• Пожаловаться

William Johnston: Sorry, Chief…

Здесь есть возможность читать онлайн «William Johnston: Sorry, Chief…» весь текст электронной книги совершенно бесплатно (целиком полную версию). В некоторых случаях присутствует краткое содержание. категория: Иронический детектив / на английском языке. Описание произведения, (предисловие) а так же отзывы посетителей доступны на портале. Библиотека «Либ Кат» — LibCat.ru создана для любителей полистать хорошую книжку и предлагает широкий выбор жанров:

любовные романы фантастика и фэнтези приключения детективы и триллеры эротика документальные научные юмористические анекдоты о бизнесе проза детские сказки о религиии новинки православные старинные про компьютеры программирование на английском домоводство поэзия

Выбрав категорию по душе Вы сможете найти действительно стоящие книги и насладиться погружением в мир воображения, прочувствовать переживания героев или узнать для себя что-то новое, совершить внутреннее открытие. Подробная информация для ознакомления по текущему запросу представлена ниже:

William Johnston Sorry, Chief…

Sorry, Chief…: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

Предлагаем к чтению аннотацию, описание, краткое содержание или предисловие (зависит от того, что написал сам автор книги «Sorry, Chief…»). Если вы не нашли необходимую информацию о книге — напишите в комментариях, мы постараемся отыскать её.

William Johnston: другие книги автора


Кто написал Sorry, Chief…? Узнайте фамилию, как зовут автора книги и список всех его произведений по сериям.

Sorry, Chief… — читать онлайн бесплатно полную книгу (весь текст) целиком

Ниже представлен текст книги, разбитый по страницам. Система сохранения места последней прочитанной страницы, позволяет с удобством читать онлайн бесплатно книгу «Sorry, Chief…», без необходимости каждый раз заново искать на чём Вы остановились. Поставьте закладку, и сможете в любой момент перейти на страницу, на которой закончили чтение.

Шрифт:

Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

“The ocean,” the Captain replied. “There’s a theory afoot that it’s been stolen.”

“I see. But you don’t believe it.”

“That’s pretty far-fetched,” the Captain said.

“I’ll go along with that,” Max said.

“It’s obvious what really happened,” the Captain said. “I told them back at the office that some day this was going to happen. If we keep driving these big ships back and forth through the ocean, I told them, some day it’s bound to happen.”

“What was bound to happen, Captain?”

“We wore it out,” the Captain replied. “You can’t drive a bunch of big ships back and forth through an ocean, year after year after year, and not expect it to finally wear out. It’s only water, you know. It’s not made of iron.”

“I see the logic of that,” Max said.

“Oh, well, no matter,” the Captain smiled. “It’ll be deductible from our income tax. Depreciation.”

“All’s well that ends well,” Max smiled.

“My sentiments exactly,” the Captain said. He turned to the steward. “Take these three to the brig.”

“Max-do something!” 99 begged. “I don’t want to spend the cruise in the brig!”

“Do you have any suggestions?” he said.

“Can’t we tell them who we really are, Max? What harm is there in it? After all, our mission is accomplished.”

“Rule 301, 99. A secret agent must never reveal his identity.”

“Oh, hang Rule 301!”

“Well, as a matter of fact, there is a qualifying clause to Rule 301,” Max said. “Let’s see… how does it go? Oh, yes! Rule 301, Clause A: ‘A secret agent must never reveal his identity unless it would be inconvenient not to do so.’ I think this situation is covered by that clause.”

“Tell them, Max”

“Captain… steward…” Max said, “… inconvenience forces me to reveal our true identities. The fact is, we are not a brilliant space scientist, his attractive assistant, and a scientific experiment. The truth of the matter is, we are dedicated secret agents, operating out of Control.”

“You’re out of control, all right, if you expect me to believe that,” the Captain said.

“If you won’t believe me, will you believe my assistant?” Max asked.

“She’s a pretty little thing,” the Captain said, “but those kind always tell the biggest whoppers.”

“All right, then, would you believe my dog?”

“Rorff!” Fang barked.

“That’s closer to it,” the Captain said. “But I’m still nagged by a pinch of a doubt.”

“Then,” Max said hopefully, “would you believe the Chief?”

