Стюарт Макбрайд: Now We Are Dead

See? That was what you got for being nice to people.

Roberta shook her head. ‘Foolish and deluded.’ Then lumbered after him.

After all, he might be a useless wee spud, but he was her useless wee spud.

And some days, that was what counted.

Thank you to: Fiona (partner in crime, maker of tea and naughty Fife person) — she knows what for; Grendel (fuzzy cat, companion, muse and advisor on all the gory bits) — so does she; Beetroot (teeny velvety cat) for trying to catch all the words on the screen as I typed them; Susan Calman (excellent stand-up, author, and all-round Radio-4-type funny person) for permission to quote the line ‘it’s not all sex-swings and dildos’; Chuck Imisson (bookseller extraordinaire and Death Watch frontman) for inspiring the CID team’s ‘Word of the Day’ thing; Charlie Morrison (mechanical guru) for coming to the rescue on more than one occasion; Allan Buchan (AKA: Allan Guthrie, excellent writer of proper tartan noir) for all his input and feedback on this book and the shenanigans contained within; Terence Caven (production Man of Steel) for putting up with all my Oldcastle map-flavoured madness; Sergeant Bruce ‘Brucie’ Crawford (award-winning police-tweeter) who continues to be a font of many knowledges; everyone at HarperCollins but especially Sarah Hodgson (longsuffering editing guru, who’s put up with my nonsense for years), Jane Johnson, Julia Wisdom, Jaime Frost, Anna Derkacz, Sarah Collett, Charlie Redmayne, Roger Cazalet, Kate Elton, Hannah Gamon, Sarah Shea, Damon Greeney, Finn Cotton, the eagle-eyed Rhian McKay, Marie Goldie and the DC Bishopbriggs Naughty Monkey Gang; Phil Patterson and the team at Marjacq Scripts; everyone who works in a bookshop or a library also deserves a massive wodge of thanks, so often they’re the ones who get people excited about books — they’re Monsters of Fabulousness!

Last, but by no means least, I want to take my hat off to you — the person reading this book. If it wasn’t for readers there wouldn’t be writers, libraries, bookshops, or publishers. And what a crappy dreich grey world it would be.