two of them. Snow outside, safe and warm with Arlo inside. Feeling protected by him. Drinking hot chocolate. Playing chess for hours on end. Making love for even more hours. Watching, through the plate-glass window, the snow coming down outside and being glad she was in Arlo’s arms, inside. Perfect.

He chuckled. “I always did say you were a wimp.”

“So, where’s the switch to turn on your lights?” she asked, looking around for it.

“I have a generator, but fuel to run it’s pretty expensive and hard to come by out here, so most of the time I light the place with a kerosene lamp. And candles. One of the women here makes candles for me.”

While Ollie had tried to prepare Layla for Arlo’s lifestyle, he hadn’t come close. Yet she was here anyway. But it was only for two months, which did concern her—not the lack of amenities but being so close to Arlo because, already, memories she didn’t want coming back were flooding in. The Catskills. Going to farmers’ markets on the weekends. Reading out loud to each other at night—she liked Charles Dickens, he liked Stephen King. The way he’d always shown up at the hospital to walk her home when it was dark. Or check the oil and battery in her car, then go fill it up to make sure she wouldn’t get stranded somewhere on the road. The big things...the little things. The things she’d taken for granted. So many of them were coming back to her now.

She’d expected some of that, but not so much, which made her wonder if what she’d thought of as a nice romance, or even an intense one at times, had really been much more. She knew she’d fallen in love with Arlo, but suddenly some of their memories were tearing at her heart. Even so, she didn’t regret her decision to come to Thailand as there was a possibility she needed closure much more than she’d thought she did.

“And this is how you get along on a daily basis?” she asked, wondering if she could as well. Because she didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Arlo. There’d been too many times when he’d teased her about being a spoiled little rich girl, which had bothered her more than she’d expected it to. What she wanted more than anything was to show him she could do this on her own. Live this way. Be a good doctor. Be someone he respected. Because that’s the one thing she’d never been sure she’d had from him—his respect. And now, even after all this time, she wanted it. Why? She didn’t know. But it mattered. Mattered much more than she’d have ever guessed it would.

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