Эприлинн Пайк: Illusions

“I’m breaking up with Ryan after the dance.”

Laurel blanched. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but this wasn’t it. “Why? Did something happen?”

Chelsea laughed. “Besides me constantly running off at inopportune times and keeping half my life a secret from him?”

But Laurel didn’t laugh. “I mean, did he say something? Did you say something?”

Chelsea shook her head. “No, he’s been fine. We’ve been fine. I mean, he didn’t apply to Harvard, but so what? I might not even get in there. Just because he doesn’t want to go to Harvard doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me,” she said, bitterness coloring her tone. “It just means he cares about staying in California more.” She paused, taking a slow breath. “But really, I can’t expect him to throw his dreams away for me. It’s because of you, actually.”

“Me?” Laurel asked, shocked. “What did I do?”

“You broke up with David,” Chelsea said softly.

Laurel looked down in her lap. Now she knew what was coming.

“I thought I was over him. I really did. And I was happy with Ryan. Very happy. But then you broke up with David and he got so sad and I realized that when the two of you first got together, I was okay letting him go because he was happy . Now that he’s not, I—” She paused, taking a moment to compose herself. “If he’s not happy, I can’t make myself be happy.”

Laurel was silent. She couldn’t even muster up any jealousy. She just felt numb.

“I’m not going to chase him,” Chelsea said, as if reading Laurel thoughts. “It’s not fair, and it’s disloyal, and I won’t do that to you. But,” she said, taking a deep breath, “if he decides to actually notice me after all these years and I miss it because I’m forcing myself to stay with Ryan, I…” She blinked back tears. “I would hate myself. So I’m just going to — to be there, if he needs me. And since you’re my best friend, I thought it was only fair to tell you.”

Laurel nodded, but couldn’t meet Chelsea’s eyes. She was right; it was only fair. In fact, it would be easier. If things worked out between David and Chelsea, then everyone would have someone.

So why did it make her weep inside?

They sat in silence for several seconds before Laurel threw her arms around Chelsea, hugging her tightly. “Wear the red dress,” Laurel whispered in her ear. “You look best in that one.”

LAUREL STOOD IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR, STUDYING her reflection. The irony of wearing the dress she’d worn to the Samhain festival with Tamani last year to a human dance with David this year was not lost on her. But it was her favorite dress, she hadn’t had a chance to wear it since then, and she didn’t really want to go out and buy something new. She’d pulled her hair up in a sparkling clip — also from Avalon — and then let it down again about six times. She didn’t have much longer to make up her mind.

In ten, no, seven minutes, everyone would be downstairs, all dressed up and pretending to like one another before heading to the dance. In separate cars, this time. Tamani insisted. Just in case.

The cold, rainy fall had given way to a less rainy but even colder winter and Laurel hoped she wouldn’t look too weird with just a light wrap. Without the sun to rejuvenate her, she couldn’t handle wearing a jacket. It was too confining, too tiring.

She wondered what Tamani would wear. He’d never been to a human formal dance and she wondered if she should have stopped by his apartment to make sure he had something suitable. The black getup complete with cloak that he had worn when he escorted her to Avalon last year had been stunning, but not exactly appropriate for a high school dance.

Deciding that the sparkling clip would probably take at least some attention off her face — and therefore away from the concerned expression she couldn’t seem to erase no matter how she tried to smooth it with a smile — Laurel stuck the clip back in her hair and forced herself away from the mirror and down the stairs.

“You look gorgeous!” her mom said from the kitchen.

“Thanks, Mom,” Laurel said, smiling over her stress. She put her arms around her mom’s neck. “I really needed to hear that right now.”

“Is everything okay?” her mom asked, pulling back and looking at Laurel.

“The whole David and Tamani thing — remember he’s Tam in front of Yuki — is just… stressful. On top of everything else, I mean.” She had warned her parents that Klea was probably a faerie and not to be trusted, but there wasn’t much they could do but play along like everyone else.

Turning Laurel gently around, her mom lightly rubbed her back, just the way Laurel liked it. “How’s your head?” she asked, kneading her neck now.

“Fine,” Laurel said. “It got pretty bad yesterday, but with finals out of the way I’m hoping for a nice, relaxing break.”

Her mom nodded. “I admit, I’m a little surprised it’s David who’s coming to pick you up tonight.”

“Why is everyone surprised!” Laurel said in exasperation.

“Well, you did break up with him.”

Laurel said nothing.

“After Thanksgiving, I thought for sure you were going to be with Tamani.”

“He has to watch Yuki.”

“And if he didn’t?”

Laurel shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Listen,” her mom said, turning Laurel to face her now, “there’s nothing wrong with taking time to just be yourself. I’m the last person to tell you that you need a guy to make you happy. But if you’re not moving on because you’re afraid you’ll hurt David, maybe you need to remember that you’re hurting Tamani by not moving on, and you might be hurting David by not letting him really move on. If — and I’m not saying you should choose him, but if —you really love Tamani, and you keep putting him off because of David, by the time you’re finally ready to be with him, you may find that he’s moved on. That’s all I’m going to say,” her mom finished, smiling now and turning back to the desserts, which she was piping out of a pastry bag into little edible works of art.

“No one’s going to eat those, Mom.”

Her mom looked down at the beautiful desserts with concern. “Why not?”

“They’re too pretty.”

“Just like you,” she said, leaning in to kiss Laurel’s forehead.

A knock sounded at the door and butterflies started up in Laurel’s stomach again. She was chagrined to realize it didn’t matter who was actually at the door. They all made her nervous.

She opened the door to find Tamani waiting on her porch. He was alone, wearing a black tux with full tails, a shimmering white vest and bow tie, and had topped it off with shiny black shoes and white dress gloves, as though headed to a white-tie affair. Despite being called a winter formal , Laurel knew that most of the guys in attendance would be, at most, wearing dress suits and ties. Tamani probably wouldn’t be the only one in a tux — David seemed to enjoy wearing them — but he would still be the most formally dressed person at the dance. In wondering whether he’d wear the wrong clothes, Laurel had not considered that he might dress too well.

While taking in his appearance, Laurel realized that he looked almost as nervous as she felt — more than a little unusual, for Tamani. “Are you okay?”

Tamani leaned close. “Is anyone else here yet?”

Laurel shook her head.

“Good.” Tamani ducked into the foyer and pushed the door shut. “Yuki asked me not to pick her up.”

“Like, she canceled?” Laurel asked, her stomach clenching. Had she found something out?