Tania Carver: Choked

Anni appeared alongside Mickey. Stood close to him.

‘We’re off now,’ she said.

‘Going anywhere nice?’ asked Marina.

‘Just … ’ Mickey searched for the right words. ‘Early start tomorrow. Could do without a late one.’

‘Well I’m not in charge at the moment,’ said Phil, ‘so I can’t tell you what to do.’

Anni smiled. ‘Won’t be too long, though. The old team back together again.’ She looked between Phil and Marina.

Phil nodded. ‘Something like that,’ he said.

Mickey tried to shake hands, but the cast on his arm made it difficult. Anni kissed cheeks.

‘It was a great send-off,’ said Anni. ‘Don would’ve been proud.’

Phil nodded, said nothing.

Mickey and Anni moved away. Phil and Marina watched them go.

‘Do you think they’re …?’ Phil frowned.

‘If they’re not, it’s about time they did.’

They both managed a laugh, then fell into silence. Eventually Phil shook his head, sighed. Marina turned to him.

‘You OK?’

He nodded. ‘Yeah. I was just … that speech. About Don. That I made. Was it all right?’

‘It was wonderful. You said everything you should have said. Incredibly moving.’

‘Good.’ But Phil didn’t look convinced. ‘It just felt … like there was more to say.’

‘There’s always more to say.’

‘No, but … you know what it’s been like recently. Everything that’s gone on. Before all this. Family stuff. My … biological parents. All that.’

Marina said nothing. She knew.

‘Well it’s just … I don’t know. It’s like … we’d just bonded. Recently. Properly. Don and me. Fully acknowledged father and son. And now … he’s gone.’

‘At least you had that. Some sons never even get that much.’

He nodded. ‘Suppose you’re right.’

She said nothing.

‘Enjoy every sandwich,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘Something Warren Zevon said. Just before he died of cancer. He was asked if he’d learned anything about life. Enjoy every sandwich, he said. Because one day it’ll be your last.’

Marina just stared into her drink. ‘Maybe it’s time we went home too.’

Phil looked round. Don’s old friends were fully engaged in their war stories. Even Eileen was talking to friends. The party had moved on from him and Marina. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Let’s.’

They left the pub and walked down the street arm in arm.