Laura Mikhralieva - Feelings online

You haven’t taught me anything.
I’ve found the truth on my own, rising again.
I’m not afraid of bounding without wings,
As I have a spring inside me, living not in vain.
My feelings are like flare: you’re easy to get burnt,
So we warm ourselves, enjoying.
But I’m afraid to cast an old shoe after you
Because I don’t want to release you,
Looking into your soul and see that we’re resemblant,
Indulge in illusions and suffer.
So I must learn to let you go if I have no power,
And not to writhe but live in present.

You play skillfully with words,
You touch me with your lips stunned with glory,
But please, let’s not replay the world
Of our feelings,
Because it’s not a love story.
So, emotions
Will color our notions.
We are like true artists
Drafting the borders between us
By using neutral greyish dabs.
We’re responsible for our feelings,
So that actions will indicate everything.
And we imagine every frame
That dwells upon the life game.

You consist of a multitude of flaws
Which you admit and endorse.
You’re proud, and you don’t fall in love with everyone,
But, as for them, they do. You know this fact.
You’re a stable man, with your esprit impact,
So reputation and regard are your concern.
But you evanish when there is the sunset’s turn.
I say this without any flam.
You are going to leave, because you’re possessed with the ideal,
And, to scale the loftiest heights was among your great ideas.
I know, you cannot stay,
But I will have you retained
In my mind…

You were always going towards me,
Notwithstanding various omens and signs.
You were always courageous and flittered like a bird,
Eloping from love, playing hide-and-seek, so, you were not mine.
You held out a hand and called.
When flustering, you clenched your fists,
But I didn’t understand: what was the reason of our being cold?
And why do we have something missed?..
What is next?
It’s easy to be carried away by feelings…
So you left first, without any lies.
I could not forget your lustrous eyes.
And you?

Do you not want to come back to those times?
Or lock the door?
There are shadows eloping from the erstwhile love,
And when you draw the curtains, they are not concealed anymore.
It was said that diverse destinies and viewpoints
Assured each other as strongly as they could,
But I am sad because I think of you.
We’re tired of haste and stereotypes.
We looked for the reasons and methods of feeling the life.
We had the outcomes valued and we were finding the answers,
So we were lost in the nets made for others.

I would like to hate you,
Feel furious, but I can’t.
I watch the light coming from your windows.
I believe in that.
I make precious every period of time,
And, inside me, I want to have another girl, rather than mine.
That girl would dream and live, not for you.
But my heart tells me that it’s madness
That I cannot live without you.
I want to solve every problem without any sadness,
But with affectivity, and not cold.
I want to feel the moonlight freeze,
To go barefoot on the snow breeze,
And wait for the flowers to burst into blossom in my soul.

I could be waiting for you in your garden,
Like a beautiful lily-white rose.
I could let you warm me in the frost,
For me to envelope you in the odor, for all things to happen.
I could at least feel the mood,
Dropping my petals in the likelihood
Of sadness. All unsaid
Was spearing, with the thorns, my head
And memory.
I could show all my tenderness,
Dancing with the wind under the sunlight.
When you have all the roots torn, only you are concerned.
You’re allowed to be beside, but you might
Be destroyed.

The fate has no reason to bring strangers together,
But stars do everything to light the way for people,
Those, who want to love each other.
So they can sigh with relief
Warm their palms,
And make their hearts
Beat faster.
The person that cannot hurt you in any way,
Nor writes a fairy-tale or a play.
For those, the fate does not erect hurdles:
For them, it builds the bridge which has no curdles.
Never.
Sometimes, for love you must be brave
In order to take risks to be saved.

The flowers in my garden are fading
Without any sunlight, and maybe, without you.
So, please, light a candle with your smile,
And you will hear me reading, for a while,
Some prayers.
There will be a cold whirl
Induced by our eyes crossing.
But I don’t hear my name coming from your lips,
So I consider you don’t love me.
Sometimes, your love lends me wings,
But, at the same time, it gives me a lot of tossing.
In the cold, my soft tears harden,
And they do not intend to fall down from my eyelashes.
Please, continue watching in my lucid eyes
And lull me with your whisper dashes.
Appear in my dreams
So that you could heal my heart
With some tenderness, as it seems
To me.

I’m in the city, where no one can sleep
And everybody lives in fear.
They close their eyes, as their life is steep,
Having the problems of others steered.
I’m in the city, where the steady beat
Livens up the dead and knocks down your feet.
The only thing to save you is your headphones
Which immerse you into the world
Created only for you: no relatives and strangers.
I’m in the city of short meetings, without any dangers,
And long letters just for everyone.
For one person, you are the entire world,
But for another – just a common bird.

Players with unusual fates,
The hearts are a good suit.
He was the king of spades, dark and mysterious.