Timong Lightbringer: Hate, Disbelief, Hope [poetry]

Trust me, I am used to this,

I do have to pay my fees

All in hope to find one day

Only one, who won't say "nay",

Only one, chosen for me...

I will find her, you'll see !

But for now I won't resist,

Have some pleasure, at the least...

People all walk strangest ways,

Passing by without trace,

Hoping to find love one day

And forget to say theirs "nay"...

It was the time of retribution,

Of thoughts all dying in confusion,

It was one coldest winter day

When sun had moved off the way.

There is no hope for it to come

And all illusions are now gone,

The only thought that's left to pry

Is endless question - "Why ? Why ? Why ?!"

Why to ignore without answer ?

Why hiding soul in the panzer ?

Ignored ones now maybe few...

Some day they’ll start ignoring you.

Why to give hope ? There is no reason

If you believe it to be treason,

If heart belongs to other man

Then answer "no" - that's better than !

Why to keep silence when one "no" -

And hope will die without grow,

And I won't ever bother you...

Ignored ones ... are they but few ?

I will not be that "spare haven" !

On death won't feast like bloody raven,

I'll find another, truly sun...

I am again in the run.

The time will pass, I will forget

Of winter sun that made me sad,

Of heatless sun that did but hide

And disappeared from the sight.

And as for you, I will that tell -

I'll say : "Goodbye.

Fare

Thee

Well."

Who is the one to do things right,

Who has the perfect future's sight

And who has will to gain these ?

Those ones who have - stand by now, please.

No one believes he can be wrong

Like weakling dreams that he is strong,

Like loony states that he's all right -

Just all the others aren't bright.

Like that it's normal to believe

That lonely men are always stiff,

Divorced women are the stinkers …

Yet all of us considered thinkers.

Oh man, it's common to believe

That death is the eternal grief,

That life is such an endless race

With wildly rising-dropping pace,

That one should never be alone,

That happy days already gone,

And world will never be all right -

Cause all the others aren't bright.

And it's all known we possess

The right to make some constant mess,

We call it "freedom" by the way...

That inborn right to fray and pray.

I just won't say that these are wrongs …

The hundred times it's sung in songs,

The thousand times it's told by lives

Of common folk who were just wise.

I cannot say that they were right,

For modern us they don't seem bright,

Still they did not posses believes

That are the source of endless grief.

The one I call the truly wise

Is that who has no prejudice,

The one who has the clear sight,

For only he will make things right.

One day you'll act as you see fit

And thus refuse some other's bid

To make it way it ought to be,

And once you've made it - you are free.

My wrath is stronger than the will,

The wrath is only what I feel

And I will tear those apart

Who dare mock my bleeding heart !

Move off my way, you jackal’s sons !

I'll smash your faces, laughing ones

And I will teach you how to play

With love and heart, with dream and pray !

You'll dare not to say it so

Or soon you shall be ones in row,

Or soon you'll play your final part

And rest in peace in the graveyard !

I will bury those ones in tombs,

Who dare be those dumbest lambs

And will continue to persist

In making this all-tortures feast !

My wrath is stronger than you all !

I may go down, I may fall,

But I shall see you've paid your price

With own pain without size !

I am no victim and no serf

And for the kindness I won't starve,

I will bury it from you all,

You jackals soon will pay your toll !

The wrath, my wrath, it does descend,

It is so hot ... like desert sand,

And it's the desert in myself …

I'm long too thirsty and do starve.

But I won't drink my own tears,

I'll throw away those fucked fears,

I may be mad, I may be ill ...

Move off my way - for I will kill !

There were many, and were few,

And each of them was somewhat new,

Yet each was but another mew …

So soon away I always flew.

And I can't help but to forget

How meeting each I was so glad,

And how I then buried my hope...

This endless quest will never stop.

I was afraid to be alone,

But long ago those fears gone.

You know the bright sight of the thing?

This search for you gave me one wing.

Is that enough for endless fly

Up to the heaven, up for sky,

Or will I have to find that one

That will be second wing to sun?

Another one, another one ...

Such cruel joke...that ain't fun !

Reborn each time, reborn and mope !

Oh god, will this quest ever stop ?!

The wing has melted, feathers lost,

I am no one, I am but ghost,

Who thought of love as of life's mother

And who for it is yet another.

There were many, but so few,

To be alone just isn't new,

I thought of each as someone other...

But each of them is yet another.