Linwood Barclay: Never Look Away

“I knew I was going to have to call you. I was going to do it in the morning. But I knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep, not knowing where he was, so I decided to call when I did.”

“I’m glad.” I took my hand off hers. “I’d like to get my son now.”

“You’d be welcome to sleep on the couch again, go in the morning.”

“Thank you for the offer,” I said, “but no.”

Gretchen led me upstairs. I sat on the edge of the bed. Ethan stirred, rolled over.

“Ethan,” I whispered, touching his shoulder gently. “Ethan.”

He opened his eyes slowly, blinked a couple of times to adjust for the light spilling in from the hall.

“Hi, Dad,” he said.

“Time to go,” I said.

“Back to our house?” he said hopefully.

“Not for a while yet,” I said. Maybe never. “Probably Nana and Poppa’s. But I’m going to be with you.”

I pulled back the covers. He was still dressed, his shoes on the floor next to the bed.

“I didn’t have any pajamas for him,” Gretchen said apologetically.

I nodded. As I helped Ethan sit up, Gretchen handed me his shoes. While I was slipping them on his feet and securing them with the Velcro straps, he said, “That’s Aunt Gretchen.”

“That’s right,” I said.

“She picked me up at Nana’s.”

“I hear she made you macaroni and cheese.”

“Yup.”

Once I had his shoes on, I picked him up, let him rest his head on my shoulder, and went back downstairs.

“I hope Horace will be okay,” I said as Gretchen opened the door for me.

“Thank you,” she said. “But you just worry about your boy.” She patted Ethan on the head. “Bye-bye.”

“Bye, Aunt Gretchen,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

I carried him to Dad’s car and belted him into the safety seat in the back. I was about to turn the key when Ethan asked, “Did you find Mommy?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Is she home?” he asked.

I took my hand away from the key, got out of the front seat and into the back. I closed the door behind me and snuggled in close to Ethan, taking his hands into mine.

“No,” I said. “She’s gone away. She won’t be coming back to us. But you have to know she loves you more than life itself.”

“Is she mad at me?” he asked.

“No, of course not,” I said. “She could never be mad at you.” I paused, then found the words I wanted. “The last thing she did, she did for you.”

Ethan nodded tiredly, cried a little, then yawned and fell back asleep. I kept holding him. We were still there like that when the sun came up.

Let’s start with booksellers. You wouldn’t have this in your hands-or on your eReader-without them. I am most grateful for the enthusiasm shown by those people who’ve turned their love of books into a life’s work. It doesn’t matter how many ads you may see or reviews you may read, nothing sells a novel better than a bookseller putting it in your hands and saying, “You really should try this.”

Thank you.

I’d be nowhere without my good friend and agent, Helen Heller. She knows a good story, and she knows a bad one, and she’s never afraid to tell me which kind I’m writing. Her instincts and advice are invaluable.

I am deeply indebted to Gina Centrello, Nita Taublib, Danielle Perez, and everyone else at Bantam for their dedication and support.

Keith Williams, of Williams Distinctive Gems, filled me in on diamonds. At the Vaughan Press Centre, where the Toronto Star -my terrific employer for twenty-seven years-is printed, Sarkis Harmandayan and Terry Vere kindly gave me a refresher course on how presses operate.

Speaking of newspapers, I’d like to thank them, too. Most of what I know comes from reading them, and working for them. They’re having a tough time these days. If they end up going totally online, so be it, but we need to pay for it, or stories that need to be told won’t be.

And, as always, none of this would matter without Neetha, Spencer, and Paige.

LINWOOD BARCLAY is a former columnist for the Toronto Star . He is the #1 internationally bestselling author of several critically acclaimed novels, including Fear the Worst, Too Close to Home , and No Time for Goodbye . He lives near Toronto with his wife and has two grown children. His website is www.linwoodbarclay.com.