Rachel Dyken: Elect

“Dude, I thought you were dead.”

“Yeah, everyone did.” My eyes fell on Trace. It wasn’t her fault. I’d pushed her into Chase’s arms. I’d given her my damn permission. What the hell was I thinking? Was I high or something?

“I’m glad you’re back man, things have been crazy… and no bullet wounds. Nice.”

“Yeah, nice,” I repeated. “Luca take off?” My eyes fell to Chase, who was sitting far away from everyone in the corner. A bandage wrapped around his shoulder.

“Yup.” He nodded. “Everything’s been taken care of.”

My eyes fell to Chase’s hand. It was like my ring was glaring back at me.

“I missed you.” Mo reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

“Thanks Mo, I’m sorry I—”

My sister slapped me across the face and then beat my chest, collapsing into my arms. “Never again, Nixon, or I swear I’ll kill you myself!” Sobs wracked her body as I held her.

“It was the only way—”

“To hell with your damn excuses, Nixon!” Mo pulled back and slapped me again. Holy shit, the woman was strong. “You may be the devil but I’m kind of used to having your annoying ass around here!”

I smiled. Probably the first smile I’d had in a few days. “Sorry, Mo. I love you.”

“I swear you’re the evil twin.” She pushed against my chest and slumped back into her chair.

“Anyone else need to take a shot at me?” I joked.

Trace kept her head down, staring at the table. I walked a little closer. Her head jerked up, followed by her gun-wielding hand.

A shot rang out and then I felt severe pain in my left arm. “What the hell?” I touched the outside of my tricep and examined my fingers. Blood dripped off of them.

“Holy shit!” Tex pushed away from the table. “She just shot you!”

Mo and Mil snickered and covered their mouths. Even Chase cracked a smile.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I directed my yell to Trace. “Last time I took you shooting you couldn’t even hit a damn target. You could have killed me!”

“Good!” She pushed away from the table and threw the gun onto it, making a clattering noise. “It’s what you deserve!”

The room fell silent as she crossed her arms.

“I deserve to be shot at? To die?”

“Yes.” Her lower lip trembled. “Because you destroyed me! Don’t you get it? You ruined me! You wrecked me! There is no going back and it’s all your fault! You and Chase! I’m so pissed I don’t even know what to do! I have nothing! I have no one!”

“But—”

“No!” She yelled, “I-I have nobody. Chase lied to me, you lied to me, and in the end you both ripped my heart in half! Yes you deserve to be hurt, because then maybe you can feel even a sliver of what I feel right now! I have no heart left. The pieces are gone. You’ve left me with nothing. And I hate you for it. I hate both of you!” With one last sob she ran down the hall, leaving the room blanketed in an awkward silence.

After a few seconds Mo spoke. “You’re getting blood on the floor.”

“Not the time, Mo,” Tex hissed.

Mil stood. “We’ll just be—going.”

They trickled out of the room, leaving me and Chase staring at each another. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I don’t think he did, either. Shit, we’d made a mess of things.

Chase rose from his chair and slowly approached me. With a single nod, he swallowed and then walked over toward the bar and poured us both drinks.

Wordlessly I followed him as he opened the doors to outside. We walked in silence to the end of the property. To the place where we had first made our pact. He held out the glass of whiskey.

We drank in silence.

“I can’t bring myself to apologize,” Chase finally said.

“I wasn’t asking you to.”

“I took her.” Chase looked down at his glass. “I have no excuses other than I thought you were dead, and then when I found out you weren’t”—he laughed humorlessly—“I panicked. I saw her slipping through my fingers—the life I wanted, our future—everything.”

“My fault.” My voice was hoarse, like there were jagged pieces of glass etched in my throat, making it hard for my words to come out smoothly. “I pushed you guys together. In so many ways I thought it would help. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, I just… I was—”

“You were thinking about her, Nixon.” Chase shook his head. “And that’s where we differ. Because toward the end, when I was forcing her to choose”—he sighed—“I wasn’t thinking about her. I was thinking about me.”

I exhaled and closed my eyes. “I won’t fight for her.”

Chase threw down his drink and punched me in the jaw. “The hell you won’t! You piece of shit! I deserve to be shot! And you’re going to sit there and just give up.”

My drink clattered to the ground as I swayed on my feet. “What the hell, Chase? You’re the one who took the most precious thing in my life from me. You’re the one who, even though you knew I was alive, kissed my girlfriend, my forever, my reason for living. And you’re yelling at me?”

“Damn right I am,” Chase spat. “She loves you!”

“She loves you too.” I massaged my jaw. “And I’m not gonna do that to her.”

“Do what?”

“Make her choose.”

Chase hung his head and rubbed his temples. “Stop being the bigger man.”

I sighed. “It’s not about me, man. It’s about her. I’m not going to put her between us. Hell, I’m not even going to let it get between you and me. It’s her , it’s always been her , it’s about her. Hell if I’m going to sit here and throw a fit for wanting something that doesn’t want me back. She loves you? Fine. Because, Chase. It’s never been about my wants or my needs. I can’t live if she’s unhappy. I can’t breathe if she’s upset. If being with you brings her that peace, then I want you to have her. I’ll be your best man at the wedding. I’ll babysit your kids when you want date night. Chase—” I swallowed the emotion in my throat and shook my head. “It’s about her .”

Chase’s eyes welled with tears. I’d never in my life seen the guy cry, but I knew he was close. The man was tough as shit. And I hated that we had been brought to this, that after a lifetime of friendship it would be something like fighting over a girl that would bring us back to the spot where we’d made our pact.

His eyes glazed over as he straightened his spine. “I don’t know if I can let her go. How do you let her go? How did you do it? I can’t—” He shuddered. “I can’t, Nixon. I’m sorry, but if she wants to be with me, I won’t say no. I can’t .”

I sucked in a deep breath and held out my hand to him. He took it. I pulled him in for a hug. “I wouldn’t expect you to, Chase. I would never ask that of you.”

“I want to hate you.”

I released him from my grip and laughed. “Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint you.”

“You wanna go apologize first? Or should I?” Chase asked.

“Let’s give her some time, all right? She did just shoot me. I wouldn’t put it past her to do it again.”

Chase chuckled. “Hell of a lucky shot. I’m surprised you’re still walking straight, a foot to the left and you would have been—”

“Thanks, yeah, I know what I would have been. Dying.”

We picked up our drinks and walked back to the house.

I opened the door to see Mil, Mo, and Tex all back in the room watching us pensively.

It was as if they had all taken in a huge breath and were waiting to see if me or Chase needed to go to the hospital.

“It’s fine.” I waved my hand in the air. “Nobody’s going to die.”

They exhaled in unison.