Эприлинн Пайк: Spells

“I noticed,” Laurel said with a smile.

“Well, I’m going to try harder.” She kissed Laurel’s forehead. “When you left my store tonight, I was afraid I might never see you again, and I didn’t even know why. And the only thing I could feel through the fear was the overwhelming regret that you didn’t know how much I loved you. How much I’ve always loved you.” She leaned her head against Laurel.

“I love you too, Mom,” Laurel said, her arms tight around her mom’s waist.

“And I love you both,” Laurel’s dad said with a grin, hugging them tightly together, smooshing Laurel in the middle. They all laughed, and Laurel felt the tension of the past year dissipating. It would take work — nothing fixed itself in one night — but it was a start. It was enough.

“So,” her mom said after a minute. “you didn’t tell us what actually happened in Avalon today.” She was hesitant, awkward, but her tone sounded genuine.

“It was amazing,” Laurel said haltingly. “The most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”

Laurel’s mom patted her thigh and Laurel lay down with her head in her mom’s lap. She ran her fingers through Laurel’s long hair the way she had ever since Laurel was a little girl. And with both of her parents just listening, Laurel began to talk about Avalon.

STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE TREE LINE HAD never felt so much like standing at the edge of a cliff. Laurel took several deep breaths and had a few false starts before she forced her feet to walk down the path that led into the forest behind her cabin.

“Tamani?” she called softly. “Tam?”

She kept walking, knowing that it didn’t really matter if she called or not; he must already know she was here. He always did.

“Tamani?” she called again.

“Tamani’s not here.”

Laurel bit off a yelp of surprise as she turned toward the deep voice behind her.

It was Shar.

He looked at her steadily, his eyes the same deep green as Tamani’s, his dark blond hair with green roots framing his oval face and just touching his shoulders.

“Where is he?” Laurel asked when she found her voice.

Shar shrugged. “You told him to go, so he went.”

“What do you mean, he went?”

“This gate is no longer Tamani’s post. He was mostly here to watch you, anyway, and now you’re gone. He has a new assignment.”

“Since yesterday!” Laurel cried.

“Things can move very quickly when we need them to.”

She nodded. Granted, the whole reason she’d come was to tell him they needed to not see each other anymore, but she wanted to explain, to make him understand. She didn’t want it to end like this . The last words she’d screamed at him echoed through her head, reverberating with a sickening clarity. I want you to go away. I mean it. Go! She hadn’t meant it, not exactly. She was angry and scared, and David was standing right there. She took a long, shuddering breath and rubbed her temples with her fingertips.

It was too late.

“What have you got there?” Shar said, interrupting her thoughts.

He was reaching for her hand, and it didn’t occur to her to yank it away. Her thoughts swirled, centering on Tamani and how badly her words must have hurt him.

Shar studied the blisters. He looked up at her, his eyes narrowed. “These blisters are from a monastuolo serum. Have you treated it?”

“Too many things going on,” Laurel mumbled, shaking her head.

“Come with me,” Shar said, pulling on her hand.

Laurel followed, too numb to resist.

Shar led her to a clearing, where he picked up a pack that looked very similar to Tamani’s. She hated being here without him. Everything she saw was a reminder of him. Shar pulled out a bottle of thick amber liquid and laid her hand on his lap, squeezing the bottle carefully to release one large drop of the cloudy solution.

“A little goes a long way,” Shar said, rubbing the tender blisters carefully. The cooling effect was instant, even with the irritation of Shar’s fingers on the sensitive skin. “When I’m finished, keep it uncovered and in the sunlight if you can.”

Laurel stared at him. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. “You hate me.”

Shar sighed as he squeezed another drop onto her hand, rubbing her blistered fingers this time. “I don’t hate you . I hate the way you treat Tam.”

Laurel looked away, unable to meet his accusing eyes.

“He lives for you, Laurel, and that’s not some kind of figure of speech. He lives every day for you. Even after you moved to Crescent City, all he did every day was talk about you, worry about you, wonder what was happening, if he would ever see you again. And even when I told him I was sick of hearing about you, I could tell he was still thinking about you. Every moment of every day.”

Laurel studied her blistered hand.

“And you!” Shar said, his voice getting a little louder. “You don’t appreciate that at all. Sometimes I think you don’t even realize he exists except when you’re around him. Like the only part of his life that matters is the part you see.” He looked up at her and placed her hand back on her own lap. “Did you know he lost his father last spring?”

“I did.” Laurel nodded emphatically, desperate to defend herself. “I knew that. I—”

“That was the worst part,” Shar continued, talking over her. “The worst ever . He was so distraught. But he knew it would be okay, because you were going to come see him. ‘In May,’ he told me. ‘She’s coming in May.’”

Laurel’s chest felt hollow, empty.

“But you didn’t come in May. He waited for you every day, Laurel. And then, when you finally showed up at the end of June, the second he saw you — the instant he saw you — you were forgiven. And every time you come and then leave — go back to your human boy — you shatter him all over again.” He leaned back with his arms across his chest. “And honestly, I don’t think you care.”

“I do,” Laurel said, her voice brimming with emotion. “I do care.”

“No, you don’t,” Shar said, his voice still even and calm. “You think you do, but if you really cared, you wouldn’t do it anymore. You’d stop stringing him along like a plaything.”

Laurel was silent for a few seconds, then she stood abruptly and started to walk away.

“I suppose you came to beg his forgiveness and give him a lot of pretty hopes before traipsing back to your little human boy again,” Shar said, just before she was out of sight.

“As a matter of fact, no.” Laurel turned, angry now. “I came to tell him that I can’t do this two-worlds thing anymore. That I have to stay in the human world and he has to stay in the faerie world.” She stopped and sucked in a breath, grabbing hold of her temper. “You’re right,” she said, calm now. “It’s not fair for me to breeze in and out of his life. And…and it has to stop,” she finished lamely.

Shar stared at her for a long time, then a hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “Laurel, that’s the best decision I’ve ever seen you make.” He leaned forward just a bit. “And I’ve been watching you since you were just a wee thing.”

Laurel scrunched up her face. Thank you, Big Brother.

“Where’d you get the blisters?” Shar stood and crossed his arms over his chest.

Laurel rolled her eyes and turned away.

“This isn’t a game, Laurel.” Shar caught her wrist, and not gently. “There’s only one reason for using a monastuolo serum, and ‘for fun’ is not it.”

Laurel glared at him. “I ran into some trouble,” she said shortly. “I handled it.”