“That guy in the Injun Room? Why should I believe him? He sold me a ballpoint pen that burns holes in the paper everytime I try to write a check.”

“This is a different Chief,” Max explained. “The Chief I’m referring to is head of Control.”

“Well… I’ll listen to his story,” the Captain said. “Where is he?”

“Back on the mainland,” Max replied.

The Captain turned to the steward again. “Lock ’em up.”

“Hold it!” Max said. “In spite of the fact that the Chief is hundreds-nay, thousands-of miles away, I am still able to communicate with him.”

“How?” the Captain said dubiously.

“I’ll call him on my shoe,” Max replied.

“Lock ’em up!”

“Hold it again!” Max protested. “You didn’t give me a chance to explain. You see, in fact, my shoe is really a telephone.”

The Captain smiled. “After you get out of the brig,” he said, “you’ll have to drop by my stateroom. I have a compass up there that will interest you. It’s really a dozen-and-a-half avocado pears.”

“Just let me prove to you that my shoe is a telephone,” Max said. “That’s all I ask-the chance to call the Chief on my shoe.”

The Captain rolled his eyes heavenward. “Granted,” he said.

Max removed his shoe, then dialed.

Max: Hello, Chief? This is Agent 86. Come in, please.

(silence)

Max: Chief? Are you there, Chief? Come in, Chief! This is Max. Please come in, Chief. The fate of an entire cruise hangs in the balance.

(silence)

Max hung up his shoe. “It seems we’ve lost contact,” he said to the Captain. “I was afraid that might happen when we got this far out to sea.”

“Are you sure?” the Captain said. “Maybe the Chief didn’t hear his phone ringing. Maybe he was in the shower.”

“Nooooo, I’m afraid I’ve lost contact.”

“You didn’t drop a dime in the heel,” the Captain said. “Maybe that’s what went wrong.”

“Captain, believe me, I have lost contact.”

“You’re giving up too easily,” the Captain said. “Let me try it.”

Max took off his shoe and handed it to the Captain. The Captain dialed.

Captain: Hello, Chief? You there? This is the Captain speaking. Come in.

Chief: What-um want-um, Cap?

Captain: I’ll tell you what I want-a little matter of five bucks for a ballpoint pen that burns holes in my checks!

Chief: Sposed to use-um ballpoint pen under water-um, Cap. Water-um put-um out fire.

Captain: How can I do that? No water. The last ship that went through here wore it out completely.

Chief: Caveat emptor, Cap.

Captain: What does that mean?

Chief: You give-um me back Manhattan Island, I give-um you back five bucks you pay-um for pen.

Captain: Listen, Chief, I’m not the kind who pulls rank, but…

The debate continued.

“Max, do you think the Captain is really going to throw us back in the brig?” 99 said.

“I don’t think he’ll get around to it, 99,” Max replied. “The way this is going, I suspect he’ll be on the phone for the rest of the trip.”

99 yawned. “I’m tired, Max.”

“Better turn in for a nap,” Max said.

“Rorff!”

“All right, you, too, Fang.”

“Aren’t you coming, Max?” 99 said.

Max sighed wearily. “No,” he said, looking painfully at the Captain. “I have to wait for my shoe.”

Шрифт:

Сбросить

Интервал:

Закладка:

Сделать

Похожие книги на «Sorry, Chief…»

Представляем Вашему вниманию похожие книги на «Sorry, Chief…» списком для выбора. Мы отобрали схожую по названию и смыслу литературу в надежде предоставить читателям больше вариантов отыскать новые, интересные, ещё не прочитанные произведения.


William Johnston: Get Smart!
Get Smart!
William Johnston
William Johnston: Get Smart Once Again!
Get Smart Once Again!
William Johnston
William Johnston: Missed It By That Much!
Missed It By That Much!
William Johnston
William Johnston: And Loving It!
And Loving It!
William Johnston
William Johnston: Max Smart Loses Control
Max Smart Loses Control
William Johnston
Отзывы о книге «Sorry, Chief…»

Обсуждение, отзывы о книге «Sorry, Chief…» и просто собственные мнения читателей. Оставьте ваши комментарии, напишите, что Вы думаете о произведении, его смысле или главных героях. Укажите что конкретно понравилось, а что нет, и почему Вы так считаете.