Lauren Bacall - By Myself and Then Some

I spoke to him a few times when he was in the hospital. Our final exchanges were: Peter, ‘I think I’ve turned the corner.’ Me, ‘Great! Then I can come see you.’ Peter, ‘Yes, and thanks for calling. It means a lot to me.’ So from having slight breathing problems – nothing serious – it turned out to be life threatening. In a month’s time the breathing became more and more acute and the next thing I knew, he was gone. Gone? Not Peter. Not possible. So fast. So abrupt. So unfair.

I see him everywhere. I miss him. I miss the gleam in his eye – where can we find the laughter – the wit – the intelligence. Peter was so intelligent as to frighten me at times, but beneath his bluster he was super-sensitive, caring, insecure, politically wise, involved in all things environmental and anything favoring protecting birds, animals, endangered species, the world. So now he rests in a corner of the town of Amagansett that he loved, next to his friend Alan Pakula. I raise my glass – I have no toast – only to say, ‘You were valuable. You made a difference.’ And, as far as I’m concerned, ‘You’re still here, now and always.’

And so the epidemic of 2003 began and continued.

Less than two months later, my beloved friend Gregory Peck died. He was everything that Atticus Finch was and more. More because he was younger and living and working in a very visible profession, among actors who not only did not think as he did, but did not give voice as he did, and among some studio heads who preferred that he keep his beliefs to himself. There is not really a single word to describe Greg – not one word that might encompass all of him. Of course, our friendship began in 1956 when we made Designing Woman , one of my all-time favorite movies. It was the year of Bogie’s surgery and subsequent fight against cancer. It was one of the worst years of my life. The movie was a romantic comedy, wonderful script and therapeutic for me. I was forced to keep my spirits up and light during daytime shooting of the movie. Greg would ask how Bogie was doing, I would tell him, but there was no dwelling on the subject. Greg was too much of a gent to pry and I was too much in denial to want to talk about it – trying to focus on the movie. Designing Woman and Greg were a blessing. They saved my sanity.

Greg and I worked wonderfully together – always in sync. It’s such a pleasure to find yourself with an actor who is there all the time – no star stuff – just caring about the scene, looking for ways to make it better – that’s the sum of acting, what makes it so rewarding as to make up for the lesser times. Working together, NOT competing. From Designing Woman on, our friendship grew and grew naturally with him and his great wife, Veronique. No matter where we were, always a postcard, always kept in touch. When I was on Broadway, they’d come to New York. Never missed. And every time I received any recognition, he’d be there to present me with an award or introduce me live or on television. Never a request made by me, mind you, always by others. I would never have put him on a spot where he might feel backed against a wall. When I received the Kennedy Center Honor, Greg was unable to attend – the only major one he missed. He sent me a fax (one of many over the years and always unexpected) that said:

Dear Honoree –

I am sending you bread, wine and music for Christmas.

What more do you want?

Don’t answer that.

(Signed) Yours for all time, G.P.

He recited a prayer once – Irish, I think – that I loved. I asked him for a copy and of course received it immediately. It goes like this:

Dear Lord,

I want to thank you, Lord, for being with me so far this day. I haven’t been impatient, lost my temper, been grumpy, judgmental, or envious of anyone.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think I will

Really need your help then.

Amen.

I wish I knew where this originated, but I don’t. Anyway, it doesn’t matter – it came from Gregory Peck and that’s good enough for me. That and the fax were two small samples of his wit. He had it in abundance and he shared it. For any one man to have all these gifts seems impossible, but with simplicity, humility, integrity, loyalty, honor, heart and soul, Greg had it all. He defied the gods, the naysayers, those who demeaned actors. You know, when a friend dies there is a natural tendency to sing his praises and perhaps endow him with more superlative qualities than he might have had. That is definitely not the case with Greg. On the contrary, there is no way to say enough. He was no saint, but he was a man of extraordinary gifts. Of course, he was tall, dark and handsome, but actually more than that – he was dazzling. With a brain – not afraid to show affection – and guess what? He had humor, he had wit, he had warmth. He may not have known it, but I needed his friendship. As an actress who has not been showered with attention in my movie career, knowing that Greg was glad to see me gave me more confidence than I would otherwise have had. When I knew I was going to see him and Veronique, my spirits lifted. The luck, the luck I have had to have a man like Greg Peck as a pal – a man I would trust under any circumstance. I was always and forever grateful to him and for him. And I hope his goodness has rubbed off on me and will make me better in all ways.

Thinking back to Designing Woman , it was the start of what was to become a friendship of almost fifty years. We never lost track of one another. Even through my rocky eight years with Jason. If we communicated less at times it was due to working on different coasts, often in different countries, and to living on different sides of the U.S. It seems that I always felt Greg and Veronique and I had unflagging affection for one another. It really didn’t matter where or when, with Greg once it was fully and firmly established, it would not, could not change. We won awards together, solid gold Rudolph Valentino awards, recognizing our contributions to movies. We remained sort of a team.

Then one day came the offer to play opposite Greg in The Portrait for Ted Turner’s cable channel, me playing the wife of this magical professor with Greg’s lovely daughter Cecilia playing our daughter in the piece. In the story, Greg and I were close as pages in a book, which led to the daughter feeling left out. So there we were in North Carolina, Veronique, Greg, Cecilia and me, living and behaving like one big, happy family – Cecilia calling me ‘Mother’ – Veronique and I going marketing together – all this proof positive that we loved each other. I never for a moment felt like an outsider. I was always welcomed with open arms into the tightly knit Peck family. Veronique made even locations feel like home. Though Greg was ten years my senior, we seemed, and we were, totally in tune with one another. We always had fun working together. On screen, we were a pair – the scenes and the action flowed. We were comfortable together, I felt safe with him.

There was an occasion during The Portrait , I think it was either Greg’s birthday or Veronique’s or their anniversary – there, I’ve covered all bases – anyway, it was a celebration and Veronique had arranged, in her incredibly thoughtful and thorough way, to have her great cook Carmen make a great Mexican dinner. And how she did all this I’ll never know, but it was cooked, packed and shipped to North Carolina. A feast, one of my favorite cuisines. There was great wine, and simple and loving toasts. It was a family celebration and I was included. Perfect Peck. We continued to meet through all those years past and to the end of his life. Aside from seeing my children, no trip to California was complete without at least one dinner at the Pecks’. A highlight for me.