Jennifer Mikels - The Child She Always Wanted

She loved the house, probably because some of the most wonderful days of her life had passed here with her parents and sister and brother. They’d been a family in the true sense, sharing love and laughter.

Family. She’d always wanted that. Other girls talked about careers, not Rachel. She’d always wanted a family of her own—husband, children. By now she’d thought that she’d be married, have that family, but so much of what she’d yearned for had passed her by. She couldn’t have regrets. There was no going back, no chance to recapture those dreams, and dwelling over what would never happen was a waste of time.

Curious to see if the house had changed, she lifted Heather’s infant seat and went into the kitchen. She’d explore the other rooms later. Stark, the room contained a round, dark-wood table and chairs, and a nineteenth-century corner cupboard. She stared at the shelf above French doors. Her mother had displayed her collection of nineteenth-century Staffordshire children’s plates and mugs on it. Now it was bare. There were no frills, no knickknacks, no decorative touches. The house of a no-nonsense man, Rachel gathered.

She placed Heather’s carrier on the floor by the kitchen table, then began opening and closing cabinet doors to locate coffee. Sparse, the cabinets contained only a few dishes and staples, enough food for one person to keep from starving. The refrigerator held eggs, beer, a few cans of soda, a bottle of good wine and cheese.

After finding the coffee, she started the coffee brewer, then reached for the telephone on a wall near the back door. Before she’d left Texas, she’d phoned her brother and sister. They’d both insisted she call collect when she located Kane.

Rachel stalled, waiting until the coffee finished hissing, then poured herself a cup while she prepared for her brother’s arguments. Sean had been concerned about her making the trip, about taking on the responsibility of Heather, but Rachel had assured her brother that everything was temporary. He would not be happy to hear she was staying.

His brother’s brief businesslike greeting preceded a beep. She left a cheery message, including her new phone number on his answering machine, then punched out Gillian’s phone number. The phone rang ten times. Who knew where her footloose sister was? Still Rachel tried again five minutes later while drinking a second cup of coffee.

“Hello,” a bright, happy voice greeted. People claimed Gillian resembled a redheaded Meg Ryan. Rachel didn’t see the physical resemblance. But both women were slim built, bubbly and had a sparkle in their eyes.

“Hello, yourself,” Rachel said.

“Hey, big sister. How are you? I was thinking about calling you. I have a new job, a modeling job in San Francisco.”

“Modeling?”

“For a hairstylist at a convention, so I’ll be leaving Los Angeles this weekend. I’ll let you know if I end up with orange or magenta hair.” She breezed on without taking a breath. “I assume you found Kane.”

“Yes. I’ll be staying in Hubbard Bay a little longer. What about Hawaii?” Since getting her small-plane pilot’s license nearly two years ago, Gillian had been looking for the “perfect job.” It had come last week. A charter plane company needed another pilot.

“I don’t go for another three months,” she answered. “So why are you staying?”

Rachel explained the situation with Kane.

“You’re living with him?”

“He’s gone most of the day,” Rachel was quick to remind her. Don’t ask what I’m doing. It sounded insane, she knew. She was living with a man she didn’t know, for an indefinite amount of time, to protect a baby she didn’t want to get too close to. The situation was ludicrous.

“Sean was worried you’d get attached. Did you call him?”

“I left a message.”

“He won’t be pleased.”

No, he wouldn’t be, Rachel knew. Even though he was three years younger than her, he’d become as protective as a big brother since he’d become an adult. “I’m not attached. I could hardly leave Heather with a man who knows absolutely nothing about babies.”

“So you’ll stay there until he does?”

Rachel shared with her Kane’s plan to find Heather’s father. “I’ll be here until he hires a nanny or finds the right man. I’m not certain that he’d be best for Heather.”

“You think she should stay with Kane?”

Now there was a question. “I don’t know.”

“Such indecisiveness is so unlike you, Rachel. You usually know what you’re doing at every moment.”

“This is a different situation.”

A smile sprang into her voice. “I’m glad you’re not being too logical.”

“I’m being logical,” Rachel countered but didn’t feel defensive, aware her sister, who was a relentless tease, was having fun at her expense. “The baby needs someone with experience to care for her.”

“You know, it’s all right if you don’t act sensible all the time. For too many years, you had to think about the consequences of everything for you, Sean and me. You need to enjoy. Wing it.”

Rachel laughed. “Wing it?”

“Do something adventurous.”

“And you should show some caution,” Rachel returned.

Another bubbly laugh came through the phone. “Got to go now, sis.”

Rachel shook her head, aware Gillian lacked even a smidgen of caution. Lovable and unpredictable, she lived for the moment. Rachel rattled off Kane’s phone number to her sister and elicited Gillian’s promise to call when she reached San Francisco. Do something adventurous, she’d said. Wasn’t staying with a stranger adventurous enough for a woman who lived an orderly, well-thought-out life?

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