Kresley Cole: Poison Princess

“Because you woan tell me!” He flung the bottle against the wall.

I felt like I’d shattered right along with it. “L-let’s talk tomorrow, when you’re sober. O-okay?” Trembling, I turned toward the door.

“Damn you, girl, you listen to me!” I faced him again, found him wild-eyed.

“Jackson, I will go insane if I don’t discover what I’m supposed to do!” And how to save myself!

“I know what you’re supposed to do. You stay with me, as mine. We’ll grow food, we’ll live our lives. We’ll build something together.”

How badly I wanted that too. My tears gathered and fell.

The anger sailed from him. “ Non , doan cry, you.” He covered my shoulders with his palms, rubbing me with his thumbs.

“Th-there’s more to this,” I insisted.

“Then tell me, bébé .” The anguish in his voice was almost my undoing. The startling gray of his glinting eyes . . . “ Trust me.”

When I remained silent, quietly crying, his hands tightened on my shoulders. He threw back his head and roared like a madman. Then he met my gaze. “You keep your secrets from the one person you could actually depend on.” His voice raw, he rasped, “J’tombe en botte, Evangeline! J’tombe en botte.” I fall to ruin. “I can’t keep doing this! You’re coming with me, or we’ll part ways in the morning.”

“Let’s just talk about this—”

“Vow you’ll come with me, or I’ve got to shut these thoughts down. I can’t keep running after you, goan against all my instincts, no. Can’t keep wanting and waiting. I know what that will do, I’ve seen it.”

“I-I don’t have a choice.”

He released me, jamming his shoulders back. “Then I doan either. I am done with you, girl.”

“What does that mean?”

“I—am— done !”

The last word was still echoing between us when he limped out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

“You knew I was the red witch!” I snapped to Matthew under my breath.

He’d entered the bedroom directly after Jackson left, sitting without a word for what felt like hours until I’d stopped crying.

Finn had also dropped in, bringing a couple of blankets and starting a fire in the little hearth for us. “Obviously you’re off the menu, blondie,” he’d said, “with your boy troubles and all. So be a sport, and tell me the swiftest way to get in Selena’s pants.”

Once he’d realized I was in no mood , he’d raised his palms. “Hey, hey, ’s’cool. Don’t worry, I’ll devise something. Wish me luck.” Then he’d winked and disappeared. Literally. He’d turned himself invisible .

Now I paced while Matthew sat on the floor, studying a piece of broken glass by firelight. “You could have told me that I was her.” I was still reeling from all of the night’s revelations.

“You’re not her.”

“Not yet ? Because she’s strong and vicious. And I’m not, right?” I said, my tone hurt.

He inclined his head. “One day you’ll be known as the Poison Princess, the May Queen. Lady Lotus. Queen of Thorns. Phyta.”

“As in phytomanipulation?”

“You can make plants too. Phytogenesis. Without seed.”

This was titillating—until I remembered that such a talent was likely designed with murder in mind. “You did send me all those nightmares then?”

He frowned. “Nightmares? No. Just . . . dreams.”

“Who was she? Was that me in another life or something?” Say no, say no.

“Past Empress from long, long ago. She didn’t keep secrets. She was known by all. But they burn what they fear,” he said, his thoughts drifting.

“Matthew!”

“I updated the dreams for you. Because you can’t speak middle English.”

But you can? “Those dreams were about to drive me insane. Why would you make me experience such evil things?”

“Not evil . Arsenal.” With a sigh, he repeated, “Arsenal, field of battle, obstacles, foes.”

So he’d shown me all four things, either through visions or nightmares. “Arsenal? As in what I’m capable of?” I grudgingly admitted that the only reason I’d been able to create that lotus was because I’d seen the witch do it before.

The field of battle was a burned-out earth. The foes were other Arcana, like Death. Were the Bagmen the obstacles? “One problem, Matthew. I’m not a killer. I’m never going to use that arsenal to harm another. I swear to you, it will not happen .”

“Hmmm,” was all he said.

“This is a curse! One I’m going to rid myself of. Because of it, I had to push Jackson away. I can’t stand this, Matthew. I want him so much. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

“Take tricks. The markings must be earned.”

“I mean about Jackson. He doesn’t want to part ways with me any more than I do from him. He has feelings for me, deep feelings.” He’d wanted me from the start.

He’d returned to Haven for me, saving my life. He’d kept watch over me, protecting me. Even when he’d been so exasperated with me.

He’d done so much, given me so much, and I hadn’t even given him my trust.

Hadn’t he earned it?

“Jackson was right, about everything,” I said. “I should trust him. I should tell him my secrets.”

I’d been a coward, dreading his reaction—but could it be worse than this? He was hurting . And that was unbearable! My eyes watered just thinking about his voice. “I’m going to fix this. I have to tell him everything.”

Matthew turned the shard, twisting it upside down. “Secrets. You listen poorly.”

“After tonight I have two choices. I can keep these secrets. Or I can keep him . Which means I’ll be telling him the truth, even if I have to . . . to reveal what I am.” Queasiness roiled again.

I reminded myself that Jackson said we could get through anything . He said there was nothing that could happen to me that we couldn’t get past. I didn’t ask for any of this—surely he would understand that!

“Matthew, when I explain my confusion and fears, he’ll want to take me to Gran’s. So I can get cured.”

Together with Jackson. A partnership. With no more secrets between us.

“I’m not going to give up on him.” On us. “And I am through letting Selena worm her way between us.”

“I’m sorry you want him,” Matthew began in a careful tone, as if he was trying very hard to say the exact right thing to me. “I feel your heart—it actually aches . I wish it didn’t, Evie. You cannot have him.”

I glared down at him. “Why would you say that?”

“You don’t want to be Arcana. But you are .” He gazed up at me with those soulful eyes. “Jack’s not .”

“So what are you, like, a card purist or something?”

“He’s a weakness. You use him as a crutch. When he helps, he hurts.”

How could that be? He made me feel hope . “Jackson might be the only thing that’s keeping me from turning into a monster.”

Matthew shot to his feet, towering over me. “Into what you were meant to be!”

I gasped. “He does keep me from turning!”

Matthew’s gaze slid away.

Jackson had quieted the voices, and then had acted as some kind of anchor for me—yet another reason why I should be with him.

I already wanted nothing more than to start a life with him; now it felt fated.

Matthew sank down on the bed, looking exhausted. “If you don’t embrace your powers, you can’t win.”